tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.comments2024-02-08T21:51:21.368-06:00Emotional Abuse and Your FaithHannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comBlogger1679125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-10671975266493120672015-05-17T17:14:12.675-05:002015-05-17T17:14:12.675-05:00I couldn't help but cry in torrents, recognizi...I couldn't help but cry in torrents, recognizing the exact issues surrounding the near death of our marriage. I feels like our marriage is horribly unhealthy and the circle of abuse never ends. Is this how God planned it... absolutely not! Depression looms with each day I'm with a desperately dominating Christian man who hammers the submission-obedience Ruling. Molding and shaping a woman to look East Indian with the veil and down grade me as no matter how much serving I do, I'm not good enough. Trapped in a daily ritual of judgement and excessive preaching and demeaning talk, is more than I can bear. After leaving 4 times before and always going back, I recognized that I have to stop the guilt and stop believing I can't make it without him. Now that he is losing his control he is angry, threatening and desperate. This time I realize that I Must leave indefinitely and stop believing he will change. God is all about love and understanding and not this horrible treatment. As hard as it is, as Christians, we still have to wake up to the insidious effects of Emotional and Spiritual Abuse. Our children are watching, as my son is, and they will be affected as well. I'm going to do the right thing even though I hate Divorce and separation!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-56727785917722039592015-05-06T01:03:12.565-05:002015-05-06T01:03:12.565-05:00I never - and I do mean never - hear anyone compla...I never - and I do mean never - hear anyone complaining about, or trying to explain away the biblical admonition for husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church. Women wax rapturous in reminding men of this command, and are quick to point out that it is unconditional. The love is not performance based or earned or necessarily merited. But what is the wife called to do? Sermons are strangely, deafeningly silent on that these days. She is told to respect her husband. There are no conditions on this. Nowhere does it say "if he earns your respect" or "if he leads as you think he should lead" or even "if he is loving you as he should." In fact, wives are told quite the opposite in 1 Peter 3:1-2. The passage makes a point of saying very explicitly "EVEN IF he is disobedient to the word" that the wife can win him over "WITHOUT A WORD" by her "chaste and respectful behavior." (NASB). This does not sound like mutual submission nor does it sound like conditional respect, yet you will never hear that preached or taught anywhere today. The notion that the Bible teaches or condones abuse of wives by husbands is ludicrous, but in our contemporary "sensibilities" we have completely pegged the pendulum against one extreme - unconditional love by the husband and a complete abandonment of any responsibilty whatsoever for wives to respect their husbands unless he "earns" it. And guess who generally sets herself up as judge and jury to decide if he has "earned" it? Unconditional cuts both ways. But I defy anyone to find that being taught from more than a handful of pulpits because it isn't nearly so appealing to women as the continued jackhammer of unconditional love. And this notion that a leader will never ask anything that is painful or sacrificial is likewise misguided. Have you not read what God the Father asked of the submitted Son? Submission even unto the cross? We have become completely imbalanced as a culture and this has sadly pervaded the church. This blog is contributing to the problem - not helping to rectify it - by swinging the pendulum predictably to remind wives of only their entitlement but none of their own unconditional responsibilities in marriage. And let's not confuse respect with obedience. A wife can obey God and disobey her husband if asked to sin, but can do so respectfully, just as the apostles said they must obey God rather than men, yet did so respectfully and were still unjustly punished for such a stand. These are inconvenient truths you will almost never hear from today's pulpits because we scream about love and dare not even whisper anything about the reciprocal responsibility: respect. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-41360346440403486932015-04-27T10:37:18.726-05:002015-04-27T10:37:18.726-05:00Hi ! I am so happy to land in this site. I knew Go...Hi ! I am so happy to land in this site. I knew God guide me here to ease the pain i have been since i found my marriage was annulled without me knowing it. Now, my question is,is that legal? I mean , we both are here in America, we got married 1982, have 2 children, went here in America 1992,got separated around 2000, he didn't file for a divorce ,coz of greediness, doesn't want to give me a single penny a wife is entitled to. Now, he he is about to retire. The Holy Spirit is telling me something i must know, lead me to know i was annulled and that the census in the Phil, show i am single now. this was the other , now i am waiting for the copy in census. know, there is illegality here coz , why i didn't received any paper or notice, he knows exactly where i am, the chldren knows , we see at times in some of our children's bday or whatever. he never mention to me . so i know this is some kind of "funky business". Is there a chance that there is a falsification of public document here? also He got married. That gives me no right to his retirement and everything we have . we also have a house here that i believed he had maximize the loan. Pls if anyone have any idea. do i need to get 2 lawyers? here in America. and back in the Phil? So complicated, i know, but is there any possibility of illegality here? Hoping anyone can give me an idea? