Happy Mother's Day Virtuous Woman!

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, and I want to wish everyone a HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

I heard on the News that Mother’s Day was made official in my country 100 years this year. I had NO idea!

That’s so awesome!

Happy Mother’s Day MOM!

This year is a bit different for me, because of my circumstance. My mother is in the final states of Dementia, and we placed her in Hospice care within the last week.

 

Within the last 6 months my brother and I had to place her in an Alzheimer’s unit, because her care was getting to overwhelming for us. We found that is cost MORE to keep her at home with help then it did to have her in a secure environment that she is in now.

She had long term care insurance that our parents took out for themselves after they themselves cared for their parents. There is limits on those types of care – moneywise – and we decided it was best to make sure she had the best of care with what time she has left. My brother and I went through all kinds of options, and this one seemed the best. We didn’t want to move her, because seniors tend to go downhill faster when you do.

Mother doesn’t know who I am anymore, and just this week when I went to visit she lit up facially. She knew me, but didn’t really ‘know me’ anymore. She told the doctor there I was good friend of hers, and grabbed my hand and wouldn’t let go. Within the last month she has had one struggle after another, and it was nice to have that small window where she was somewhat lucid. She speaks in full sentences, and yet the sentences make no sense in the order she says them. I just give her the response I think she wants. What else can do you right?

Anyway, mother is the prime reason I have been neglecting the blog. It involves a lot of heartache, but she is well worth it!

Happy Mother’s Day TO YOU!

I wish I had a present to give to all of you mothers, caregivers, etc. It was important to me to acknowledge you…and your mothers! Although to me on a personal level its more of a parent’s day – caregiver’s day if you will. Why?

I know I wish my brother a HAPPY MOTHER’S day, because his children do not have a mother (deceased). He is responsible for both roles, although when the children were younger our mother was their substitute for all those children’s gifts they make at school or church. So, for me I celebrate both of them on this day. Its more along the spirit of the day, and way of saying THANK YOU for all you have done.

The only present I could come with was a refreshing outlook that I found this year regarding the Proverbs 31 woman.

Yes, Christians tend to take scripture a bit to literal at times. It seems like they use this for a eulogy to the perfect wife. It was neat to learn about how Orthodox Jews view it, and use as a present of encouragement and thanks!

You might have heard the term ‘Aishet Chayil ‘ being thrown around this year. I think that part of that is due to a new book released this year called, “A Year of Biblical Womanhood”. Aishet Chayil is basically: virtuous woman, Proverbs 31 woman.

Eshet Chayil is a blessing sung every week at the Shabbat table, and from what I understand this on Friday’s nights. The father gives his blessing to his children, and then in some households he sings the Proverbs 31 verses to his wife. It’s not meant to be a show of how she lined up with that scripture, but one of saying THANK YOU for all you have done for the family this week!

To me this was very encouraging, and it’s a way of saying you are blessing with all you do for our family. Its not because you did everything mentioned in those verses, but because you do did all these things for us this week. It is more of an acknowledgment of what she did more than HOW she did them.

Let look at a quote:

If not for her, where would we be? There would be no home, no family... no Jewish people. On Friday night, she sits as the queen of her table, while all those around her sing her praises. And rightly so.

She is the Eishet Chayil, the Woman of Valor, who sets the tone of love, spirituality, and personal growth for all those around her. To know her is to appreciate her strength and talents. And, just in case you might happen to forget, "Eishet Chayil" is there as a weekly reminder.

These words are found in the Book of Proverbs (31:10-31), and accredited to King Solomon.

Sing it with feeling for your own Eishet Chayil, or to the Eishet Chayils that were the foundation of the Jewish people for thousands of years and continue to be so today.

This humble ritual act expresses our deepest felt gratitude for everything that she has done for the family.

Since I can’t sing to you personally…might I offer one of many videos that are presented to their Aishet Chayil !

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day Aishet Chayil!

John Piper: Women teaching Men

I think John Piper has now ‘confused’ the biblical manhood crowd.  I’m serious.

 

No doubt we have all heard the speeches about Biblical Manhood and Biblical Womanhood.  The lists of do’s and don’ts are constantly being added.  Some of them are indeed quite odd.  This one can be added to the oddities list.

 

Before I start I have to wonder if John Piper actually plans what he wants to say, or the message he wants to get across to people.  I honestly don’t think he does on this type of platform.    I think of all the strange things that have come out of his mouth, and I KNOW he can’t actually STUDY before he says this stuff.  To me it would be WORSE if he did!

