Now you get 'juice bars and skinny jeans’ at church. Seriously? That’s all you heard?

The church claims they hear the Millennial generation, but are they listening?  They haven’t been listening for generations now!  Sadly, they just think they are.

I’m NOT a millennial, but I would be guilty of the generation that gave birth to them.  Yet, I can understand their complaints.  Our generation raised complaints, and we were ignored and spoken down to as well. 

I realize some of the older generation – like mine – will throw out the stereotype about the generations ‘issues’.  WELL all generations had them, and some young people walk away from church….and come back when children are born. 

Once they leave again after that?  Chances are pretty good its not over all the labels or issues that the present generation is handed.  Its normally MUCH larger than that.  To me?  That’s where they miss the boat…

Things have been going downhill since the 1980’s – if not sooner.  I guess its our children’s chance to have a running start, and bang into that brick wall now. 

Acknowledge and Deal with the Changes in Culture

When you don’t listen to the millennial generation’s parents?  You can be pretty much secure in knowing their children will figure it out as well.  Problems don’t go away when you ignore them, but tend to get worse.

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.

In the present culture you have the internet, and in my generation you had the start of cable tv (when I was teen I believe).  Our worlds were starting to open up, and come to find all the messages you told us about being the ONLY one that felt that way?  Hmm.  I guess NOT so much!  That’s why we are questioning you….

Your words had power when we were isolated, but now that the world as opened up?  We find others that realize some of the things you say don’t make sense either. 

For me personally at times the church’s viewpoint was almost superstitious. You need to keep sheltered, because otherwise you will be contaminated.  That doesn’t say much for our strength in faith.

You have to act a certain way, dress a certain, worship a certain way…so as we see it the church created an environment at times that made people compelled to hide sin.  You can’t show that ‘contaminated’ side.   If you point that out?  We were told this church attitude isn’t there, and we are seeing things or making things up so we can sin.  It’s a smoke screen!

Modesty is more than a dress code!

The Modesty Train has left the station, since we know summertime in the USA is here.  I get so sick and tired of all the speeches on what to wear so you don’t cause men to stumble.  Most of the time you see mature women dressing appropriately in church, or elsewhere.  You also have most men that can handle the visual deal just fine.  Is this the only thing they have to say about modesty?

Sadly, other portions of the modesty definition are completely ignored.  I have a video clip of a pastor showing immodest behavior, and he feels he is justified and entitled to use it.

Pastor Jim Standridge is acting like a teenager – or toddler throwing a hissy fit.  Telling people from his pulpit JUST what he thinks about things in order to humiliate them…and then calls it love.  His conceit is showing, and he tells the world he doesn’t care.  Nice.  No doubt the man thinks he is the clothing police as well.

Modesty is more than a dress code

Modesty also includes attitude.  When you are reading or being taught something, and you know the teacher is using shaming language?  That isn’t modest.  Its very immodest in fact.

When you have a preacher up in the pulpit reminding everyone how important they are, and how they are to be revered?  They are being boastful, and that is also immodest.

Your delivery towards others shows the attitude, and if you have a stinky attitude?  You can be wearing the most modesty attire on earth…and you are still being immodest.

Philippians 2:³ Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ⁴ Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ⁵ Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,^{[a] 6} who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,⁷ but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant,^[b] being born in the likeness of men.

I remember as a little girl, and going to visit my grandmother.  She would push and push for me to put dresses on.  She felt it was the thing to do if you are to be a proper young lady.  I remember putting on dresses to go to church, and my brother and I were honored guests that week. 

What always bothered me was their speech. 

Consider if your language shows respect for those around you.

They saw nothing right with the world, and matter of fact they loved to nit pick almost every aspect of what people did – right or wrong.  It wasn’t just the ladies that did this either.  You heard it from the pulpit as well. 

They made some good points at times, and other times to me they were just being mean and vicious. They did things better than the world, and their proper attire, proper way of worship, bible study, etc.  I never quite understood HOW they felt they were coming across with humility and humbleness. 

