Traumatic Bonding: How does it work?

I was reading a story about an experiment with little ducks today.  The story was to illustrate how traumatic bonding works.  I don’t know about most, but at times visuals tend to help me truly understand concepts better.
This reference came from the book, "Get Me Out Of Here: My recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder," by Rachel Reiland.
In it, the author was being asked to examine the nature of her relationship with her parents and the closeness of her bonds to them. The therapist shared with her the duck-test story:
"Some scientists were conducting an experiment," he said, "trying to gauge the impact of abuse on children. Ducks, like people, develop bonds between mother and young. They call it imprinting. So the scientists set out to test how that imprint bond would be affected by abuse.

"The control group was a real mother duck and her ducklings. For the experimental group, the scientist used a mechanical duck they had created - feathers, sound, and all - which would, at timed intervals, peck the ducklings with its mechanical beak. A painful peck, one a real duck would not give.
They varied these groups. Each group was pecked with a different level of frequency. And then they watched the ducklings grow and imprint bond with their mother.

They Turned Out Despite THEM!

I sitting here praying this morning for Tina Anderson, and all those that are watching and waiting for the jury to come back.  Will there be justice? 

I think some justice has happened even before this trial started.  Willis will go to jail no matter what the jury comes back with today. 

I pray for a different type of justice – that people will open their eyes and hearts to those families that don’t give their children a chance.

What I saw at this trial – among other things – is adults at the time trying to SHAMEFULLY take ‘credit’ for the awesome adults that Tina and Tom turned out to be.  It amazes me because their ‘safe adults’ in childhood were just as dangerous as their stepfather Daniel Leaf at the time.

These adults – Tina and Tom – turned out despite the outrageous conduct, behavior, and ghastly beliefs the adults in their life's made them endure.

The church’s ignorance is killing children, and if we are lucky enough to have some survive?  It wasn’t due to the adults in their life's – they survived despite them.  Can we get REAL for a moment!  Its shameful that people TRY to take credit where CREDIT isn’t due!

Tina and her brother Tom never had a chance.  It is their faith, and their push to have a life later on that should teach others.  Yet you have people like Christine Leaf – their mother – that use their mostly awful judgment as a parent to say it wasn't all that bad – look at how they turned out!

The truth is they turned out well despite their mother.

They MADE us DO IT!

John Patterson - Governor of Alabama (approx 20 minutes into program)

These people are going town-to-town getting off the bus, and seeking trouble through mixed groups.  Negro men and white women trying to force themselves into situations, which tend to inflame the local people, and in such a manner to incense them and to enrage them and provoke them into acts of violence.  That's what they have done.  

When you watch the show Freedom Riders you will notice that the southerners make excuses for their behavior.

Black and white – men and women – were asking to be able to ride together on buses, and wanting to sit together in waiting areas.  The southerners were inflamed and enraged over the fact that these AGITATORS don’t take the Jim Crows laws seriously!

I can’t even imagine how completely scared the agitators were.  I know for myself my stomach would be doing flip-flops at the very least.

There were those that agreed with the principal they stood for, but honestly thought they were nuts to take it this far!  WHY would you purposely walk into a line of fire that you KNOW may get you killed!

People place themselves in harms way all the time for PRINCIPAL!  It was the correct, moral, and ethical, truly compassionate human principle they were standing on.

It takes guts to stand there, and take the abuse that was given in return.  THAT is what they truly did!  It was the choice of the southerners to react with violence.

The Repeating Theme of History

We know that now, but honestly?  The theme tends to repeat itself over and over in history.  It plays out in different ways, but this theme of ‘they made me do it’ is always present.

I am an Agitator! Want to join me?

Like they were always on guard thinking that
we are going to do something to him
- while they were doing it to us.

I watched the Freedom Riders last night on PBS.  I have to say I was terribly moved.

I don't think the younger generation can truly understand how ugly those attitudes were back then.  Don't get me wrong in saying bigotry is a thing of the past - its not.

