Example of Projection in Dr. Marc Montes Tweets

I recently heard about Dr. Marc Monte tweets, and I wanted to point out this example of projection.

 

His last statement was, “Seems unreasonable to make comments about me when we’ve never met.  You come across as an angry young man.”

 

Now, lets look at his comments on twitter that for some reason to him DON’T come across as ‘angry’.  OH!  Lets not forget the important side note – what spurred the ‘angry’ man (cough!) to respond to him at all!

 

Went to BJU from ‘85-‘89.  Never heard one word about abuse.  Only psychos feel ‘abused’.  The rest of us had fun in a protected place.

and

Too many ‘victims’ use the Internet as a platform for whining.  If laws were broken, involved the police – not the internet.

 

Here is one definition of projection: Projection is a defense mechanism that involves taking our own unacceptable qualities or feelings and ascribing them to other people. For example, if you have a strong dislike for someone, you might instead believe that he or she does not like you. Projection works by allowing the expression of the desire or impulse, but in a way that the ego cannot recognize, therefore reducing anxiety.

 

Dr. Marc Monte uses projection by telling someone they come across as ‘angry’, but doesn’t see how he is coming across as ‘angry’ by his own statements.

 

Also, he has never met anyone that has been abused – by his own statements – and yet feels perfectly calm and cool about calling them psychos and whiners. 

 

The truth of the matter is he didn’t like being called out on his unchristian like statements.  In return stated the person that mentions this as ‘angry’ instead.  No doubt this did reduce his anxiety about stating things the way he did.  He can now blow the man off, and not deal with his own sinful comments (coping mechanism).

 

Then Dr. Monte – I guess – somewhat attempted to change his tone and demeanor (I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you), and states he is curious about the specifics the gentleman’s comment.

 

Now, you have to wonder if Dr. Marc Monte lives under a rock…and thus wonder why he made the comments he did.  BUT that would make him clearly look foolish, since his friend Chuck Phelps had just been through all this. 

 

Or

 

Its just deflection because he doesn’t like being called out on the cruel comments that he made.

 

Notice also how the responder states he doesn’t understand the blindly insensitive comments he made towards suffering victims.  Dr. Marc Monte decides at that point to completely ignore the conversation. 

 

What does that show?  Common sense would tell us that he isn’t all that interested in ‘specifics’ is he?

 

Then we see statements do show some serious arrogance.

 

Since he never saw – or heard of – any abuse that automatically means NO abuse happened.

 

BJU (Bob Jones University) brought in an organization ( Godly Response to Abuse in a Christian Environment – GRACE) to investigate these claims, and I would assume he also sees this as waste of time and energy.  No, Dr. Marc Monte didn’t feel the need to call them names, or assumptions about this action.

 

Could be because he realizes that all hell would break loose all over him if he did state that BJU succumbed to the pressures of the world, and brought GRACE in at all.   Yes, I threw in a bit of sarcasm in that last comment.  It’s something they would no doubt parrot about others if it were NOT happening to them.

 

Right after these cruel tweets that sadly Dr. Marc Monte can’t comprehend as insensitive at best he received another response: You never caught a whiff because it was common to get rid of those who shine light on what happened. That's psycho.

People that refuse to own their statements and opinions don’t tend to respond, and as you can see he pretty much mastered that skill.  BJU like the Catholic churches that are in the news again now have this in common.  The Catholics got rid of the priest, and IFB got rid of the victims.  They both got rid of the problem so they didn’t have to deal with it.  They just chose different ways to basically do the same thing.

 

The difference is that the Catholic CHURCH will acknowledge what happened, and are mourning the aftermath.  Worshiper’s of the Catholic church mourn for the victims, and they are upset at a system of cover up.  Yes they are angry, and justifiably so.  Empathy for the victims is the Christian thing to do, because that is what Jesus would ask of us.  The Catholic church will be dealing with this for years, and still have a ways to go.  Dr. Marc Monte doesn’t seem to grasp this needs to be acknowledged and dealt with.

