Jimmy Carter has once again blamed traditional religion, particularly Southern Baptists and Roman Catholics, for "creating an environment where violations against women are justified".I did a search of the transcript for the portion that was quoted. This is what was mentioned:
This view that the Almighty considers women to be inferior to men is not restricted to one religion or tradition. Its influence does not stop at the walls of the church, mosque, synagogue, or temple. Women are prevented from playing a full and equal role in many faiths, creating an environment in which violations against women are justified.The article quoted:
The truth is that male religious leaders have had – and still have – an option to interpret holy teachings either to exalt or subjugate women. They have, for their own selfish ends, overwhelmingly chosen the latter.
Their continuing choice provides a foundation or justification for much of the pervasive persecution and abuse of women throughout the world," said Carter. Carter goes on to list horrific violations against women such as rape, genital mutilation, abortion of female embryos and spousal battery.What the transcript and video showed he said was:
Their continuing choice provides the foundation or justification for much of the pervasive persecution and abuse of women throughout the world. This is in clear violation not just of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights but also the teachings of Jesus Christ, the Apostle Paul, Moses and the prophets, Muhammad, and founders of other great religions - all of whom have called for proper and equitable treatment of all the children of God. It is time we had the courage to challenge these views and set a new course that demands equal rights for women and men, girls and boys.
At their most repugnant, the belief that women are inferior human beings in the eyes of God gives excuses to the brutal husband who beats his wife, the soldier who rapes a woman, the employer who has a lower pay scale for women employees, or parents who decide to abort a female embryo. It also costs many millions of girls and women control over their own bodies and lives, and continues to deny them fair and equal access to education, health care, employment, and influence within their own communities.
He was approached due to this woman's husband beating her. She was told to go to the end of the bed each night, and when he is about asleep you start to pray for him out loud so he can hear. He told her to get ready, because he might get a little more violent. SURE enough she came to church that Sunday with both eyes black. She was angry at me and said, "I HOPE your HAPPY!" I told her, "Yes Maam I am, but I'm sorry about what happen." What she didn't know is her husband came to church, and he was staying in the back - when I gave the invitation to come to Christ - he came. "My wife has been praying for me, and I can't believe what I did to her! Do you think Christ would want someone like me?" NOW they have a great marriage, and it all came about because of she sought God.I was told then:
let's not jump from a few idiots to an entire denomination. I know some really obnoxious atheists, but I have enough perspective to realize that not all atheists are like that. I am always mildly amused when people who decry stereotypes left and right try to lump a group of Christians into one stereotype. It's like their own hypocrisy escapes their notice.
The last I heard God hates divorce. Why would any christian pastor support it? Maybe, just maybe, these pastors were trying to keep the marriage together. Maybe, just maybe, we don't know all the facts in those supposed situations where pastors counciled women to be "abused" by their husbands.Maybe just maybe the church just plain doesn't wish to face that their actions don't line up with their message.
No, we don't know all the facts, but we do know what they said publicly. According to the descriptions given by the pastors themselves: one said women should be willing to take a smack. Another told her to antagonize a man who was physically violent.
Well, let me see if I can make this plain by focusing the lens even more. There is no sadder story than the one of Tamar, found in the thirteenth chapter of second Samuel. Tamar is the daughter of King David, and Tamar happens to be extremely beautiful, yet, Tamar soon discovered that the beauty she had going for her ended up being used against her. I think I'll park here, parenthetically, because for some of you, what you have going for you has been sadly used against you. Perhaps it's the way God has blessed you to look; perhaps it's the education you have been blessed to achieve; but whatever the case, it is some gift that God has blessed you with, that sadly, has turned out to be something that haters and others are using against you. This happens to Tamar. The Book says that she is exceedingly beautiful and yet, her beauty gets her in trouble. Why? Because she has a half-brother, by the name of Amnon, and Amnon begins to lust after her. Amnon is so crazy with lust for Tamar that the Bible says: he became sick because of his love for her. Amnon is a sick man because Amnon wants to have his own sister. Sick people do sick things that will infect and affect others who are around them.
