Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Chasm of Forgive and Forget!

Posted by Hannah at 6:39 AM

Chuck Phelps at Tina Anderson's Trial attempting to get
sympathy for being thrown under the bus.
Sadly, it has been brought out that a second victim of Chuck Phelps, and his time at Trinity Baptist Church in Concord NH has been brought forward.

Once again Chuck Phelps is working with his lawyer to make sure his response to this second accusation is not seen as pure damage control.

Watch the chasm again of Forgive and Forget.

ChucklesTravels has the victim's uncle response.  The Concord Monitor wrote a story about, but they tend not to allow non subscribers read it.  I placed a copy in my documents section online if you would like to read it. 

Chuck Phelps of course has his response online once again.  You can click to enlarge.
Phelps Excuse for new victim page 1
Phelps Excuse for new victim page 2

I'm sure as with the Tina Anderson story more things will surface as time goes along.

The one thing that is similar between the two stories is that Dr. Chuck Phelps is more concerned about defending himself, and calls this a 'second sad story'.  He makes a point - once again - of the age of the victim.  He then claims the abuses stopped after he was informed of this.

This victim - unlike Tina - moved in with her Aunt and Uncle after informing them during a family vacation what had been happening at home.  The victim's mother told her brother (the uncle) that it had been dealt with - within the church.  The uncle contacted the police in the area, because she had two younger siblings still living them.  He also contacted Chuck Phelps who basically told him it was confidential, and the victim needed to forgive and forget.

Brian Fuller, current pastor of Trinity Baptist Church has removed the stepfather from worship, and other activities since learning about this second case.  Something of course that never entered the mind of Chuck Phelps during Tina's nor the new victim allegations at the time.  It seems that Chuck Phelps likes to forgive and forget.

Chuck Phelps also stated he contacted child services and the police once he was informed of the abuses, due to there being two other minors in the home.  The police claim no such record was filed.

Chasm of Forgive and Forget
The above picture is what is called a chasm.

Definition of Chasm:
  • a yawning fissure or deep cleft in the earth's surface; gorge. 
  • a sundering breach in relations, as a divergence of opinions, beliefs, etc., between persons or groups.  
 I think we can use two parts of the definition today. 

The FIRST is the visual to make a point.  It seems to me that some have victims make the leap from:

reporting an offense(Rock on left), and then a quick jump to forgiveness(Rock on Right).

The part in the center they try to avoid?  That is dealing with what happened.  Talking about the wounded part.  Showing you the path to healing.

Chuckles Travels also posted a letter for a poor clueless pastor.  Here is a portion of what was written.

First of all these people who have full blown bitterness are in serious trouble. This is not my opinion, it is God’s. Bitterness is a root! A root is a source. Where does the roots dwell? Under the surface of the soil. Can everybody see it’s root system? No, because it’s hidden under the soil or surface. The same is true with bitterness in a person’s soul. It is a hidden element that lies under the surface, and out of it springs up anger and other negative emotions against others and against the circumstances around us. People who have a root of bitterness find it easy to get upset over things that other’s are doing around them. It’s like a brewing fountain that lies beneath the surface, waiting to fuel something that is on the surface.

Countless women who are raped develop awful bitter spirits that affect and infect people around them. No one doubts that these women were hurt. It’s not because they were raped, but because they allowed the trauma to get to them, they nurse the bitterness for years. Many women are in bondage today because they became bitter under the surface about what was done to them years ago, and then refuse to forgive.
You notice this pastor's chasm?  Their bitter because they allowed the trauma to get to them.  You were suppose to jump from left to right - forgive and forget.  I'm sure we have all heard the sayings, 'leave it at the cross' as another one.

Don't deal with what happened - forget it.  Then all will be well in the world!

It seems to me their way of dealing with things is shame others into doing it their way.  Its easier to call someone bitter than it is to deal with the roots of the wounded.  Thankfully, there are people that aren't so cowardly.

If you run into such a cowardly type?  Please try to find support elsewhere.

No one doubts that these women were hurt. It’s not because they were raped, but because they allowed the trauma to get to them, they nurse the bitterness for years.

I feel sorry for this pastor. He has not learned about grace. He has not learned about compassion. He just assumes he 'knows' things that quite honestly he has no way of knowing.

There is a term that people use that is to be descriptive of how rape effects them.  The term is called, 'soul murder'.  

People like the pastor above would remind you that is not possible, because they like to look past the term 'descriptive'.  Its sad that they must take things so 'literally', and not truly grasp what all victims deal with.

Is there help and support so that you can find a way to live with what happened to you?  Yes, there is support and help.  I would recommend anyone search that out as well.

RAINN is one such organization that can put you in contact with someplace close to you. G.R.A.C.E. is another organization that is faith based.

I'm sure there are people that nurse bitterness for years.  Unfortunately, I don't think the pastor in question realizes his arrogance is just shadowing his own. 

Independent Fundamental Baptist and other places of worship that use these type of chasms?   They are to full of pride to admit their chasm of 'forget and forget' isn't what God calls them to counsel victims.

You can also sense their projection of themselves onto others when they chant things like:

People who have a root of bitterness find it easy to get upset over things that other’s are doing around them. It’s like a brewing fountain that lies beneath the surface, waiting to fuel something that is on the surface.

He seems to think the 'tears' he saw in Chuck Phelps eyes in his company should be good enough for everyone to just 'forgive and forget' his errors.  IFB are real quick to have others repent, but it seems they don't need to repent to the proper parties.  They just repent to their friend.   They shouldn't have to model what they ask of others I guess.

Dr. Phelps has been very humble, as he cried in my presence last fall, pouring out his hurt for both the Willis family and for Mrs. Anderson. Tina is not a 15 year old girl. Her memories have no doubt been influenced by bitter, angry people like Jocelyn Zichterman and perhaps you, whoever you are.

Does Dr. Phelps realize his 'friends' are making him look worse?  I mean the man didn't even feel the need to do his homework on her age.  She was 15 at the time she was raped, and 16 when she gave birth.  The pastor is attempting to shame the author of the blog due to fact he doesn't know WHOM they are.  The double standard was nor did he identify himself either.

Sadly, its people like this pastor that are bitter.  They are angry that people don't use the forgive and forget chasm they feel is best.  Cowards normally do project their own flawed characteristics onto others.

They can't be bothered with the true help, compassion, and ministering.

They will not be told they are wrong either.

Arrogance and pride tends to do that to you.

It seems the chasm of 'forgive and forget' is coming back to haunt Dr. Chuck Phelps once again.

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Lewis on 1:37 PM said...

It's infuriating.

Hannah on 8:05 AM said...

I so agree Lewis.

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