Have we forgotten today how much non violence had moved a nation not even a generation ago?  At times I wonder.

You watched blacks and whites - male and female - go directly into the line of fire.  You watched how mobs of people allowed their hate and fear turn to violence.

They had the control, and they will tell you that their Negros liked it that way.  Sound familiar?  The world wasn't going to tell them how they should treat those under them.  They were happy with the status quo, and they spoke for 'their' blacks as well telling the world they were content as well.

When you are raised with this belief, and it is encouraged and lived as much as possible?  It amazes me how much people will just accept it.  I have no doubt that even some 'Negros' as they were labeled believed in their inferior status, but that is NOT to say some or even MOST believed that lie.

If you were in the south you got killed for stepping out of line, or maimed at the very least.   I'm not saying the North were not bigots as well, because we all know they are all over even today.

Jocelyn Andersen has a book, 'Woman this is War' in which she looks at past history to challenge the gender roles.  If you see this documentary (Freedom Riders) you can clearly see Jocelyn's points in her book.  Its like history trying the same old tired excuses, but focuses in a different direction of gender now.

Instead of calling people feminists?  They were called, "Agitators".  Why were they called that?  They felt that people should be able to sit where they wished on the bus.  The 'Negros' were to sit in the back of the bus.  They were not allowed to use the same facilities, or water fountains.

They were to be 'separate but equal' as the saying went to keep the systems of segregation.  The law stated the separation would exist as long as you had equal facilities for each.  We all know that didn't happen.

You hear the whites claim that this system has been in place for hundreds of years, and its just the way the whites like it - and blacks like it as well.  After all, they claim 'the whites are the best friend a negro has!"  If you give him a chance (the white man) he will even show you, and tell you about his benevolence towards 'their' Negros. Makes you sick doesn't it?


Agitators

It's hard to wrap my mind around the fact I grew up in this period.  There was so much toxic hate.  My parents were part of the 'agitators' group, and they raised my brother and I to be agitators as well.  White agitators were the worse kind according to the 'normal red blooded' whites.  We were traitors and a disgrace to our race. 

Here is a quote that truly hit home for me from the movie.  There were many others, but it rang true for today in the world of 'equal in value, but differing roles'.

We dealt with violence everyday in the south.

They didn't treat us like we were human.

They treated us like we were vicious animals.

Like they were always on guard thinking that we are going to do something to them - while they were doing it to us.

The sentence I underlined?  That is called projection.  You project your sins to others.

Prayers for Tina Anderson Today!

Prayers for Tina Anderson as they start the trial Monday Morning!

Emotional Abuse and Your Faith Interview

I was interviewed on Blog Talk Radio this afternoon, and it seemed to go very well.

Jocelyn Anderson and Cindy Kunsman discuss relevant issues within the church each week. I encourage you to check out the archives from their past shows.

What is NEAT is

• You can have an email sent to you with reminders for the shows, and what the shows will be about.
• If you get a signon name on the site you are able to participate in the chat that does on during the shows.
• There is also a phone number that you can call during the show to make you own points.
• Its neat to hear the personalities online I think!
• You can also listen after the show is done if it doesn't fit your schedule.

I have been listening to their show for a couple of months now, and they truly do have some great interviews and prospective.

Listen to internet radio with jocelyn andersen on Blog Talk Radio
If you can't see player click here.

Here is the player to listen to today's show, and I'm going to place their station on my side bar as well. You can access any of their past shows there.

Thank you so much Jocelyn and Cindy for this opportunity.

Join me on Blog Talk Radio!

Image courtesy of  http://nolongerquivering.com/

On Friday Morning I will be joining Jocelyn Andersen, and Cindy Kunsman on Blog Talk Radio.  They will be shooting me questions, and hopefully I will have some answers!  (giggles)

The Interview Begins at 1PM Eastern Time.  If you are not available you can listen to it directly on the blog talk radio link above.