 

Now, BJU News asked him to look at a page that calls out Dr. Monte’s behavior, and ask him if he knew what BJU was even being investigated about.

 

Dr. Monte decided that playing dumb, and instead stated the article had no specifics about BJU in it.   In reality,  Dr. Marc Monte didn’t like the fact it was talking about HIM and his response to abuse victims.  That also is deflection.   The part about asking him if he knew the specifics of the investigation at BJU?  He pretended he didn’t even read that part at all.  The silence is deafening.

 

The intelligent thing to do is be gracious, and admit his error.  Instead, because it wasn’t HIS experience it didn’t happen at all.  Then he felt he must go a step further, and state that people that are abused are ‘psychos’.

 

Dr. Marc Monte that received a honorary Doctorate, ”in 2005 for work related to exposing the dangers of radical Islam in America.”   Yet the poor man can’t even grasp WHY people refer to comments like his as The Baptist Taliban.  Could it be he learned how to ignore these issues by watching them (radical Islam) do the same thing?

 

NOW that is something to truly ponder isn’t it?

Chuck Phelps and the BJU legacy lives on

Chuck Phelp’s legacy lives on.

Another member of Trinity Baptist Church - Joshua Budgett – has been charged with sexual assault of a minor.  Joshua is no stranger to law enforcement, because he has been convicted of it before. 

Sex offender released on bail

Sex Offender Faces New Charges In Underage Assault

What makes this story worse is that Chuck Phelps actually married this man to a lady in his congregation while he was still in a half way house.  They actually married AT the half way house.  She had a small child already, and later had children of their own.

So lets get this straight.  Its okay for a convicted sex offender to ask Chuck Phelps to marry them at the half way house after his conviction (the first one it seems), and to come to church, etc. 

Its not okay for a raped teenager (Tina Anderson) that gave away her baby – fathered by another church member – to come back to school there. 

One would be a bad example for others (especially their children), and the other most won’t know about so its okay.  (head spinning)

Trinity Baptist Church also issued a letter of support for Joshua Budgett’s family.  One sentence seems to stand out for me. 

Besides bearing the hurt of these disgusting allegations, suddenly the primary wage earner removed from their house has caused immediate financial difficulty for (blank) and her children.

This was one of many reasons they did not wish to deal with Ernie Willis either.

Chuck Phelps Enables Woody Allen type of relationship

 Chuck Phelps is now trying to explain the new ‘forgive and forget’ sexual abuse accusation that he blew off.

You remember the scandal that happened to Woody Allen?  He thought it was an awesome idea to shack up with his stepdaughter!

Well I guess we have another Chuck Phelps approved and not concerned about another 'Woody Allen’ saga.  Why do I say that?  Because Chuck Phelp’s story is a comedy of errors of sorts.  I mean Cheryl’s stepfather attempted to do the same thing as Woody Allen did. 

He also said he had no legal obligation to call the police because she was an adult when he learned of the allegations.

The sad part is?  She had younger siblings in the home as well, and Phelps decided to take the family’s word that THEY reported Cheryl’s claims to the police.  Can you imagine? 

In the world of one of Woody Allen’s comedies that could happen.   The fact we don’t live in the land of comedy – where people don’t get hurt?  Chuck Phelps failed his moral obligation to protect those children in the house UNDER the age of 18.

He didn't just blow off Cheryl, but failed her siblings as well.

I have to wonder if we tell people that rob houses if they went to Chuck Phelps house, and they get caught?  Tell Pastor Phelps you called the police before they made the decision to rob him.  I mean if the man is gullible enough to think the family is going to going to report their own molester?  Why wouldn’t he fall for it!

Here is a girl that has gone to his church, and his school.  She tells him about unwanted touching from her stepdad Woody.  Then Pastor Phelps decided since Chuck Phelps himself told him to STOP that Woody the stepdad did!  This is a man that helped raise this young woman, and unlike Ernie Willis he wasn’t brought before the church for (ahem) a compassion plea.  I mean he was unfaithful as well no?

