Friday, August 08, 2008

Abusive Christian Husband - Scripture used to Abuse

Posted by Hannah at 10:28 AM

When the bible is used to abuse! Scripture used within domestic violence situations....

According to five independent sociological studies that were done to see which group was more likely to spiritually abuse their wife's, and the group in which domestic violence towards the wife's were more likely present was (which included people that doesn't follow a faith) Conservative protestant Christians. Its shocking that the studies overwellingly found this to be true! They also found that the group to most likely NOT abuse their wife's was also Conservative protestant Christian men. They found that a close relationship between whom were regularly involved with the church, and those that only attended on occasion were the big factor. This means MOST of the time, but not ALL of the time!

They mentioned that the men that took their religion seriously, and spoke and sought to understand scripture were more unlikely to misuse 'submission' and 'headship'. The other group heard those terms, and used them to their advantage! "I have the right to have POWER.....she has to SUBMIT!"

They spoke to a woman that has been counseled by a Christian organization, and found that some of the messages encouraged women NOT to speak out! It was a sin to talk badly about your husband. That means if there is abuse within the home you were NOT to speak of it!

The counselor that said that most of the clients they see all have this impression that they are to silently submit, and do everything that the husband says. That teaching she receives is from her mother, bible studies, the pulpit, etc. Scripture DOES address headship, submission and the rest of course! Where the problem comes in when pastors do sermons on submission, and DON'T address the abusive side of using submission to control their families! Why? Women in most cases don't validate their own abuse!

Women that have been emotionally abused, verbally abused, spiritually and sexually abused don't take things seriously enough even when it goes into physical abuse. Why? It took that long to happen, so maybe it won't happen again! They deny what is happening to them, and at times it takes a long time for them to 'own this'. In many cases it takes others to tell them they MUST take this serious! If you have most pushing other messages - neither party or their children will get the help they need. Their children also suffer under this very controlled and oppressive headship!

A Pastor and his wife met with some local women's domestic violence shelters to see what they could do to help. They had a meeting with them, and one of the first questions that was asked was, "What are you going to do about headship?" Some of these people didn't even go to church. Headship was being used to shut woman down, and used to control their wives. Most people will tell you that when you are in a fight that is getting to heated....walk away. Right? Their husband's grab them, block their way and will HOLD them there to finish.....because THEY are the boss!

Peter says in the bible that men are to relate to their wives as God relates to our savior Jesus. There seems to be a big contrast with that, and how some people view headship wouldn't you say? Jesus shares authority with God his Father. The Father empowers his son! That is SO far away from how it can be misused with the family! YES the bible does say that man is the head, but it also clarifies what that means! Its not some POWER structure! It describes servant leadership, and servant leadership doesn't mean do what I say, how I say, when I say IT! POWER isn't the concentrated on portion of this passage, and yet that is what alot of people that misused scripture take it to mean. Its in a form of protection and servant hood....the husband isn't her Lord! She only has ONE Lord! The Father GIVES to the son, and the Father does not TAKE from the son! He doesn't scream at him to get his way, and remind him WHOM is the HEAD!

The book mentioned in the video.

The bible states what the intent for marriage is, but is also used to abuse the intention of marriage. That should not be! RBC ministry presents this second installment video - Scripture used within domestic violence. Here is a link to rbc ministries page in case my first link doesn't work. RAVE is the organization they mentioned that pastors can use to educate themselves online about domestic abuse!

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