I have supplied some world clocks that I set for that time zone if you would like to convert it to your time zone.

I hope you can join us then!

Lack of Modesty is NOT a reason for rape!

If you can't see video click here!

I was flipping the channels on television last night, and I came upon a discussion about rape and modesty.  I'm all for modesty, because the Lord calls for it AT the very least okay?

When you make excuses for rape due to lack of modesty?  I have an issue there.  The argument may make sense on how our culture sees things, but its also based in ignorance. Its one of those things in which the 'world' and the 'faith' circles tend to agree, and they shouldn't.

Rapist's to me look for the vulnerable.

Rapist's look for the opportunity.

Rapist look to see what circumstances are best to be able to get away with their crime with the least amount of personal risk.

They are like any other criminal in that sense.

Rape can happen to either gender, and that honestly should be clue one it has nothing to do with 'modesty'.

I mean how often do we ask little boys if they were dressing provocatively when they were attacked?   If the dress is the key - it would be universal.

It has to do with a demented mindset, and nothing else.

You have a man or a women with a sick mindset, and they hunt for their victims.  REMEMBER men aren't the only ones that attack sexually!

They search for the opportunity, and they seek the vulnerable typically. It's that way with most any other crime as well.   If a criminal is going to rob a house?  Are they going to pick the one with a huge dog, and security sign on the window?  Or the one that is dark, and shows easy access?

When criminals break in a house, and rape and kill the people that lived there?   Its very telling for our society that they can realize that happened due to the power structure at the time, and that the criminals were CRIMINALS!

Yet we make excuses for rape in other circumstances.  How convenient is our intelligence when we have to face things up close and personal, and yet throw it away when the opportunity presents itself.

Jack Schaap Transcript - response to 20/20 broadcast

Jack Schaap arrogant response to the 20/20 program, and his enabling Elders snickering in the background

The picture of Jack Schaap preaching to his church after segments of him appeared on the 20/20 show about Tina Anderson and Independent Fundamental Baptist Church.  It seems his congregation was a bit alarmed that they used him as an example of what some circles teach.

Schaap states with pride that he was quoting the word of God, and yet if you listen to what he said during the program?  None of it came from the bible at all.

You see I'm don't take my theology from a woman ISN'T in the bible.  Telling women they better look like they did when they got married, and don't allow themselves to get fat?  Its not in the bible either.

His response to the 20/20 program is defensiveness, and something the program pointed out.  You don't question nor criticize your pastor.  He can't throw 20/20 out of the church, and so instead Schaap decided to proudly rage in church instead. 

He basically proved the point of the show, and I don't think he even realized it.  The attitude they spoke of is right there for the world to see.

He was so comfortable with what he say - he told video locations throughout the internet to pull down his response due to copyright infringements.  lol okay then!

You don't take down videos of you justifying yourself to your congregation if you sleep well at night with what you said.  You don't take down videos of yourself saying, "Hallelujah God's word is getting out!" of you really MEAN IT!

You notice the elders in the background with smiles and grins on their faces?  It shows to the world their acceptance of the venom he throws at others, and their pandering to his hatred.  He admits he is arrogant, and basically tells others if you don't like OH WELL!

I have recently seen the Jack Schaap video up again on the internet.  You can search for it, but I decided to post his transcript of the video response to 20/20.

Jack Schaap Transcript - response to 20/20 broadcast:

ABC news called me this week and said "We heard that you believe that men should be in charge of their wives"

I said, "No sir, I didn't say that. I said God said that. He said husbands are the head of the wife."

I said, "You got a problem with what I said when I'm quoting the Bible, then maybe you should take it up with God."

He said, "Do you think that's appropriate?"

I said, "Son, anything God says is appropriate. I think you better get that straight right now."

I never apologise for standing where God stands. I never worry standing where God stands. Somebody says, "You know what they are going to say about you?"

Pffft, who cares?

Stand in line, pick a number, slob!

Get you little squirt gun out and squirt away.