They would dress in the most modest ways, but I’m sorry they were NOT modest!  Lets be honest here – it was conceit!

The proper girl’s dress, or the proper men’s suit and tie wasn’t a show of proper Christlike behavior when you go around with the attitude of ‘Thank GOD we are NOT like THOSE people!’.

When you point this out?  Most of the time you are received with diversion tactics.  How we are to not to be like the ‘world’, and how we are to be obedient, and maybe my biggest problem is I would rather go with my sinful nature than to follow God’s ways!

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).

Key point here is renewing of your mind.  Rules, and ugly attitudes don’t do that.  Being defensive doesn’t do that.  Informing others they are being ‘worldly’ when they don’t agree with something doesn’t do that either.  Matter of fact – its immodest.

Galatians 5:¹³ You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh^[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love. ¹⁴ For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”^[b]15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

1. Galatians 5:13 In contexts like this, the Greek word forflesh (sarx) refers to the sinful state of human beings, often presented as a power in opposition to the Spirit; also in verses 16, 17, 19 and 24; and in 6:8.

(6:⁸ Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.)

Modesty is about acknowledgement, humility and grace…

In other words, the attitude a Christian should reflect is one that focuses on the needs and interests of others. Without question, that does not come naturally to us.

You don’t justify your immodest behavior, and then wonder WHY you can’t keep your attendance numbers high…and the youth don’t go to church once they are old enough to say NO! 

Studies have shown they might get new people from other churches, or the children of church members.  Majority of their numbers come from those sources.  That’s not growth, and it should be a red flag!  Their pride refuses to acknowledge their immodest behavior!

Jesus – his way is attractive, welcoming, and loving.  That doesn’t mean you don’t get rebuked, but it is done with the proper attitude.  Sadly, churches today to often do NOT reflect this.  They would rather listen to the ‘amen’ crowd then take the speck out of their own eye.  This also does not reflect a modest stature.

While they give others speeches on how men are visual, and how women cause their brothers to stumble…people are asking them about their attitude and delivery.  People get the response that its more YOUR problem than their CONTENT or DELIVERY!  This also is immodest. 

They know something is wrong, and when you try to point it out?  They won’t receive criticism, rebuke, or even consider that other’s may have point.  They are told ‘they just want to do life by the world’s standard!”  Funny how they never see that response as reflective of them.  This is being defensive…also immodest.

They do not make themselves approachable, and they can be kind if you stay clear of certain subjects or points of views. 

¹⁶ So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. ¹⁷ For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever^[c] you want. ¹⁸ But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
¹⁹ The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality,impurity and debauchery; ²⁰ idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹ and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Modesty in behavior exists when people act appropriately in specific settings. It includes being polite and respectful to others.  Christians are seen as intolerant, because their behavior or words show that they are not tolerant, polite, nor respectful.  Yes, you can present your opinion without coming across as nasty.  When you can’t do that?  Its immodest.

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴ Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵ Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. ²⁶ Let us not become conceited,provoking and envying each other.

Pastor throwing a hissy fit, and shows immodest behavior

Here is a pastor that thinks to much of himself, and his message.  He does NOT follow the proper way of approaching something he feels is sinning (Matt. 18), and decides to humiliate him in front of a crowd.  Once the pastor’s juices get flowing he also moves on to others in the crowd, and points out what he sees as their errors.

He states he did everything right.  Jesus wouldn’t do it this way.  When he is called on his misbehavior (news interview) he justifies himself, and says it is love.  What he can’t grasp is his behavior, attitude is immodest… his dress doesn’t mean a damn thing if the rest of definition isn’t present.

The loving thing to do is call these pastor’s out on their immodest behavior.  Chances are they won’t receive it, because they are the only ones that are suppose to do that.  How due to their position they are above all that, and you should ‘submit’ to them. 

HELLO!  Modesty is more than a dress code!

Men are Visual. Women are Vessels

I don’t know about most, but I can’t stand messages that come across about how men are so weak minded, and sex craved.  To me one of the lessons we hear preached from time to time tends to encourage this aspect, and they basically are enabling lust to happen. 