You may know what it's like to be sick and you may be doing things that are making you sick. Not only are you making yourself sick, but your "sickness" is infecting and affecting others that you supposedly care about. Not only is Amnon sick, but to heal this sickness, he consults with his street smart cousin, who tells him how to get with his own sister. He lets his father, David, know that he is sick, and he wants his sister, David's daughter, to come and feed him out of her hand. The Bible says that David allows Tamar to go to her sick brother, and when she got there Amnon made her cook the food that he desired. As soon as the food was ready, the Bible says that Amnon had everybody put out; he then went into his bedroom and called in Tamar. Tamar innocently went into the room of Amnon and he raped her.
Can you not hear the helpless screams of Tamar as she says, please don't do this? This is a terrible thing to do. But being physically stronger than Tamar, Amnon because of his sickness, takes advantage of Tamar. Imagine how Tamar must have felt. She must have felt something similar to what Ludacris articulates in the song, "Runaway Love," about poor little Lisa:
Forced to think that hell is a place called home.
For some of you, the one thing you don't want to do is go home. As a matter of fact, for some people the one place they look forward to not going to is home. Some of you spend as much time away from home as you can because of the hell you are catching at home. Why? Because I've discovered that hell is not merely an eschatological destination that you will go to after you die if you are without Christ; hell can be an existential situation that you find yourself in, even if you love Christ. In other words, hell can come to you right where you live. That is what happened to Tamar. Tamar is a victim of domestic violence and sexual assault. I'm dealing with this because sadly and shamefully, domestic violence has become the pink elephant in the living room of the African-American community. Some of us go to church, Sunday after Sunday, not realizing that there are people in our pews, sitting there, silently suffering. Yes, they are praising God, but they are internally shattered and broken by the hell they are catching at home.
And in every story in the Bible where Jesus encounters those who have been victimized by power, Jesus always answers with grace, with love. Not the kind of phony “love” that must beat a person to keep them down, but a love that builds up. Christ always invites a love and a relationship that is about trading places. Christ invites us not to become or create victims, but to lower ourselves willingly to serve another, just as they are serving us. Christ will indeed be martyred, but he recognizes that our call is not to be subservient to our fellow humans to the point of our own demise or victimization, but instead to live in service to others in relationships of mutuality. The power of Christ in the world, and the truth of the gospel are a great equalizer: we succeed together, we fail together. We are faithful together and we falter together.
If I had known then what I know now about abuse and violence and power, I would have probably tried much harder to get my friend away from her boyfriend. But I didn’t. In fact, they got married one week after Blue Eyes and I did, and I lost track of them completely. I do not know if there was ever a transformative moment in their lives, whether he was able to get the help he needed to realize how his own sense of extremely low self-worth, and his endless quest for power in the absence of self-esteem was destroying others around him. I don’t know if she ever fully understood that she was beautiful, strong and beloved as a daughter of God. I don’t even know if she is still alive, honestly. Many women and men who find themselves in those unbalanced relationships do not survive. They fall victim to a love that wounds, that destroys, and overpowers and minimizes. In other words, a love that is not real.
The love for each other to which we are called by Christ—the love which he modeled for us in his living and in his dying and in his resurrection—is a love that asks us to be willing to trade places with others, it asks us to be brave in the face of adversity, and to lean unto Christ when we cannot be brave. It affirms that we are created good and strong and beautiful and that we are beloved of our creator. It requires that we remember who we are and Whose we are, so that we never misuse power against others. It behooves us to deal gently with those who are victims and to trade fear for justice in the lives of those who victimize. It challenges, it builds up, it accepts the love of another, it transforms. And it never hurts. Thanks be to God. Amen.
Levanten la cabeza. When facing the worst of life, up unto the end of the world, levanten la cabeza. Christians are to be characterized by an attitude of hope, active hope. Levanten la cabeza.
This commandment is important for us today, because many of us already know what it is to live in a destroyed world. For many in our society, in our family, the world has already come to an end. Their world has been torn down by poverty, by racism, by sexism, by depression, by disease. So many in our society live in a destroyed world. This command has deep meaning for those facing a world destroyed: levanten la cabeza.