It wasn’t until Cheryl was on vacation with her family, and told her Aunt and Uncle about what was happening at home did ANYONE do anything.  They – thankfully – took her in their home since it seems her church, and AGAIN her own mother wouldn’t protect her.

In the portion of the letter posted on the website, Sheffield said Cheryl told him her stepfather had been touching her at night, starting when she turned 18 and continuing for a year. He said Cheryl's mother was told of the abuse in January 1996, shortly before Cheryl turned 19, and that her mother went to Phelps for help.
Phelps said the letter went on to say that an officer with the Warner police was investigating the case.

Sheffield said yesterday that he had read what Phelps posted on his website and said he remembered writing everything except the part about the police investigating the case.

"That's news to me today," Sheffield said. "That's completely foreign to me."
Sheffield said he wanted to call the police in 1996, but Cheryl was scared and refused to talk to an officer. Instead, Sheffield said, he called DCYF, since he was concerned about Cheryl's younger sister living in the Warner home.

Now, if we read the above?  Phelps is hinting at the fact that Sheffield (the uncle) was going to report what happened to Cheryl, because she had younger siblings in the home. 

You notice that Chuck Phelps himself – knowing about this even before Cheryl’s Uncle  - didn’t think to do that.  Once again Chuck Phelps is trying to say that it’s the police’s fault.  It’s not Chuck Phelps that should have called, because according to him he had no legal obligation to do so. 

The letter that Phelps posted on his website?  It wasn’t even sent to Chuck Phelps to begin with.  Another thing he attempts to take credit for receiving:

Sheffield also said he didn't send that letter to Phelps, but wrote it in response to letters he said Cheryl had been receiving from friends at Trinity Baptist. After Cheryl moved to California, letters began arriving at Sheffield's house, "questioning why she was leaving God, leaving the church," Sheffield said. "It was all being blamed on her by them."
He said the person to whom he sent the letter must have given it to Phelps.

This tends to line up with what Tina Anderson was saying from the beginning as well.  How they were the one and true church – how everyone else is not doing it right, etc.  Ahem.  I'm sure Chuck Phelps will also state that he had no idea about the letters - which would be a lie.

Sheffield said he also had a phone conversation with Phelps either shortly before or after he mailed the letter. He said he asked Phelps why he didn't report the allegations to the police, and "what I remember him saying is he did not have any obligation, any legal standing to report this," citing confidentiality rules protecting a pastor's conversations with church members, Sheffield said.

While Phelps said yesterday that he never instructed Cheryl to forgive and forget, "I'll never forget that," Sheffield said, recalling his conversation with the pastor. "He used the words 'forgive and forget.' That it did no good to destroy that family."

Tina was thrown under the bus for the sake of Ernie Willis’s family as well.  There was no reason his family needed to be destroyed, and so they sent Tina away to have her baby among strangers.

Now.  Seriously.  Can you imagine any pastor ‘condoning’ a Woody Allen type of relationship within their church?  I guess in Chuck Phelps eyes he didn’t.  I mean he told him to stop, and according to Chuck Phelps he did.  According to Cheryl?  Well, I guess that doesn’t matter.  We must not destroy that family.

We also don’t need to make sure that stepdad Woody doesn’t go on to ‘touch’ anyone else in that family – well besides his lovely enabling wife.

Church’s like the ones that Phelps ministers to?  They are ones that hold family above the people within it. 

They are ones that use rose colored glasses to see the ‘best’ only.  They refuse to deal with the dirty that happens in this world. 

They are part of the reason that people leave the church, give up on God, try to drown their pain with drugs and booze.  Why?  They need to deal with the dirty parts, and find a way of living with them in order to heal. 

Forgive and Forget?  Phelps says:

"That is language that is being suggested by a special-interest group that publicly criticizes independent Baptist churches to generate media attention," Phelps, now a pastor at a Baptist church in Indianapolis, said in a statement. "That allegation is a bald-faced lie."