Lust to me is the same thing as coveting.  There is a huge difference between admiring a pretty person, and allowing your mind to imagine how they would be in bed.  Today it seems they tend to blur those things, and fantasy turns into the norm.  That isn’t what the bible says at all. 

We also tend to over exaggerate this aspect in life, because the ones don’t wish to speak about choices in life – tend to tell you its ‘everywhere’ and they can’t escape it.  There is no possible reason you are look at them as possibly weak minded in this aspect, because its always the other parties fault.

Romans 8:5 For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.

There is a huge difference between admiring someone, or the ‘OH BOY to much FLESH for me’ moments.  Then you have those that use that ‘to much flesh for me’ parts of life, and twist them into a lust fest.  The author I speak about uses that moment, and encourages wife’s to allow their husband’s to use them as a vehicle to get all those thoughts out of their mind.  What he doesn’t seem to realize is that doesn’t eliminate the lust, but just lets them have a bit of fun with it.  Here is what I’m talk about:

Understand his appetites, and free his body. Your husband’s two primary physical appetites are for food and sex. He will appreciate it whenever you make the effort to prepare delicious and nutritious food for him. Understand the pressure he feels sexually as a man: Men are wired to respond to visual stimulation, and must deal with seeing sexual imagery often in our society today. Your husband can’t escape it, so he must try to resist the temptation of it while fighting to remain faithful to you as God calls him to be. Your husband needs sexual release often in order to be emotionally healthy. Don’t withhold sex from him when there’s conflict between you. Instead, work on communicating with each other through sex, which will calm your husband, bond him closer to you, and motivate him to work on your marriage more. Let him know what you need him to do to help you enjoy sex with him more, and help him learn how to improve your sex life together. Do whatever you can to make yourself physically attractive, such as by taking good care of your body through exercise and eating well and dressing attractively both in public and at home. If your husband refuses to have sex with you, seek counseling to figure out how to solve the problem.  - How to Learn What Your Husband Isn’t Telling You

(My first comment is the husband doesn’t need water as well? (laughs) look at the second sentence about the primary physical appetites!  Okay – moving on….)

What is lust?

The dictionary definition of lust is "1) intense or unrestrained sexual craving, or 2) an overwhelming desire or craving."
or
Lust is having a self-absorbed desire for an object, person, or experience.

The bible speaks against this, and not once in the bible does it speak of using another person to satisfy it.   It also never says that someone else is responsible for you coveting something that isn’t yours.

Jack Schaap Scandal and Heresy

I wrote an article a little while back called, Jack Schaap Fired and then Exposed.  Since that time loyal IFB’ers (Independent Fundamental Baptist) have followed their pattern of the 4 steps of denial that Bruce Gerencser described very well in his article,  The IFB River Called Denial.  They must learn to deal better with this Jack Schaap’s Scandal. 

 

Independent Fundamental Baptist’s Behavioral Steps after Jack Schaap Scandal

First, they deny.  When the Schaap scandal first became public, IFB commenters on blogs and news sites were quick to deny that Schaap had done anything wrong. The accusations were lies and they were certain that Schaap was completely innocent. (IFB pastors are often worshiped like a god)

Second, they marginalize. When they could no longer deny the reality of the Schaap scandal, they turned to letting everyone know that Schaap was a “sinner” just like everyone else and, while his “fall” was regrettable, people should not judge the IFB church movement or First Baptist Church negatively. One bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bushel. (actually it can)

Third, attack the critics. Instead of owning the scandal, many IFB defenders decided to attack those who reported the scandal or wrote negative things about Schaap, Jack Hyles, First Baptist Church in Hammond, and the IFB.  You can read about one such attack here.

Across the blogosphere, in discussion forums, in blog comments, and emails, the defenders of the IFB have attempted to ameliorate  the scandal by attacking people like me. They can’t dismiss my impeccable IFB credentials so they attack me personally or they dismiss me out of hand because I am an atheist. Why should anyone listen to what I have say, they write. I am a God-hater. I am bitter, angry, have an axe to grind.

