To often I find that people do not understand verbal and emotional abuse. They tend to downplay it, and if you would JUST be nicer you could change the person.
Diversion off the verbally abusive person and its placed back ON the person that is enduring the abuse.
Below are two examples of children being verbally abused, and people are outraged for good reason.
I found that if is targeted towards a spouse they are asked, "What did you do to make them so mad?" Its not a matter of doing anything. Its a matter of dealing with an irrational person.
Please keep in mind both of these videos can be very triggering to people, so please keep that in mind.
I need to warn you before you view this video that it can be very triggering, and will be hard to watch. The child got to the point where he lashed back, and its a good example of the helplessness you feel when on the recieving end of verbal and emotional abuse. They feel they have no other options but to defend themselves.
It shows how the verbal and emotional abuse that is thrown at people can be constant, and they tend to come back at you will additional attacks.
Both of these examples are of children, and we should be outraged of their treatment. I pray that one day people will take this serious enough to realize that no one should have to put up with this. That includes adults within marriage.
Terri Rimmer wrote an article about, "How Being Verbally Abused as a Child Affects an Adult".
As children live with emotional and verbal abuse WHY is it that people get confused as to why that cycle continues into adulthood is beyond me. The world needs to take abuse in general a bit more serious, and stop making excuses for the abuser.
I see examples of people making excuses for abusive behavior alot, and until it stops or even slows down things will NOT get better!
What excuses have you seen for abuse?
Additional Resources:
Series of Emotional Abuse and Verbal Abuse you can Hear, Feel and See
This series of articles takes segments of the show Super Nanny in which one family was dealing with emotional and verbal abuse.
Hide Out - Site For Children
Hide Out is a site for the support of children.
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19 comments:
Oh, let's see...
Oh, they just had a bad day at work.
They must have been provoked.
We all have bad days.
Hmm... the second video - there is no excuse to ever treat a child that way. Period.
Yes - the second one was WOW! I agree! I wondered at the times if that lady got to see the video, and if she did....what she felt about herself. I hope for herself - and her children - she is receiving help to give those children what they need.
I just thought about this now....that is the second teacher in one week! The second similarity is the age group for the children. I'm surprised I caught that on so little coffee this morning.
The video made me sick; brought back memories; brought back that helpless, hopeless feeling I once knew. I had forgotten that part of abuse -- it was necessary to forget. But remembering it is sometimes necessary, too, because so many are still going through it.
I AM JUST SPEACHLESS RIGHT NOW! The second video is just horrifying (not sure if i spelled it right) to see. I am a very young child right now, well, a very very young teen, but old enough to know what is right and wrong. The second video just brings back memories of what i have to put up with everyday. I am just not sure though if i should find help about this. Physical AND verbal abuse! Should i call the DYFS?
I would suggest you get in contact with your school counselor. If they don't listen - speak to a teacher you are comfortable with. Keep asking for help until someone answers. Don't be silent about the abuse you are enduring, and keep speaking out until someone hears you!
Blessings you to!
Yes, I agree the second video is way out of hand. No child should ever be treated that way. How dare she curses at her child and make him feel less than himself. He's her child for crying out loud! However, just a question out of the blue, what type of family was that, not to be racist but, was it, American, Indian, Pakistan, Chiniese, Philippine, etc.
I have no idea. I assume it was taped in the US.
They look like the average white Americans to me,but it disturbs me that the question was even asked.
They look like the average white Americans to me,but it disturbs me that the question was even asked.
That liitle boy was me only it was my dad that was attacking me. To any kids out there my advise would be to do as I did: get the absolute best education that you are able to and then get out. Don't forget to stay away too. Abusers like this will try to lure you back. BTW, it was the greatest feeling of relief on the day I found out that my dad died of lung cancer. It was finally over.
Thank you for your note, and I'm SO sorry about what you had to deal with.
I came across this while searching for a way to help my children deal with their verbally abusive father and a way to get him to stop. The second video was a lot like what he does although he doesn't go on quite so long. I divorced him, but lost custody. He told the court that I was emotionally unstable. Now I'm living with him again if for no other reason than to try protecting my children and teach them that what he does is not okay. I'm going to continue looking for the right way to do that.
The second video just my sick to mine stomach. it torn me up inside. I hate seeing kids in situation like that.
This is triggering me even though I was not abused as a child by my parents. (By my brother, yes, but that's another matter....) I did, however, witness some of this going on in another family, particularly by the mother. And her husband told me about even worse going on when I wasn't around. I, too, was a target of her abuse, more than once. And so was one of her husband's friends. And so was...You get the picture.
And when I spoke up about it to my husband and she found out, she got furious with me and told her husband I was manipulating mine. When I spoke up about it to others, she started accusing me of defamation and threatening to sue! Now she stalks my blog....Yes, I have reported her to CPS.
...What's even more sickening is some of the comments underneath that video on LiveLeak. You want to know how people justify this abuse, just read the comments. :(
I understand Nyssa. I haven't looked at the comments recently, but I can just imagine. Some people seem to feel this behavior is normal - thus the issue on some level.
The fact she shalks your blog tells me she knows the truth, and hates the fact you tell it.
Abusive personalities don't like to be called out. They are bullies afterall. They are the only ones that can speak against others, but God forbid you say at thing about their's. It turns into a micromanage of your behavior - on so many levels - so they can show others how awful you are. What they tend to do is take a grain of truth, twist it around, and make it look 100 times worse than it is. Its the best they have, and they have to believe it themselves to make them feel superior. Its very sad how insecure they truly are.
It certainly has felt that way for all the time I've known her. And I don't even use her real name or mine on my blog, or identify where we live, because I don't believe in doing that unless it serves some legitimate purpose.
Well, it doesn't sound like she has much to sue over then. It sounds like alot of hot air. I agree on the legitimate purpose.
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