Malachi 2:7 “For the lips of a priest ought to preserve knowledge, because he is the messenger of the LORD Almighty and people seek instruction from his mouth. 8 But you have turned from the way and by your teaching have caused many to stumble; you have violated the covenant with Levi,” says the LORD Almighty. 9 “So I have caused you to be despised and humiliated before all the people, because you have not followed my ways but have shown partiality in matters of the law.”

Your play on words does NOT make your actions better.  I’m not part of a ‘special interest group’, and it doesn’t take brain surgeon to realize you once again have shown your proven track record of betrayal.

Breaking Covenant Through Injustice
Malachi2:17 You have wearied the LORD with your words.
“How have we wearied him?” you ask.
By saying, “All who do evil are good in the eyes of the LORD, and he is pleased with them”
or “Where is the God of justice?"

Partiality in matters of law God sees.  It was so plain others see it as well.  You don’t enable a Woody Allen type of stepfather to stay in the home with other children.  Their safety and wellbeing is more important than the marriage.  It was evil and even children can point it out to you.

Reference Article, “Pastor fires back in new abuse case”

9 “So I have caused you to be despised and humiliated before all the people, because you have not followed my ways but have shown partiality in matters of the law.”

Chasm of Forgive and Forget!

Chuck Phelps at Tina Anderson's Trial attempting to get
sympathy for being thrown under the bus.

Sadly, it has been brought out that a second victim of Chuck Phelps, and his time at Trinity Baptist Church in Concord NH has been brought forward.

Once again Chuck Phelps is working with his lawyer to make sure his response to this second accusation is not seen as pure damage control.

Watch the chasm again of Forgive and Forget.

ChucklesTravels has the victim's uncle response.  The Concord Monitor wrote a story about, but they tend not to allow non subscribers read it.  I placed a copy in my documents section online if you would like to read it. 

Chuck Phelps of course has his response online once again.  You can click to enlarge.

Phelps Excuse for new victim page 1

Phelps Excuse for new victim page 2

I'm sure as with the Tina Anderson story more things will surface as time goes along.

The one thing that is similar between the two stories is that Dr. Chuck Phelps is more concerned about defending himself, and calls this a 'second sad story'.  He makes a point - once again - of the age of the victim.  He then claims the abuses stopped after he was informed of this.

This victim - unlike Tina - moved in with her Aunt and Uncle after informing them during a family vacation what had been happening at home.  The victim's mother told her brother (the uncle) that it had been dealt with - within the church.  The uncle contacted the police in the area, because she had two younger siblings still living them.  He also contacted Chuck Phelps who basically told him it was confidential, and the victim needed to forgive and forget.

Brian Fuller, current pastor of Trinity Baptist Church has removed the stepfather from worship, and other activities since learning about this second case.  Something of course that never entered the mind of Chuck Phelps during Tina's nor the new victim allegations at the time.  It seems that Chuck Phelps likes to forgive and forget.

Chuck Phelps also stated he contacted child services and the police once he was informed of the abuses, due to there being two other minors in the home.  The police claim no such record was filed.

Chuck Phelps now taking credit for conviction

Below is a letter that Chuck Phelps has on his website now.  He is basically attempting to take credit for the conviction that he fought very hard not to help happen in the first place.  The quoted portions are my notes.  His entitlement and diversions is amazing to me.  No humbleness is shown.  Its sad.

A Verdict Reached – Ernie Willis Guilty

The trail of Ernie Willis took place in Concord, NH, from May 23 to 28, 2011.  After a week of hearing witnesses, a jury found Ernie Willis Guilt on all counts placed before them.  There are those who may be curious about my reactions.