 

The question that was presented to him, “Would a pastor who uses a biblical commentary written by a woman be placing himself under the biblical instruction of a woman.  If so, would this not go against Paul’s instruction in I Timothy 2:12?”  (I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.)

It might be.  Uh.  He may feel it that way.  And if he does, he probably’s not gonna read it.  He shouldn’t read it.  It doesn’t have.  It doesn’t have to be experienced that way I don’t think.

In other words, he doesn’t know.…I think.

Don’t worry, it gets better.  Or should I say – MORE confusing!

So, I think the point of that text is not to say that you can never learn anything from a woman.  That’s just not true.  It’s not true biblically, and it’s not true experientially, because the reason for saying that I don’t permit a woman to teach or have authority over men here is not because she’s incompetent.  It’s not because she can’t have thoughts.  In fact, the women in your church, and the woman in, the woman you are married to, have many thoughts that you would do well to know. [laughs] And to know, and learn, and to learn from.  And so the issue there is not that she doesn’t have thoughts that you wouldn’t benefit from.  Or that she can’t, uh, teach you anything.

The, the issue is one of how does manhood and womanhood work.  What is the dynamic between how men flourish and women flourish as God designed them to flourish when an act of authority is being exerted on a man from a woman.

And so I distinguish between personal, direct exercises of authority that involve manhood and womanhood.

Okay then.   This says pretty much a whole lot of nothing right?  You can tell he has heard or read some comments from women towards his past teachings of this verse.  He wants to be sure you realize he doesn’t think women are dumb.  Why THANK YOU….I think.

Now we will glance at ‘direct’ and ‘indirect’ examples of women in ‘authority’.  The point is more about the ‘teaching’, but of course as we know ‘authority’ to him is the UPMOST of importance.

Because it’s personal.  She’s right there.  She’s woman.  I’m man.  And I’m being directly, uh, pressed on by this woman in an authoritative way.  Should she be doing that?  Should I be experiencing that?  And my answer’s, No;  I think that’s contrary to the way God made us.

So those two words:  Personal and direct.

Here, here would be an example of what I mean.  A drill sergeant that gets in the face and says, Hut One, Hut Two, Keep Your Mouth Shut Private, Get Your Rifle Up Here, Turn Around Like I Said.  I don’t think a woman ought to be doin’ that to a man – because it’s direct, it’s forceful, it’s authoritative, it’s compromising something about the way a man and a woman were designed by God to relate.

Now, lets put our common sense hat on for a moment!  Tell me what anyone learns from, ‘Hut One, Hut Two, Keep Your Mouth Shut Private, Get Your Rifle Up Here, Turn Around Like I Said.’  That’s not teaching – I guess we can say authoritative drills?

Yes, there is a purpose to drills within the Army.  I realize he wouldn’t be comfortable experiencing this and being pressed on like this FROM a WOMAN, and you have a way of avoiding that.  Don’t join the Army!  I mean she is ‘submitting’ to her authorities by doing her this.  She is following the chain of command.

I guess it never dawned on him that WOMEN don’t ‘flourish’ under those circumstances either – by design!  I’m not sure what he is trying to say here.  It’s rather confusing.  I’m not sure I know anyone that likes to be bossed around like that.  To be honest?  This is an example of ‘authority over’ if you get right down to it.  In the biblical or personal context  – that’s SIN!  (Yes, I took the military context out of it)

Uh. The opposite would be where she is a city planner.  She’s sitting in an office at a desk drawing which street should be one way and which street should be two way.  And thus she’s gonna control which way men drive all day long.  That’s a lot of authority, and it’s totally impersonal, and indirect, and therefore has no dimension of maleness or femaleness about it, and therefore I don’t think contradicts anything that Paul is concerned about here.

So I would put a woman writing a book way more in that category of city planner than of a drill sergeant.   So that the, the personal directness of it is removed.  And the man doesn’t feel himself, and she wouldn’t feel herself, in any way compromised by his reading that book and learning from that book.

(LAUGHS!) Yes, she can’t directly give you cooties I guess!  Sorry I couldn’t help myself. 

I think I understand WHAT he is attempting to say.  One example of a woman – of course in the extreme – that gets in the man’s face and bosses him around.  Again this would be an example of authority ‘over’ him.  How does ‘bossing someone around’ have any dimension of maleness or femaleness?  It doesn’t.

Then you have the woman as the city planner.  In reality she is following a traffic pattern, and laying out how it works with local traffic laws.  To me that isn’t authority at all.  It also isn’t ‘teaching’.  We now have two bad examples of the point he is trying to make.

Using these two examples – that I suppose your could use for his purposes – women are to be impersonal and indirect so they have no dimension on maleness and femaleness when ‘teaching’ to men.