They try and discredit the messenger so they won’t have to deal with his/her message. The goal is direct attention away from the facts.

Fourth, if all else fails, attack the victim. Let’s not forget that there is a victim in the Jack Schaap scandal. Schaap’s “sin” was not a victimless one. He had sexual relations with a minor in the church. Some media sites are reporting that the girl was being counseled by Schaap. (in Ohio, such a relationship is illegal)

He isn’t kidding either.  I had over 8000 hits on that article in less than 24 hours, and I received some strange comments – good comments – comments from hurt.  At the time of the Jack Schaap scandal they made comments about how they were NOT going to cover things up like the Jerry Sandusky scandal at Penn State.  Its to be expected that people were reeling over this, and at first WISH To be in denial because it HURTS!  How they handled things afterwards?  There truly is no comparison. 

 

One group (Penn State) seemed to own the sin with growing maturity, and the other reminds me of young teenagers. 

 

The type that is shocked they got caught, and deny everything.  Then they move on to how it is NOT that bad, and how others ‘made’ them do it.  They get mad and defensive at the circumstance, and everyone in connection with it.  I have seen this type of behavior time and time again in YOUNG teenagers, and then they come to a fork in the road for their life.  Do they continue such behavior when caught doing something, or do the own their actions. 

Adventures in Missing The Point

Mary Kassian is twisting and turning the truth once again to make her point.  Does she really make it in a honestly and upfront way?  Not so much. 

In fact she completely misses the point, but pretends she knows was the point was.  You don’t have to like all of the presentation of a message in order to ‘grasp’ the concept of the message.  In Mary’s reality unless it is dished up in her flavor she seems to ignore it.  Here is the article. 

Rape is a crime of opportunity or at times even a means of shame (not to say there aren’t other reasons).  Adults and children get sexual assaulted all the time sadly. 

This story started innocently enough on a college campus when a police officer was asked to come and give a talk about rape prevention, risk management, etc.   These things will help you recognize ways to lesson your chances of being attacked, but will not guarantee it.

Dress is cultural myth that society uses to blame others for being raped.  Majority of these cases are NOT people that were dressed in the way that society seems to hint at.  This myth has been proven false, but this culture has a hard accepting it.  Repeating it and using dress encourages the continual use of the myth, instead of dealing with the proven issues.

The police officer in question decided to use this myth during his presentation – even after being taught and instructed not to.  He informed the crowd if they were stop dressing like sluts they wouldn’t get raped.  The after effect of his words started the march all over the globe to bring awareness to others. 

They used the word ‘slut’ because of the police officer using it.  I’m sure many did not like the presentation due to the wording, and the fact that some showed up dressing the part on purpose.  This march started organically as news spread of the officer’s insulting ignorance. 

Keep in mind when you read about sexual assaults on men or women in the news the clothing myth is not prevalent in the facts of the case. That should clue society in, but sadly it doesn’t seem to sink in for whatever reason.  Here is a RAINN article about different types of sexual assault.

Half The Church

I was listening to a broadcast on Moody radio today, and they were speaking to the author Carolyn Custis James.  Her book I pictured here today is called, ‘Half the Church’.  She was speaking to the women ministry in the church.  I uploaded the program if you are interested in listening.

Carolyn Custis James starts with Genesis, and how it seems to her that the genders are to work together. (6:15)  I like how she called us God’s A-Team as far as image bearers!

I will summarize some of it for you, but I’m sure I missed TONS!


Half The Church Moody Program upload link!

How decisions and discussions are richer once you use the prospective of both men and women.  When men and women come together, and value what each brings to the table then decisions tend to be better (7:50).   Its not a matter of whom is better or worse.  Its not the competition that we seem to be taught, and yet I realize that isn’t what they would call it.  Women see things differently, and their insights and views can open a whole new prospective.

(9:18) They speak of the lack of women’s opinion at times, because of the doors that shut to women in ministry.  Its not about how high up the ladder the woman goes, and people that use that avenue of opinion tend to miss the point. 