I am relieved.  Tina Anderson had a right to seek justice, and she is no doubt thankful that Ernie Willis has been convicted.  Ernie Willis broke the law.  No one has ever denied this.  When Tina made allegations concerning Ernie Willis in 1997, her mother and I reported the matter as a crime to the Concord police department (a fact now affirmed under oath by me, her mother, and the Concord police investigator assigned to the case).  Unfortunately, the Concord police were not diligent to follow-up on the reports given to them.  Further, it was affirmed under oath by me and a Concord police officer that I called the New Hampshire Division of Youth and Family Services and reported Tina’s situation as was required by the law.  Sadly, this report did not bring the immediate follow-up that is expected norm today.

If you note from the trial? 

Chuck Phelps and Christine Leaf both made it clear that Tina made no ‘allegations’ of rape to them – the purpose of the trial.  They both repeatedly reminded everyone she never said she was ‘raped’.  It was a ‘convert dating relationship’, and Phelps even noted on camera that he didn’t consider it rape.  By calling this a ‘covert dating relationship’ does infer that he felt it was ‘consensual’, and not a crime at least in his eyes. 

What Chuck Phelps is leaving out is they do not have record of him contacting the police, but do have a record of him contacting New Hampshire's child services.  The police officer he mentions above contacted him – after children’s services reported to the officer, and Phelps never returned the calls.  Chuck Phelps also needs to realize that he had a ethic and moral obligation – besides his duty lawfully – to follow up if he KNEW for sure Ernie Willis broke the law – as he claims no one denied.  He needs to apologize for his lack of ‘diligent follow-up’ as well, that should have been expected to be ‘norm’ now and at the time. 

At my recommendation Mrs. Leaf took Tina to see a licensed medical professional who examined her in private and never called the police (a fact also established by the medical professional’s testimony in court).

The facts posted on this website since the April 8th 20/20 program aired have now been stated under oath.  On Tuesday, May 24, 2011, the court determined that I could share what had previously been confidential information which I received from Mr. Willis many years ago.  The release of this information no doubt played a very important part in bringing these matters to justice.

Broad Brushing? Seriously?!

I'm not broad brushing, I'm NOT broad brushing....

  

This is a perfect example of the results of being inconsiderate and broad-brushing and passing judgment on an entire group of people because of the actions of a few.

I can see the objection to having all IFB churches painted with the same broad brush. What I find interesting, though, is that IFB churches are simultaneously claiming “We’re independent of each other; we have nothing to do with *them!*” and “Don’t malign all IFBs.” If we truly are independent of one another, then it shouldn’t be a “black eye” so to speak on all IFB churches when several are caught in this web of abuse and deceit. Those IFB churches who are truly God-fearing should be rejoicing that these things are being brought out into the open and justice is finally being served.

I guess I had a bit of an epiphany last night.  The term, ‘broad-brushing’ came coming to my mind.


I think we may have all seen the defensiveness, and outright anger some are showing over the broad brushing as they claim is happening because a news program pointed out some of the ‘independent’ churches can act cultish.

The two quotes I have shown above are both IFB members, and they have a completely different approaches and views of what is happening to their world’s once the Tina Anderson trial started.

How often have you seen me write about the ‘generalizations’ that are seen in the church?  The boxes that they want people to live in?  The biblical roles that should not be stepped out of?   SOMEONE has to be in charge! type of statements?

You will follow the party line they have in mind for women or you will be labeled that flying purple people eater – the dreaded feminist!

If you can’t grasp that there are firm roles for men and women?  If you believe in equality between the sexes – you buy into the genderless blobs of ‘sameness’.

They have been broad brushing for like what? FOREVER?!

They broad brush what men should be – otherwise they are ‘feminized’.

They broad brush what women should be like – otherwise they are worldly feminists!

If you can’t handle being a follower of complementarism, and rather be egalitarian?  WELL you buy into the men and women being the ‘same’ with no differences.