Quite honestly that doesn’t remove the ‘authority’ he speaks of.  I mean I assume if she taught something he hadn’t gleamed prior – it was authoritative.  To Piper the ‘authority’ portion is the important part.  That is the ‘maleness’ part that women shouldn’t have.  Confused yet?

So that, that’s the way I’ve tried to think it through, so that, in society, and in in academic efforts, and in the church.

So that, that’s reading and benefitting from a woman’s exegesis in private.
Would you have any reservations about quoting from that commentary by a women in a public sermon?

I just think that’s an extension of the same principle.

You know there, here’s truth.  A woman saw it.  She shared it in a book.  And I now, I now quote it.

Uh.  Because I’m not having a direct, authoritative confrontation.  She’s not lookin’ at me, and, and confronting me, and authoritatively directing me, as woman.  There’s this, there’s this interposition* of this phenomenon called “book” and “writing” that puts her out of my sight, and, in a sense, takes away the dimension of her female personhood.

Whereas if she were standing right in front of me, and teaching me, as my shepherd, week in and week out, I couldn’t make that separation.  She’s woman. And I am man.  And she’s becoming to me my shepherd week in and week out, which is why I think the Bible says that women shouldn’t be that role in the church.

*Interposition - To place (oneself) between others or things

 

So he can learn from a women within the privacy of his own home while reading, but face to face is just too much for him….biblically.  You know the whole God’s design deal.  It reminds him of the woman drill sergeant I guess.  The book without her personal presence to teach allows him takes away her female ‘personhood’….in dimension (shakes head).  (Does he pretend she is MALE that way as well?  It won’t hurt him that way right?)

Man can have ‘indirect’ authoritative confrontation or directing, because she is only (ahem) preaching in a book.  It will allow his manhood to flourish and not be threatened by the mere fact he is reading a female author.  If she is in front of him?  WELL that might mean she could teach him again, and again and again.   That COULD make a shepherd.  Does this make anyone else dizzy?

I’m sorry but this man has some gall.  To THINK his manhood is protected by a book, because HE can take away that ‘dimension’ of being female away?  HE must separate those aspects, because otherwise its not GOD’S Design?  It’s insulting, and quite frankly I have to wonder if he hasn’t completely lost his cotton pickin MIND!  

How does that work when he is to speak at the True Women’s Conference?  Can you imagine…he is waiting for his time to get up on stage with his ears plugged saying ‘la la la la’ due to the fact a woman is on stage ‘teaching’….it’s a wonder he wasn’t diminished!

 

Okay – on a serious note:

He does realize that God’s word is NOT to be ‘indirect’ in this fashion right?  I’m pretty sure God’s word is to be ‘direct’.  Hmmm.  Maybe he can apply or not apply that interposition deal.  I guess he figures he is safe – remember that God has a ‘masculine feel’ afterall.  To me the more he talks about this biblical roles, or gender roles the more emasculated he sounds.    I never understand WHY he doesn’t realize how insecure and fearful he comes across.  Seriously.  He sounds like he is scared to death of woman.

 

What you think?  Confused yet?! Or just downright outraged?

 

MANHOOD, WOMANHOOD AND THE FREEDOM TO MINISTER
(1 Timothy 2:8-15)

John Piper’s thoughts back in 1989.

 

Additional articles on his podcast:

John Piper: “women’s books keep men safe from their direct, authoritative womanhood”

The Absurd Legalism of Gender Roles: Exhibit C – “As long as I can’t see her…”

CBMW, John Piper, Women Drill Sergeants, and Biblical Roles

Women Can Write Sermons; They Just Can’t Preach Them: Karl Barth vs John Piper

what John Piper sees when women teach

Drawing Source Used

Men are Visual. Women are Vessels

I don’t know about most, but I can’t stand messages that come across about how men are so weak minded, and sex craved.  To me one of the lessons we hear preached from time to time tends to encourage this aspect, and they basically are enabling lust to happen. 

Lust to me is the same thing as coveting.  There is a huge difference between admiring a pretty person, and allowing your mind to imagine how they would be in bed.  Today it seems they tend to blur those things, and fantasy turns into the norm.  That isn’t what the bible says at all. 

We also tend to over exaggerate this aspect in life, because the ones don’t wish to speak about choices in life – tend to tell you its ‘everywhere’ and they can’t escape it.  There is no possible reason you are look at them as possibly weak minded in this aspect, because its always the other parties fault.

Romans 8:5 For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.