Some of the fears of men and women working together?

(19:45) One pastor raised a question that if we work to closely with women won’t we be tempted?  I suppose one of the realities of living in fallen world is temptation.  We are called to be a body, and to work together.  How there seems to be a fear there.   The bible’s message is not for women to be seen only as a temptress, but to be redemptive.   Why is the church’s message at times is that women are a hazard and they are dangerous.   It seems to be a very small view of women when you have things like your computer or other types of things that don’t get talked about as much as the fear of women.  (think goodness I know plenty of men that don’t fit that description)

Immaturity seems to be key here.  I have had good relationships with Christian Brothers – as the women on the show mentioned as well – I would hate to be not allowed that due to some immature fear of women.   How we are to be models for the world, and them asking themselves, ‘what is it they have and can I get some of that!’  It would be modeled by our respect and love of not only each other, but of God. 

We get so focused on fear of gender, not doing our roles, etc that we miss what we ought to be doing.  We seem to be looking at what we are afraid of.

(20:20) God didn’t divide men and women – this is the sphere for men and this is the sphere for women.  We are to be working together as a team to fulfill God’s purpose.    We are God’s A Team, and we need to come together and respect the prospective from each gender. 

(26:20)  They got an email from a man that stated, “Men aren’t afraid of women, but they are more afraid of themselves”.   They were not able to give him a follow up question, but wondered for one: They don’t trust themselves to be alone with a women if they are attracted to her?  This is the type of fear they need to take to God, and have him help with it.

(33:20)  When our voices are heard people just assume we are only talking about women, and not the church as a whole.    A women commented, ‘When I have brought up a concern in our churches small groups, about how we should have a time to be able to share on a more personal level instead of the ‘prescribed’ format?  I was told it was a great idea, and something that needed to be the ‘women’s ministry’ for further exploration.  They seemed to think that was a good idea for women, but didn’t feel look at the fact I was talking about the small groups overall.   Sometimes I feel our brothers only feel we are answering question for our gender. ‘

(34:30) This is where we need to have more communication, because when things are said like that?  Women feel slammed, whether it was meant that way or not.  What would be a better follow up to bring it back to point. 

(38:10) They speak of the curtain between the genders during the biblical days.  It would be seen as similar to what we see today in the middle east.  How the genders did not, and would not work together as we see in other parts of the world today.  It shows how radical Jesus was towards women in that day.  How at times items like dress still today are still laid upon the women, and how they make them responsible just as the men do in the middle east today.  I’m sure they were speaking of attitudes more than extremes.

(39:10)  How women are put to death for being pregnant out of wedlock, because it is dishonoring to the men in their families.  The men are the position of power.  The men are in the position of authority, and yet God is raising women up.  

In the case of Mary and Joseph? Joseph is written about as a ‘righteous man’.   If we think about what Joseph did in that culture?  Heck even before then angel came to tell him to go ahead and wed Mary?  He was full of grace and compassion towards Mary.  She could have been put to death as well.   Joseph was ‘disgraced’ in the eyes of the culture at the time, and yet he was going to choose to ‘divorce’ her privately. No exposure, no punishing of her, no revenge upon her.   Joseph is a true man of the bible.

(48:15) Esther and Mordecai worked together to save their people.   Their goal for the bigger good, and Esther stepped out of her role. 

Men and Women should be able to work together, and to met together, and not have the fear of each other.  When you are involved in a cause that is bigger than yourself..then you are willing to do what needs to be done.  You are not to be worried about if I have enough authority, or am I looked up as equal. 

With both the Mary and Joseph  - Esther and Mordecai stories big things were at stake.  They were bigger than the people within.  When men and women aren’t willing to partner together, unwilling to work together that means that the Kingdom of God suffers.  Its not a light matter, because so do we as the body of Christ. 