You can’t appreciate God’s purpose for us, and your emotional response shows how you brought into the worldly view of things……

WHAT no one has seen the ‘broad-brushing’?  (giggles) 

It’s strange how they feel attacked, and broad brushed when this 20/20 program started to speak about Chuck Phelps, Christine Leaf, and of course what happened to Tina Anderson.  How Chuck had a letter sent to 20/20 instead of being interviewed, and it was used – but he wasn’t allowed to give HIS side of things!  How we don’t like to be labeled as a ‘cult’, or ‘cultish’!  How those things don’t happen in MY church!

Its strange how people within certain faith circles make their claim to fame for broad brushing others all the time, and yet get defensive when it is turned around the other way! 

WELL as they see it turned around anyway.  I believe most people have enough common sense to realize not all churches are like the ones you see on the 20/20 program.  Heck it was even noted during the program, but I think their agitation level was to high to see it or hear it.



The churches shown on the 20/20 program broad brush all the time.  Organizations like CBMW broad brush all the time.  People that have very rigid ideas on how your faith life needs to be lived at times broad brush if you don’t live up to their expectations.  It honestly reminds me of dirty politics.

I wonder if they will see how they broad brush people all the time, and remember what that feels like in order to learn from that experience!

They are upset over the word, ‘cult’.  Hmm.  Do you ever think they will see the broad strokes they use towards others on a regular basis?  I sure hope so, but unfortunately I doubt I will see it in my lifetime.

Broad Brushing?  Seriously?!  I wonder if they have ever heard the term, 'projection bias'?

Playing with words, and their meanings…

Since the dust has begun to settle around the Tina Anderson Rape trial we have all been able to look at things more closely.

I had mentioned on my blog talk radio interview with Jocelyn Andersen, and Cindy Kunsman that I questioned what Chuck Phelps had actually told the police when he claimed he reported the rape.  In most cases in life presentation is key to getting your message across.



Let’s take a portion of his online website for his defense (Chuck Phelps):

I immediately complied with the statutes of the State of New Hampshire by reporting the situation to Officer Jim Cross of the Concord Police Department.  I also reported to Erin Dickson of the New Hampshire Division of Children, Youth, and Families.

It was at my recommendation thirteen years ago, that Tina's mother, Mrs. Christine Leaf, also reported this relationship to law enforcement.  Even though Tina begged her mother not to report, Mrs. Leaf did report this sexual relationship with Mr. Willis to Lieutenant Gagnon of the Concord Police Department.

The Concord Police never contacted me further about the reports or about the welfare or the whereabouts of Tina Dooley Anderson.  They also never contacted Mrs. Leaf for any investigation or additional information.  There was certainly no intent to cover up the allegations, or hide this 16 year-old girl.  I have always been committed to a police of compliance and partnership with official investigations of any kind.

Unfortunately, what Pastor Chuck Phelps DOESN’T say was he was informed that he must make a report in writing at the time of his phone call.

He called the police and ‘reported’ the rape as a consensual sexual relationship.  Basically, he didn’t follow through on all compliance needs to file a report.   So his ‘numerous’ reports is not factual.  It was more like phone calls to say this happened, and didn’t follow through with the rest of the obligations he was told about.

I was trying to find a word that matches how he seems to be approaching things.  He will say things that would seem obvious to most regarding what he means, and yet what he means is something else completely.  The best term I could come up with was ‘double entendre’.  It ‘is a figure of speech in which a spoken phrase is devised to be understood in either of two ways. Often the first (more obvious) meaning is straightforward, while the second meaning is less so: often risqué or ironic.’

Phelps knew he had to do the ‘report’ in writing, but he never did.  That is the type of report he knew the police and investigators had in mind, but figured the layman would never figure that out.

I believe at trial he made the excuse that he never received the paperwork, and yet again we see he never followed up either.  Now tell me does that show, ‘committed to a policy of compliance and partnership with official investigations’?

They Turned Out Despite THEM!

I sitting here praying this morning for Tina Anderson, and all those that are watching and waiting for the jury to come back.  Will there be justice? 

I think some justice has happened even before this trial started.  Willis will go to jail no matter what the jury comes back with today. 