There is a huge difference between admiring someone, or the ‘OH BOY to much FLESH for me’ moments.  Then you have those that use that ‘to much flesh for me’ parts of life, and twist them into a lust fest.  The author I speak about uses that moment, and encourages wife’s to allow their husband’s to use them as a vehicle to get all those thoughts out of their mind.  What he doesn’t seem to realize is that doesn’t eliminate the lust, but just lets them have a bit of fun with it.  Here is what I’m talk about:

Understand his appetites, and free his body. Your husband’s two primary physical appetites are for food and sex. He will appreciate it whenever you make the effort to prepare delicious and nutritious food for him. Understand the pressure he feels sexually as a man: Men are wired to respond to visual stimulation, and must deal with seeing sexual imagery often in our society today. Your husband can’t escape it, so he must try to resist the temptation of it while fighting to remain faithful to you as God calls him to be. Your husband needs sexual release often in order to be emotionally healthy. Don’t withhold sex from him when there’s conflict between you. Instead, work on communicating with each other through sex, which will calm your husband, bond him closer to you, and motivate him to work on your marriage more. Let him know what you need him to do to help you enjoy sex with him more, and help him learn how to improve your sex life together. Do whatever you can to make yourself physically attractive, such as by taking good care of your body through exercise and eating well and dressing attractively both in public and at home. If your husband refuses to have sex with you, seek counseling to figure out how to solve the problem.  - How to Learn What Your Husband Isn’t Telling You

(My first comment is the husband doesn’t need water as well? (laughs) look at the second sentence about the primary physical appetites!  Okay – moving on….)

What is lust?

The dictionary definition of lust is "1) intense or unrestrained sexual craving, or 2) an overwhelming desire or craving."
or
Lust is having a self-absorbed desire for an object, person, or experience.

The bible speaks against this, and not once in the bible does it speak of using another person to satisfy it.   It also never says that someone else is responsible for you coveting something that isn’t yours.

Church Leaders that Hide the Truth are Cowards! Can we admit that?

We all know that churches – or shall we say more directly HUMANS make mistakes.  It happens, because we all have screwed up royally at times.  Church leadership isn’t immune.  For me its how they handle their mistakes that show their fruit.    Then you have times in which tragedy hits, and if they make mistakes hiding the tragedy instead of facing it?  It’s hard to wrap you head around WHY they refuse to face the truth.  The more they bounce around?  The more trust they break along the way.

 

We have a saying that goes, ‘The larger they are the harder they fall’. 

 

Today when we look at large congregations in trouble?  It also depends on how they handle that fall, because if they handle it badly?  They don’t just fall hard…they tend to bounce. 

 

The more they bounce along they are also asking others to endure one hard fall after another.

 

I think we have all experienced that in life.  We blew it in some way, and when the time came to face our error….we hid it instead.  We may have been scared of the consequences, or just wanted to get away with it.  We may have told just part of the story, and were hesitate to share the entire circumstance.

 

Then before we know it we get nailed with a full out wrath that tends to be worse than if we had just LAID out our sin the way we were suppose to in the beginning.  Most individuals tend to give all up at that point, because its clear to them the truth is out.  There is no denying it.  Its scary, and its hard but its time to let it all go.

 

It seems lately we have very LARGE organizations within the faith bouncing all over the place by choice.  Now realize I’m not saying ‘literally’ by choice, and I guess the better way to phase that is bouncing due to ‘choices’.  Okay, YES I guess I was right the first time….they bounce by choice.

 

They have some ugly, awful thing happen within their congregation.  They wait until they HAVE to say something, and then they choose to say as little as possible.  They fall hard, and then BOUNCE up with business as usual. 

 

Then another piece comes out, and they fall hard once again and BOUNCE up once again.  The circumstances tends to settle in, and more comes to light.  BOUNCE! BOUNCE! BOUNCE! 

 

Keep in mind its not different types of sin that surfaced, but the same one that they attempted to silence to begin with.  What’s even harder to understand is the people that back up their decision to go down this silly path to begin with.

 

You normally hear all these excuses about how they had to weight what was appropriate to share, and when they needed share it.  You would think the first or second time they BOUNCED they would have realized its time to lay it all out there. 

 

They have a hard time admitting that they break that bond of trust they have within their congregation each and every time they decide to bounce instead of just falling…and then slowly getting up to learn from their mistake.

 

It’s rather scary for me to realize that these leaders are really true cowards at heart.  They are quick to preach what the bible says, and refuse to learn a darn thing themselves.  Yes, that is part of the reason they are called Pharisees.

 

When you read the bible during those times in which Jesus got truly upset with the sin of others?   It was normally directed towards the religious leaders at the time.   