When we encounter systems that seek to destroy our humanity, or the humanity of our neighbor, levantando la cabeza, lifting up our heads, is a radical action. Levantando la cabeza means confronting the systems that sinfully seek to deny our identidad, identity, as beloved children of God. Levantando la cabeza means standing up for our rights, and the rights of others. Levantando la cabeza means hoping actively through seeking justice, through pursuing education, through organizing. Levantando la cabeza means claiming our social identity as God’s beloved community, and enacting the justice and love that characterizes that community.
The commandment has social implications, and also personal implications. We have a responsibility to allow the command to levantar la cabeza to transform the way we live our personal lives, our family lives. When we find ourselves in places of depression, of unemployment, of sickness, Jesus commands us to levantar las cabezas, to live into our identity as children of God, beloved creatures.
Whatever attitude or person desiring to negate our identity as beloved daughters and sons, querida/os hija/os de Dios, is sinful. There are few people I have more respect for in life than my friends who have stood up, who have levantado la cabeza in the face of domestic violence. They have claimed their identity as children of God. They have said, you cannot treat me this way for I am a beloved child of God. I am inspired by their courage. I believe this is the kind of action Jesus commands when he says, “levanten la cabeza.”
Today we begin the church season we call Advent. We begin what we call “a season of expectation.” What Jesus’ command, to levantar la cabeza, says to us is that as we wait, we hope. Esperamos con esperanza. We have a commandment that guides our attitude about expectation.
We lift up our heads, because we already know the end of the story. I don’t mean I know the end of the story specifically. I wish I was one of those preachers who could prophesy the end of the world for you. I wish I could point out exactly who was the antichrist, and give you the hour and time of the second coming. I could make a lot more money that way, like the writers of the Left Behind series have. I could sell images of the last things. People love talking about the end times.
For the record, I have no idea why this type of abuse brings up such strong feelings within me--I didn't witness it growing up, and am not a victim myself. I saw a video on domestic abuse in my college "Women's Studies" course, and it absolutely chilled me to the core. That feeling has haunted me ever since. Such a feeling of utter helplessness. Horrifying. It's a vicious cycle---children who have witnessed domestic violence most likely will either choose a partner who is abusive, or will become abusers themselves. And so it continues....
I once heard a pastor say that everyone has a calling (obviously), but if there's an injustice that you just can't STAND, then there's a reason, and you have an obligation to take a stand to fix it. Makes sense to me---people are naturally more effective and successful in areas that they're passionate about. So, I've got some work to do.
Back to Thanksgiving. The woman at the party was telling me how one of the kids she'd worked with sent her a card with that famous starfish story about how although throwing one shore-stranded starfish back into the sea may just seem like a drop in the bucket, to that one starfish it means everything! The girl wrote that she "was that one starfish".
As I was sitting there sipping my coffee in a warm home, surrounded by happy people, children's laughter, pets, and a 2-table dinner spread, it suddenly hit me: We have SO MUCH to be thankful for in this country. Now, I know this. I KNOW. We hear it constantly. At Thanksgiving we're supposed to think about all of the things we're thankful for, blah blah blah, and I do. But this year, sitting there in the warm house, thinking about how some people have to walk for two DAYS just to fill a rusted pail with muddy water (that will eventually make their waiting family ill), how some children spend their lives scavenging through garbage dumps and will never have the simple luxury of squishing a playdough shark, how many people in the world would have DIED from the sinus infection I was getting over (when all that was needed to clear it was a $12 co-pay on some easily accessible antibiotics that I didn't even have to get out of the CAR to obtain--thank you drive-thru pharmacy), the true meaning of Thanksgiving hit me. THANKS.
To those who have been given much, much is expected.