(50:00)  Mary’s baby will save the world, and Esther’s King is going to save her people.  The gospel doesn’t call for us to fight for our rights, but asks us to lay our lifes down.  As the body of Christ we should be looking out for each other.   Today we are to ‘us’ focused – biblical roles for one – and yet we are to consider others more important than ourselves.  Mordecai is cheering Esther on, and encouraging her to step out!  Mary is at risk due to her pregnancy, and Joseph is standing behind her and shutting down his carpenter’s shop so that she can do what she was called to do. 

(51:40)  What you see at the end is mutual flourishing.  They are all four flourishing as God’s image bearers.  Real life examples?  When the Elder meetings start the door shuts for the women.  It doesn’t matter if they are equipped to help in that role.  There are many men that feel ‘entitled’ to make all the decisions, without the need to even consult women.  They feel they should serve only in nurturing roles only. 

It definitely was a program that gets you thinking.  Check out the facebook comments on the show.  Here and Here.

Half The Church looks like an interesting book, and I think I will purchase it!  Here is a Google preview for Half The Church for you to check out.

Technorati Tags: biblical roles of men and women,biblical roles in marriage,biblical gender roles,biblical roles of husbands and wives,women in ministry,women in the church,half the church,Carolyn Custis James,Moody Midday

Lack of Modesty is NOT a reason for rape!

If you can't see video click here!

I was flipping the channels on television last night, and I came upon a discussion about rape and modesty.  I'm all for modesty, because the Lord calls for it AT the very least okay?

When you make excuses for rape due to lack of modesty?  I have an issue there.  The argument may make sense on how our culture sees things, but its also based in ignorance. Its one of those things in which the 'world' and the 'faith' circles tend to agree, and they shouldn't.

Rapist's to me look for the vulnerable.

Rapist's look for the opportunity.

Rapist look to see what circumstances are best to be able to get away with their crime with the least amount of personal risk.

They are like any other criminal in that sense.

Rape can happen to either gender, and that honestly should be clue one it has nothing to do with 'modesty'.

I mean how often do we ask little boys if they were dressing provocatively when they were attacked?   If the dress is the key - it would be universal.

It has to do with a demented mindset, and nothing else.

You have a man or a women with a sick mindset, and they hunt for their victims.  REMEMBER men aren't the only ones that attack sexually!

They search for the opportunity, and they seek the vulnerable typically. It's that way with most any other crime as well.   If a criminal is going to rob a house?  Are they going to pick the one with a huge dog, and security sign on the window?  Or the one that is dark, and shows easy access?

When criminals break in a house, and rape and kill the people that lived there?   Its very telling for our society that they can realize that happened due to the power structure at the time, and that the criminals were CRIMINALS!

Yet we make excuses for rape in other circumstances.  How convenient is our intelligence when we have to face things up close and personal, and yet throw it away when the opportunity presents itself.

Modesty - its much more than clothes

I remember as a young girl the town next door just opened a sports center. My parents felt it would be a great idea for myself, and my brother to learn how to play tennis. The next thing I know I got a tennis racket for my birthday with Billie Jean King's autograph on it. It was actually pretty exciting for me at the time.

I remember the first day for my very FIRST tennis lesson. It was summer time, and my brother and I walked everywhere - or rode our bikes. I had my tennis racket in hand, and my tennis outfit my mother got me as well. I walked along the busy streets on the sidewalk to get to the indoor sports center where my lessons were being held.

The next thing I know is a car full of men were whistling and cat calling out to me. At that point I had already hit the area where there were many stores, and I remember this surge of fear at the time. I was looking around for a place of safety, and was afraid to finish my walk to the sports center for my lesson.

The next thing I know the street light changed on the main street I was trying to cross, and their car moved forward. I noticed they had made a U turn at their very first opportunity, and I ran into the department store on the other side of the street. I remember hiding behind the first display that was available, and at the same time watching to see if that car full of men would follow me into the store.

To say I was scared at the time was a huge under statement. My stomach was turning over in knots, and I was thinking of what my next move would be if they indeed came into the store I had just escaped into.

At the time behind all the stores in the area were farm fields behind them, or small areas of homes. I knew the sports center wasn't far at this point, and I decided I was going to finish my journey through the fields. I was to frighten to finish it along the main road.