I pray for a different type of justice – that people will open their eyes and hearts to those families that don’t give their children a chance.

What I saw at this trial – among other things – is adults at the time trying to SHAMEFULLY take ‘credit’ for the awesome adults that Tina and Tom turned out to be.  It amazes me because their ‘safe adults’ in childhood were just as dangerous as their stepfather Daniel Leaf at the time.

These adults – Tina and Tom – turned out despite the outrageous conduct, behavior, and ghastly beliefs the adults in their life's made them endure.

The church’s ignorance is killing children, and if we are lucky enough to have some survive?  It wasn’t due to the adults in their life's – they survived despite them.  Can we get REAL for a moment!  Its shameful that people TRY to take credit where CREDIT isn’t due!

Tina and her brother Tom never had a chance.  It is their faith, and their push to have a life later on that should teach others.  Yet you have people like Christine Leaf – their mother – that use their mostly awful judgment as a parent to say it wasn't all that bad – look at how they turned out!

The truth is they turned out well despite their mother.

Prayers for Tina Anderson Today!

Prayers for Tina Anderson as they start the trial Monday Morning!

Not in my CHURCH!

I was doing a little reading the other night, and I came across the blog called Duh Daily Scoop. The author reprinted an article by By Valerie Strauss of the Washington Post. The article was called, "A Call for Clergy to Spotlight Domestic Abuse".



Glenn F. Ivey is a State's Attorney for Maryland, and he wanted to get out the word about domestic violence. As we know October is Domestic Violence Month in the United States, and he made a couple of calls to the churches so they could take the lead. He figured it would be a 'slam dunk' as they call it. It will be an easy sell! HOW hard could this be right?

"But no, I heard things like: 'Brother, it's a little hot to talk about that one.' Or, 'Well, I'll take it up, and we'll form a task force and get back to you.' . . . And then there are churches where the response to the victim is, 'You have to stick it out.' "

Glenn Ivey is a man that wishes to help the 'weaker vessel' within churches, and the church basically turned their backs on the State of Maryland, Glenn Ivey, and women that he wishes to help. What a 'holy' slap in the face huh? We aren't talking about a few little small towns, or neighbors here after all! We are talking about an entire STATE within the USA, and their churches decided that domestic violence really wasn't a topic they wanted to deal with right now.

The article goes on to say:

On Sunday, gatherings will be held at churches -- including Ebenezer AME Church in Fort Washington -- and community-based organizations across the region for "Project Safe Sunday," an initiative aimed at getting people to talk about the sometimes-taboo subject of domestic violence. President Obama has designated October "National Domestic Violence Awareness Month."

The goal is to help people understand the serious and complicated problem and to spur them to learn how to help themselves and others get out of an abusive relationship.

Mr. Ivey speaks about one of his revelations about how people just can't seem to approach this subject when news came out about Chris Brown and Rihanna. We all know they talked about it, but how they wrap their minds around the reality of domestic abuse? It seems that took him by surprise.

In another Washington Post article Glenn Ivey was quoted with saying:

At least initially, a large contingent of people thought that Rihanna was guilty until proven innocent. Not only were they willing to defend Brown, but they also seemed convinced that she must have done something to "deserve" being beaten. Even after a tabloid released photographs of Rihanna showing extensive bruises and swelling, some persisted in defending Brown. Her decision to reunite with him after the photos were published was seen in some quarters as confirmation that she had somehow wronged him from the beginning.

He was speaking to a many of middle school students about this crime, and he was surprised at the reaction of the children. It was the same, and the stats, stories and whatever else he could show them was basically lost to his audience of children.

The surprising comment that he made finally got these children to stop and think for a moment!

Finally, exasperated, I blurted out, "Do you think Barack would ever hit Michelle like that?"

Everyone in the room froze. One student weakly suggested that "Michelle is big enough to fight back," but I knew I had them then.

"Even if she were a foot shorter, can you ever imagine Barack hitting Michelle?" I pressed on: "Is there anything she could possibly do that would lead you to think she deserves to get beaten?"