 

They got so consumed with their power, prestige, and role within the community.  They had all the answers, and they expected people to fall into line when it came to what they had to say.  All that power in a sense went to their heads, and not their hearts. 

 

They lost the essence of their position, because they wanted to LEAD not GUIDE.  They got more out of sin sniffing, because they knew they were almost immune from it themselves.  If people questioned that part?  They had their own personal thugs (they call supporters) waiting for their time to tear you apart for not doing as you were told.

 

I have known many truly decent pastors in my lifetime.  They also had some hard circumstances come their way, and they were the first to admit how agonizing it was.  Hiding these things just wasn’t within their character.  They looked to themselves, their church policies, and everything else under the sun to see HOW this failure could have happened.  They wanted to be sure it could never happen again.  They wanted everyone else to watch for it as well!

 

They were the ones that were quick to take the blame, and really own it.  They knew their position, and they felt the responsibility.  They mourned with those that mourned, and along with that asked for forgiveness.  I think most of us realize unless they did the sin themselves it wasn’t ultimately their responsibility, but none the less they owned it.  They will be the first to admit they dropped the ball somewhere, and they will point it out…and take their lumps that comes along with it.  Notice they aren’t the ones that need the thugs – errrr ‘supporters’ either!  At least not in the same way the bouncing ball pastors do!

 

I would say that most people respond to that type of leadership, because we have all lived similar circumstances yet in different ways.  We can empathize with it if nothing else.  That is the firm foundation of being able to grow past it.  The foundation was firm because there was no bombshell waiting to be the next earthquake to smash it to pieces.

 

We always struggle with HOW on earth these men in leadership can allow themselves to keep bouncing like a ball, instead of just facing things that God would have them face.  I look at the attitude that we clearly see today that was spoken of in scripture so long ago: ⁴² Yet at the same time many even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees they would not openly acknowledge their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; ⁴³ for they loved human praise more than praise from God.

Here is the entire passage:

 

John 12:37-43

³⁷ Even after Jesus had performed so many signs in their presence, they still would not believe in him. ³⁸ This was to fulfill the word of Isaiah the prophet:

“Lord, who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?”^[a]

³⁹ For this reason they could not believe, because, as Isaiah says elsewhere:

⁴⁰ “He has blinded their eyes
and hardened their hearts,
so they can neither see with their eyes,
nor understand with their hearts,
nor turn—and I would heal them.”^[b]

⁴¹ Isaiah said this because he saw Jesus’ glory and spoke about him.

⁴² Yet at the same time many even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees they would not openly acknowledge their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; ⁴³ for they loved human praise more than praise from God.

 

Tragedy will always hit churches at one time or another.  Its how we handle this that shows our true faith in God.  The truth will help the survival of the church, and hiding things just tears at the organization’s foundation.   No doubt everywhere you go you will find the ‘yes men’, and they will hide things even knowing the truth.  A leader with integrity will not allow the errors the church made be hidden, because they know God will find a way to heal them.

 

Yes, that is the harder road to travel.  Isn’t that what we hear preached all the time anyway?

 

When they hide things, and allow their churches to bounce, bounce and bounce again?  To me it shows they just don’t get it, and honestly shouldn’t be in the position within the church.  It’s bad enough having the deal with the sin all by itself, but breaking the bond of trust towards the position by hiding things?  It makes things worse.  The eyes are blind, their hearts are hardened. 

 

Then you have those that know better, and would rather play the supporters for these cowards then speak for truth themselves.  Both the leadership and their thugs will be the first to attack anyone that questions their way of doing business.  They also encourage others to do the same. 

 

What the church doesn’t see is with each bounce they ask members to endure they lose trust, and members leave silently.  Secrets kill churches, and individuals faith.

 

It’s not an easy place to stand up against that type of force, but it is God’s way.  At times you lose your place of worship, friends, family, and even your own position. 

 

Truth isn’t always a very easy place to stand with.  Gods asks us to anyway.  He has a plan, and we must have faith enough to wait on him.  He has a plan even when we may not see one.  Truth is what sets us free, and a church that plays a bouncing ball just isn’t.

 

C. J. Mahaney Leaves Leadership of Sovereign Grace Ministries

Prestonwood Baptist Doesn't Call the Cops on the Molester, But They Call the Cops on the Church Member Who Asks Questions About the Molester

PSA: Penitent Pedophiles and CrossWay Community Church (SGM)-Graphic

Breaking: Major Win For Alex Grenier/Tim Taylor vs Calvary Chapel’s Bob Grenier

The Importance of Reporting Abuse in a Religious Setting (especially if you attended Bob Jones U)

When men have to be Lords and women subservient, THIS can happen