Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Entitlement of an Abusive Mind

Posted by Hannah at 7:35 AM

When I speak to those that I know that don't have to deal with domestic abuse, or should I say don't really recognize its there is always one word they can relate to ENTITLEMENT! I remember once sitting waiting for another party to show up for a business lunch one day, and the gentleman that was there was talking about his girlfriend's xhusband. It wasn't out of vindictive nature or really anger. It was more confusion over his behavior towards NOT her, but their children they had together.

Entitlement cartoon Pictures, Images and PhotosIt seemed like a rather new relationship at the time, and he remembers how she was thankful for his help with the dinner dishes. I mean REALLY thankful almost shocked that he would do that at all! He mentioned - as he shook his head in amazement - how this man had certain hours placed aside that she was 'allowed' to vaccum so it didn't interrupt his television viewing. His peace and quiet that he needed in the evenings so he could relax. He really seemed disturbed at his views on how he would only pay for college for one child, and NOT partcipate in the other ones need for tuition. THAT child stayed at his home more often, and had the luxury of sleeping his basement. He now had a new wife, and 'their' children slept upstairs. He was done with them - his older children. The way he spoke to them, and about them just sent this man's head swimming that he could treat his own children this way.

'Why does he think that was okay? I mean WHAT do you call that you know?' he said to me.

"Entitled mindset! That's what you call it."

"That fits him to a tee! WOW never thought about that before!" he responded.

They have this sick entitled mindset that feels they are over basic morality.

O.J. Simpson Bronco police chase Entitled You remember this scene? I remember flying into California for a wedding, and we were all glued to the TV for a short period of time in the bar in the reception hall because of the outright shock we were all in! I liked OJ Simpson, and my heart just sank as I saw him drive down that highway. The highway wasn't even far from the reception I was at. We did all RUSH back to our seats when the wedding party arrived!

I remember as the trial when on I was getting a huge sick feeling in my gut! That man I felt was a handsome football player RETIRED was actually capable of murder.

That wave to the jury in THANKS when he got found not guilty.

Excuse me I'm writing had an article that reminded me of his whining speech that the recent trial that he was found guilty.

The entitlement of the abuser was a bit toned down, but it came shining in for me! I take that back - I'm sure he was more humbled by his jail stay now that I think about it.

As "Excuse me I'm writing" stated:

“Your honor, I stand before you today sorry. I didn’t want to hurt any of these guys. I know these guys. These guys have eaten in my home. I’ve done book reports with their kids. I’ve sung to their mothers when they were sick. You know I wasn’t there to hurt anyone. I just wanted my personal things and I realize that was stupid of me. I’m sorry.“

I came here to claim my stuff that I knew was here. I wanted to get the stuff that was stolen from my family, and get the people I knew stole it RED HANDED from my family!

He goes on to paint one the victims of his crime as someone who tricked him the past, and even tried to get him to do PORN videos. He was attempted to tear down this witness, and YET he forgave him for spreading rumors in the tabloids about the porn that never happened...and he just YELLED at him for it - and of course forgave him! Others that burned him he yelled and forgave them as well. Hugged their kids and their kids called him!

He just asked others to come with him, and stand behind him as he yelled at those that stole from him. Stand behind him and help him collect his things that they had stolen from him. IF they didn't let them remove his things he would call the cops!

It was his fault because he knew the characters of some of the parties he brought with him, but he in NO WAY meant to hurt anyone. lol he was only going to YELL at them, and get his stuff!

He felt he was confronting FRIENDS and retriving his property! He didn't realize he was doing anything illegal! All the rest of them except one that came with him? They all volunteered - they WANTED to go! Oh yes - and alot of I'm SORRY!

He was humbled by the jail experience some I'm sure, but his entitled mindset was there as well. HE was the victim - NO one would help him - HE JUST WANTED HIS STUFF BACK!

Why do I see entitlement? The judge in response reminded him that this trial was pretty easy due to the fact EVERYTHING was recorded! NOW if you didn't know that everything was recorded his little show for the judge may have had some people thinking, "He should have his STUFF back! He only went to GET it!"

Yet the tapes show he didn't just want his stuff back he wanted to keep it from the 'gold diggers' as he put it. The Goldman's from his older mess that involved domestic violence!

The planning was taped!
The event was taped!
Phone calls were taped!
Conversations were taped!
Video tape of him going IN!
Video tape of him going OUT!
The party AFTERWARDS was taped!
EVERYTHING on this case was on tape!

It was HIS own words that were heard thruout all those events that brought him there to the seat in her courtroom!

THEY hear it all! What came out on the tapes was the evidence was overwhelming against him.....and yet HE was only after his stuff, and he wasn't going to HURT anyone!

The event inside the hotel room wasn't just a 'I just want stuff' type of conversation! He felt entitled to GO and GET HIS STUFF by FORCE! If you hear his whine beforehand he was 'entitled' to do this! No one was helping him the way he wanted help so he was going to TAKE IT!

If you watch his reaction when the judge was speaking to him it was almost like, "Oh COME ON! Give me a BREAK!" In the first video you she her telling him he is NOT stupid but basically arrogant and ignorant.

In the second video you can see his 'sighs' and the rolls of the eyes. She just doesn't understand - he just wanted his stuff back. He wasn't going to hurt them. HIS STUFF is all he wanted! His actions were entitlment to WHAT he wanted! OJ Simpson - even tho there is overwhelmly evidence - and HE KNEW THAT - just sits there and say I just want my STUFF back! It was all done so innocently!

Entitlement of an Abusive mind isn't what I call a gender issue, but its clear as day for me during this last trial for OJ Simpson. Unlike most abusive people his charm, and twisting of facts didn't work this time. They were all taped. His pleads of what happened were a bit different if you listen to the tapes.

I remember I was on the phone recently talking to my mother about this trial. I mentioned that alot of people feel its partly payback over the last HUGE issue he had. She giggled at me, "Remember Hannah he was found NOT guilty! They didn't do a great job at his trial. That's why it happened the way it did." I giggled back at her, "COME ON! You know he was guilty! I'm not saying I agree with them and the payback...YOU know he was guilty don't you?" "I think he was, but he was found NOT guilty!" LOL Mom always trying to be that politcally correct!

I asked her if she saw his entitlement. Did she see that entitled mindset of this abuser. "Hannah after what the judge said, and if they listened to the tapes? Who could miss it!"

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Anonymous said...

My mother does this; she "rewrites history" prn. The Monday after thanksgiving she tried it again, asking when she can come and get an item of my Grandmother's that had been given to me...

Hannah on 2:48 PM said...

OH YES - the love to rewrite history. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Stand up and be strong!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous -- please go read a blog called Narcissists Suck

It's by a friend of mine who, like me, had a Narcissistic mother. You will find it very enlightening I am sure.

Rewriting history is something pathologicals (narcissists, sociopaths) do all the time. With ease.

For me Read this

Having a parent like this sets you up as a magnet for abusive relationships. NOT YOUR FAULT, either.

Hannah on 5:48 PM said...

I do agree Barbara!

Anonymous said...

Another good link for you to have H --

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