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-24021313971409961422015-04-25T19:18:31.561-05:002015-04-25T19:18:31.561-05:00Thank you for this post. I wasn't aware of &qu...Thank you for this post. I wasn't aware of "India's Daughter" until now. <br /><br />It doesn't matter if a woman is called a "gem" or a "flower". It's still the language of objectification and possession, not personhood. Persishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17686511618515789601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-59240595183527050582015-04-22T23:08:33.212-05:002015-04-22T23:08:33.212-05:00I am not baptized. In 2001 I married someone who w...I am not baptized. In 2001 I married someone who was also not bsptized at the courthouse. We divorced in 2009. I am now getting remarried to a catholic. I have to go through the anullment process. How long does it take also if I were the one that caused the marriage to end what are the chances it will get accepted Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16043030391367504099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-61247523277682111232015-03-06T15:14:24.328-06:002015-03-06T15:14:24.328-06:00I'm so sorry for your circumstance Anonymous 6...I'm so sorry for your circumstance Anonymous 67! Of course women aren't the only ones. I started a section under resources for men if you need that. Abusive dynamics tend not to be gender specific.Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-56742325863594634602015-03-06T15:08:16.153-06:002015-03-06T15:08:16.153-06:00https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xoCBAoP3cGXh-SXOL...https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xoCBAoP3cGXh-SXOLFXaYGw4OE1J-NowAt6e86vDZ1QvVe055H8Sgz6HiBWg/viewHannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-26679925939080669472015-03-06T15:07:04.956-06:002015-03-06T15:07:04.956-06:00Sorry its taken so long, but I was taking a break ...Sorry its taken so long, but I was taking a break from things after my mother passed away. Click the link where I mention google doc's. I moved it there once they removed it from their site.Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-45524680986557482592015-02-16T16:24:37.199-06:002015-02-16T16:24:37.199-06:00Be strong. You are the better person here and don&...Be strong. You are the better person here and don't deserve to be treated this way. Talk to your husband or write to him him that is easier and tell him how you are feeling. If he truely loves you and deserves you he will do the right thing and help to resolve these problems with you. Have faith in your self and remember you deserve to be treated better and you are the good person. Also is there a friend doctor or priest you can talk to you. I will pray for you. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-74009968098387888052015-02-15T10:52:16.237-06:002015-02-15T10:52:16.237-06:00What is the other side of the coin? Meaning why do...What is the other side of the coin? Meaning why do you think this is happening? I've refused this because my ex would expect me to be ready for intercourse by snapping fingers. There was no emotional nor physical intimacy. To be honest I would feel forced to have sex with a stranger and that could qualify as rape. Since any sort of peaceful discussion was ever possible and my ex refused to have any help (eg therapist, priest) to help on healthy communication I decided to stop talking. To avoid more pain hurt hate and all what is opposed to love.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-7940953490769024892015-02-14T09:31:02.713-06:002015-02-14T09:31:02.713-06:00This article is great however there should be some...This article is great however there should be some changes, abuse goes both ways in a relationship. While most people assume that it is the husband who is the abuser and the wife who is the abused, I can say from experience that this is not always the case. I have suffered physical and emotional abuse from my wife and called for separation now she sends me this article this morning. I don't know where she is coming from in this but I ask only for prayer that the Lord restores our marriage! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-83135088024499292502015-01-20T11:22:26.389-06:002015-01-20T11:22:26.389-06:00My friend is separated with his wife for almost 23...My friend is separated with his wife for almost 23 years.could this be a ground for annulment?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-83592910118807871702015-01-13T14:15:57.074-06:002015-01-13T14:15:57.074-06:00@ 24 - Marriages annulled under the Catholic Churc...