"Restraining orders are the most common way in Western administrations of handing domestic violence cases and remote offender monitoring has been used in the Western world for some 20 years now," Mor said. "What is unique about our tool is its comprehensiveness: it tracks the aggressors and alerts the monitoring center, the victim and any other stakeholder of a potential interaction. It can even alert the aggressor, so he can retreat, and enables government administrations to determine whether a restraining order has been violated."
Communication is impossible for my Husband to have with me. It's been 12 years, and he has yet to have a conversation with me that is on any kind of adult level. He will not talk most of the time, even to our children. We went to therapy, and he literally could not give an answer to any question. The silence was deafening. Finally, after many visits I was told to lower my expectations, and I would not be disappointed anymore. I don't know how much more hurt I can handle. This is not healthy for my children and me. Does God want me to continue on letting him treat us this way?When I think of the silent treatment it comes to a form of emotional abuse its normally a tool they use to hurt someone. The silent treatment is a childish way of abusing a person, and in most cases I would tell you to just do life as if they were not in the room. (yes I have done that) I realize that is easier said than done, and in some cases that does ignore the fear factor. In other words, you are waiting for the bomb to drop. You tend to walk on eggshells during this period, and its one of the most hurtful and scary things. You just know when they finally DO SPEAK all hell will break loose.
They themselves maybe or have been perpetrators of domestic violence (Yes I went there). There are pastors who are perpetrators and their deacons, elders and ministry leaders know it but they are afraid to call them on it. Often times the church leaders don’t want to appear to be attacking the pastor, cause disruption in the congregation, being shunned by other members, being removed from their ministry position, being asked to leave the church. Now you should make sure that there is abuse before approaching the pastor. Pray about if you have any doubts because once you make the accusation and it not true it will be difficult to restore the person’s reputation. If you witness it you need to address it with the leadership so both parties involved can be offered assistance. Be prepared to be osterized or removed from a position and/or asked to leave the church if the leadership is not ready to address the issue with the pastor.
Rihanna also dealt deftly with the elephant in the room: why she initially went back to Brown after the beating.
"It's pretty natural for that to be the first reaction . . . to go back and start lying to yourself," she told Sawyer. Her love for Brown certainly factored in. "I fell in love with that person . . . so far in love, so unconditional, that I went back." When Sawyer said abused women go back, on average, seven times before they leave, Rihanna corrected her, saying it was typically eight or nine times.
George sites a survey in which nearly 6,000 pastors were asked how they would counsel women who came to them for help with domestic violence. Twenty-six percent would counsel them the same way Marleen's pastor did: to continue to "submit" to her husband, no matter what. Twenty-five percent told wives the abuse was their own fault—for failing to submit in the first place. Astonishingly, 50 percent said women should be willing to "tolerate some level of violence" because it is better than divorce.To say that some were stunned by the results is understatement. I can't blame them, because to be honest I would have felt the same way years ago. If I had NOT experienced this myself I doubt very much I would have believed such a statement. If you think about it WHERE is the common sense behind the advice that so many pastors do indeed give?
Beginning Sunday evening, Nov. 1st until we collapse sometime before midnight on Thursday the 5th ~ we’re creating a party-like atmosphere which includes fun & games ~ and even some cool prizes!
Just as soon as we published the dates for our carnival, I got a call asking me to appear on the Joy Behar Show ~ on Tuesday, Nov. 3.
Music Links
Adrenaline Big House
Chris Tomlin - Indescribable
Newsboys - He Reigns
Chris Tomlin - Amazing Grace
Mariah Carey - Side Effects
American Idol - Shout to the Lord
Cry Out To Jesus
Held
How Far is Heaven
Jesus Loves You Whitney Houston
Kelly Clarkson - Because of you
Kirk Franklin - Imagine Me
Mariah Carey - Side Effects with Lyrics
Newsboys - He Reigns
Toni Childs - I've got to go now
Taylor Swift - Tell Me Why!
Written by Patricia EvansWritten By Lundy Bancroft
Written by Lundy Bancroft 
Written By: Paul Hegstrom
Get Updates Regularly!
By Submitting your email address:
| Emotional Abuse and Your Faith © 2009. All Rights Reserved | Template by My Blogger Tricks .com |
