Friday, January 29, 2010

Pastor Charged with Domestic Violence

Posted by Hannah at 9:11 AM

The pastor of a Community of Faith Church in a Houston-area church as been accused of domestic violence.

James Wallace Dixon, 47, is charged with assault on a family member, a misdemeanor.  His bail was set at $50,000, and he as been released.

According to the Houston Con newspaper article:

Officials said the charge stems from an altercation Jan. 25 between Dixon and his estranged wife, whose name has not been released. The couple has been separated for about 9 months, officials said. 

Investigators said that Dixon went to his wife's home in the 5000 block of Bridge Valley Drive to drop off the couple's children. His wife let him inside the home briefly but then asked him to leave. 

Dixon allegedly pushed her, picked up their youngest child and went outside, officials said.
His wife followed and stood behind his car, apparently to to prevent Dixon from leaving. Officials said that Dixon allegedly grabbed the woman and threw her inside the house.

When things like this happen we all feel for the family of course, but I often also think of the rip and tearing of the church.

If this actually did happen I can picture people taking sides like they did with the Chris Brown and Rihanna case.  Did she 'push' him to far to do this?  At times I have to wonder if people do this as a self protection mode, because they just can't handle wrapping their mind around the fact domestic violence does happen.  I suppose if we could find fault in the victim - pushing the attacker - to push the abuser to commit some sin it would be easier to place the circumstance in a nice, neat little box.

The stamp of 'who started it' would help them so they don't have to process this.  To me people complain about 'how today's society is', and yet don't see when they do this type of thing they treat all involved like children.  I mean HOW many times have we ran across children fighting, and when we stop them one screams "they started it!"  As adults in most cases in life I would hope we can place ourselves to higher standards.  YES in life there are times in which people 'start things', but is it the adult response violence acceptable?

Bill Miller, a spokesman for Dixon, released a statement Thursday evening.

"Reverend Dixon believes very strongly in our criminal justice system. Until this case is resolved, he wishes to thank all of his friends, family and church members for their prayers and support.
"Beyond that, the Dixon family requests that their privacy be respected and will have no further comment on this matter."

If convicted, Dixon faces up to a year in the Harris County jail and a maximum of a $4,000 fine.

I highly doubt Dixon if convicted with spend anytime in jail.  If convicted you have to wonder what this pastor's response will be as well.  I mean he states he believes strongly in our criminal justice system.

When you see high profile situations like this you do see the abuser most of the time stating sorrow, and at times attempts at owning most of it.  There are normally statements close to how they want to be friends, or don't wish for the relationship to go down the tubes, etc.  When they ask for forgiveness is usually when the heat is the strongest for the victim (from the outside world) to 'own part of it', because after all they said they were sorry!  Its not until the victim states that the relationship is over do you get statements from the abuser with hesitate agreement.

I guess people miss the part that the reconciliation of the relationship at that point isn't the part of immediate urgency.  Matter of fact, its the last thing they need to worry about.  They have more pressing matters to deal with, and you have to wonder WHY others completely miss that point?  Hopes, dreams, etc of reconciliation should be the last thing stated in their comments.  Abusive people don't understand that, but you would think those that wish to help them could.

The top priority is to deal with the habit patterns of the family, and it will be a long road to change those.  You can't learn to grow past that point, or truly start any healing within the individuals if that doesn't take place.  YES that means something besides the surface junk, and YES go past the place when most of the time the abuser states, 'I don't need anymore help!  Lets move ON!" type of thing.  We all know that people tend to go right to the breaking point, and they turn tail and run.  The 'lets move on' type of statements from the abuser?  That should be clue one for those that wish to support him/her.  You can't force them of course, but most of the time you don't see anything of substance as far as consequences for them either for their decision.

Have you ever seen that show 'Intervention'?  They show you a picture of a broken family due to an addict, and show how this addict ripped and tore the family to pieces due to their addiction.  The intervention team came in, and informed the family that they must place consequences in place if they refuse help, or not do the help without the proper spirit of wanting to be healed.  Victims and Abusers have their own addictions of sorts.  Victims need to learn about their own issues, and NO that doesn't include how to NOT push buttons!  It could be codependency for example.  Abusers must deal with the root of rage that has ruined their life, and learning to own things instead of blaming the world for their issues.  Neither will heal if they don't.  You don't see consequences in place like you do on the show, and to me its a shame!

By the way...
The is reporting :

Once Michael Colquitt arrived to meet his father, he said Joe Colquitt was upset because he wasn't attending church like he should, and at some point alleged the argument came to a head with the pastor pulling out a handgun.

“(Michael) Colquitt stated (Joe) Colquitt pulled out a handgun and stated he would kill him, his wife and family,” the report said. “(Michael) Colquitt stated (his father) was upset because he cussed him.”

In the order of protection filed by Michael Colquitt — which was served to Joe Colquitt Tuesday — the allegations made by the younger man go one step further, as he claims his father “pulled out a gun and loaded it ... he pointed it at me numerous times ... he also punched me in my face.”

When officers contacted Joe Colquitt, he reportedly admitted that he did pull out a handgun during the argument, but said he pointed it at the ceiling, not his son.

The pastor denied threatening his son's wife and family, but said he told the 32-year-old that “because he cussed his father, God could kill his wife and family.”

According to the Tennessee Department of Safety, Joe Colquitt does not currently have a permit to carry a handgun.

To me?  This is to strange.  He didn't point a loaded gun at his son during the argument - just the ceiling.  He didn't threaten anyone's life, because God is going to take down his family because his son cussed at him.

I'm going to pray for this pastor that was charged with domestic violence, and I will also be praying for his family and church.  This not only can rip and tear apart their marriage, but sadly the church as well.

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