@ 24 - Marriages annulled under the Catholic Church are considered as void ab initio, meaning that the marriage was invalid from the beginning. Some worry that their children will be considered illegitimate if they get an annulment. However, Canon 1137 of the Code of Canon Law specifically affirms the legitimacy of children born in both valid and putative marriages (objectively invalid, though at least one party celebrated in good faith). Critics point to this as additional evidence that a Catholic annulment is similar to divorce; although civil laws regard the offspring of all marriages as legitimate. Whomever gave you that mis-guided, hard-hearted information obviously hasn't been catechized around the evolution of both the correct teaching of the church or the evolution of the annulment process. I apologize on behalf of the Catholic church for any further pain that ill advice has caused you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14425925398562131674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-70115813097572903792015-01-03T22:40:10.913-06:002015-01-03T22:40:10.913-06:00I am a strong advocate of the anullment process. I...I am a strong advocate of the anullment process. It set me free from my terrible guilt about a failed marriage and a sense of having failed God. I see it as a great gift from the church. I pray for those who have met with pain in this process. Yes, it is painful, because it is a journey of grieving the lost dreams of the marriage and relationship with your spouse. But walk with God and trust. He is merciful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-45404458350329189232014-12-30T11:27:43.154-06:002014-12-30T11:27:43.154-06:00Hi Im in England I dont know you I viewed this sit...Hi Im in England I dont know you I viewed this site bceause Im in a difficult relationship and also feel estranged from church my family helped start I now have terrible doubts about leaders and pastors with psycho traits but I have been through care of my mother misdiagnosed eventually with Cancer. At the time I was teroorised by so called Chritians who tried make me homelss. She was also a committed christian so enjoying time in heaven- I wish you well, it may tke more than 2 years feel stronger as shock grief becomes bit more manageable from then with prayer and support.xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-76512714699958013382014-12-27T11:22:32.905-06:002014-12-27T11:22:32.905-06:00I applied for annulment. I believe mine will be a...I applied for annulment. I believe mine will be approved because I was 16 and pregnant and forced to get married. We also have applied for my current husband to receive annulment for his first marriage. His wife left the marriage bed (no sex) after only 7 years. He believed she was having an affair. What are the chances that his will be approved?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-57603868236009322122014-12-24T10:42:42.139-06:002014-12-24T10:42:42.139-06:00Hannah,
I just clicked on the link to go to your ...Hannah, <br />I just clicked on the link to go to your sermon on Judges and got a "Does not exist" page. Has the sermon been moved, or taken down?<br />StanStan G Duncan https://www.blogger.com/profile/01757624042233162584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-78765180819841956152014-12-24T10:40:34.466-06:002014-12-24T10:40:34.466-06:00Hannah, Thanks for this and the sermon. I was want...Hannah, Thanks for this and the sermon. I was wanting to preach a sermon on domestic violence and the only passage I could think of to illustrate it was this one. I did a search and found very few other bits and pieces here and there (not a hot topic). Yours was the only one, and unfortunately you hit on the same passage I did (not terribly unfortunate, but I was hoping there were more passages and more thoughts shared on it). Keep up the good work. Your writing is very important. Stan G Duncan https://www.blogger.com/profile/01757624042233162584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-68300524124826439442014-11-08T07:39:20.235-06:002014-11-08T07:39:20.235-06:00I have been married for just 6 months, my wife com...I have been married for just 6 months, my wife commited adultery just after 3 months of marriage with a person that she was in contact for a year or so as "just friends" before we got married, I have no proof she did anything with him before we got married and to be honest I don't beleive she had intercourse with him before we got married, however I was not aware of this friendship which obviously considering the time frame (she gave herself to him just after 3 months of marriage) i am pretty sure that their relationship was more emotional than a cordial friendship. I cannot prove this although I do have a text msg from her when we were still trying to fix things, saying that she did not take our commitment seriusly and that she was selfish and that she wishes to renew her vows and start with a clean sheet (she is truly sorry for what she did, we had been together for 10 years and she was always faithful) but I know it in my gut that I can never see her as the person I loved. I want to move on and eventually find a person that can make me happy again. But if I want to eventually re-marry I want to do that in a catholic ceremony. I was not aware of this so called friebdship before i got married, if I was aware of it I would have not get married, but how can i prove it was not just a cordial frienahip that evolved to something else after we got married ? do I have grounds for an annulment ?