At that point, the debate was over. Putting hands on Michelle Obama was somehow unthinkable.

Mr. Ivey commented about how the domestic violence issue needed someone like Michelle Obama to step up and support it. He also mentioned that maybe this was to much of a hot topic even for her. No matter what your political party lines are can you imagine the impact that would have? The fact that domestic violence rips people's lives apart, and that isn't falling along gender lines either! Generations of families dealing with this, and for some? Domestic violence is far too controversial to make that commitment.

He closes:

But this sort of campaign is clearly needed. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that about 1,200 deaths occur each year as the result of domestic violence. Nearly 2 million attacks annually don't result in death but can be nearly as devastating -- such as what happened to Yvette Cade of Clinton in October 2005, when her estranged husband set her on fire. The Chris Brown/Rihanna case is the sort of domestic violence that I see nearly every day in my job as a prosecutor.

On top of all this, the ripple effects of violence continue to rip apart families and distort young minds. Many of the killers that come through my courthouse have a history of domestic violence in their homes. It will take powerful forces to break that generational curse.

For years groups have sought to reduce domestic violence nationwide. We would all benefit from the credibility and charisma that the first lady would bring to these efforts. Perhaps with her help, we could reverse recent trends and reduce domestic violence in America.

I have to wonder if it will take someone like Michelle Obama for people to truly stop and listen. It seems to me that the church is afraid to use our most powerful source GOD as the motivator!

I see people searching for the grey area so they really don't have to deal with the meat of the issue. Recently I wrote about one of the red herrings that stop them, and that would be the 'authority' within the home.

I truly feel people are afraid of opening this can of worms.

Its a can of worms that God would wish to be dealt with, but we humans use scripture as reasons we don't.

You also see this in history all the time.

From Bitter waters to Sweet mentions how Christians used scripture to justify slavery for example! We can't even imagine that today, but it was accepted and believed!

A Wife's Submission talks about Nate Phelps, and how his well known father Fred Phelps uses 1 Corinthians 11 as a tool of terror towards the women in his family. How he can use this power to take away their salvation. Nate Phelps has now completely turned his back on his faith.

Its just like the stories you find about the sexual abuse within the church that Because It Matters brings to our attention. People are so taken back and hurt by the stories they accuse others of 'judging' and remind them that they are a NICE person. They are a man of God. They just can't face they are a fallen man of God. The accusers are normally placed on the hot seat at that point as people search for flaws in their character to use as the excuse. They just can't place the fact that this person can do this using their own freewill. You can't heal broken people if you can't face the fact they are broken to begin with! IT doesn't happen in MY church...afterall!

We have all heard the sermons and read the articles about commitment. How we have covenants that we are fulfill. Men and Women that are abused are asked to fulfill a commitment and covenant by themselves, because their abusers aren't capable of that. What makes it harder is that society it seems can't seem to OWN that fact that they are not capable either. I will admit society is further along in loads of aspects when it comes to the 'world' versus domestic violence within the church!

Sadly, I think Glenn F. Ivey does have a point. It will take someone like Michelle Obama to start the push for the world to see the reality of this sin.

Its not due to being 'provoked' as people love to say.

Its due to two broken people that have separate issues they need to face and deal with.

Sadly, in alot of cases? They may never see it, because the world refuses to. The 'healthy' ones can't point it out, and help because its just to controversial. I guess its easier to blame the broken people. It would be to UN-politically correct to truly look deeper. The next time I hear, "That would never happen in MY church!" I hope they aren't Maryland! If they are I wonder if they will go as far as to ask about the invitation from Glenn Ivey! You know! Check to see if the denial is NOT in YOUR church! I can't believe Maryland is the one and only!

Westboro Baptist Church - Jury Awards Father $10.9M

No matter what side of the war are you on I think most everyone would feel what this man and his church did was wrong.

I for one hope this lawsuit will stop them.

When I listened to this man he sounds like an abuser himself.