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-67792012309982431432014-10-29T15:18:06.084-05:002014-10-29T15:18:06.084-05:00Yes, take your time Hannah. You contribute a lot t...Yes, take your time Hannah. You contribute a lot to the blogsphere. But contributing here takes second place to your health and well-being and that of your families.Mara Reidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16385458933795539928noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-14105390568553134802014-09-26T12:30:32.816-05:002014-09-26T12:30:32.816-05:00First of all-my advice to any child of uroxicide -...First of all-my advice to any child of uroxicide - be strong -in every way possible-emotionally,spiritually, financially,intellectually,and physically. Do not depend on anyone,except God.<br />I am the only daughter of uroxicide- separated from my 2 older brothers at the age of 6 months(they were 5 and 3 years old).My mother's family raised me-I call her youngest brother dad and his wife mom.I have 3 siblings with them.<br />My mother was killed brutally by her spouse and his younger brother.Her 3 children and the boy who worked in our house were present during the incident. 14 year old boy who worked in our house was labeled "guilty" and imprisoned for 14 years.Both him and his brother escaped the crime easily!<br />6 month later he re-married and had kids.<br />I do not have his last name,never lived in his house,never uttered the word "dad" to a monster like him,do not intend to see his face(because if I do I'd still want to squeeze his 85-yr old neck and love to see him crying behind bars), will not forgive him even when he takes his last breath.If it ever comes to compromising with a monster like him,I'd chose to take my own life.<br />My mother is the biggest portion of my heart.I plan to get buried in the same grave as her.I also want to open an orphanage in my homecountry later in life.<br />I have lived in US for 20 years,completed my degree in IT, work in IT,support my parents financially,married with 2 sons,live with in-laws.I take care of my siblings whenever they need help.<br />Oldest brother is in NY now,is a doctor;younger one back in homecountry,is a lawyer.Older one tried to get in touch with me in US,went to see him and his family with my spouse and kids. The sight of his dad's pic with him on the wall bothered every cell in me-I decided to let go of brothers who'll take a man who killed my mother for his doctor's appointment.<br />I have loved my mother's family the way she would have loved them. Her family couldn't get justice for her life.I consider myself justice for her- it is his defeat as a father that his own blood hates him as a snake!<br />I have missed her each day- I will be 40 next year.<br />My opinion as a daughter of uroxicide - it is unforgivable-only time can be forgiven is if he can give her back to me.A part of me has been snatched away and buried alive in the ground for years.Justice for Her!noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-78437867665589669322014-08-05T09:40:12.171-05:002014-08-05T09:40:12.171-05:00I had absolutely no idea that Danni had passed awa...I had absolutely no idea that Danni had passed away as I just began reading her articles within the last two months. We have lost a valiant woman of God, and I pray others rise up to herald the call God had put upon her life: To tell women the truth about verbal abuse and why it is not Godly, or safe, to stay in such a dysfunctional situation. God said for husbands to love their wives as Christ loves His Church and to treat them as the weaker vessel. Pastors need to begin to hold the men in their congregations accountable, because God does!Cristahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11594577392303744581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-16976736605995955652014-07-28T01:13:48.319-05:002014-07-28T01:13:48.319-05:00Yes. All the marriages need to be annuled. Guessin...Yes. All the marriages need to be annuled. Guessing 6-12 months? Time depends on the church's administrative, how long your exs may drag it out and how long they take to make a decision. In the mean time I would work for the 2nd part of your goal. Earning the right to even BE married in the church. If you don't, annulments won't matter much.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-69490625900738896482014-07-28T01:07:36.570-05:002014-07-28T01:07:36.570-05:00That is grounds. You have to admit you didn't ...That is grounds. You have to admit you didn't realize what you were doing/thinking when you married. But yes. Procreation is a huge part of the church. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-28443205820807788852014-07-28T01:05:40.122-05:002014-07-28T01:05:40.122-05:00Absolutely. On MANY levels. Contact your priest!Absolutely. On MANY levels. Contact your priest!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com