Now you get 'juice bars and skinny jeans’ at church. Seriously? That’s all you heard?

The church claims they hear the Millennial generation, but are they listening?  They haven’t been listening for generations now!  Sadly, they just think they are.

I’m NOT a millennial, but I would be guilty of the generation that gave birth to them.  Yet, I can understand their complaints.  Our generation raised complaints, and we were ignored and spoken down to as well. 

I realize some of the older generation – like mine – will throw out the stereotype about the generations ‘issues’.  WELL all generations had them, and some young people walk away from church….and come back when children are born. 

Once they leave again after that?  Chances are pretty good its not over all the labels or issues that the present generation is handed.  Its normally MUCH larger than that.  To me?  That’s where they miss the boat…

Things have been going downhill since the 1980’s – if not sooner.  I guess its our children’s chance to have a running start, and bang into that brick wall now. 

Acknowledge and Deal with the Changes in Culture

When you don’t listen to the millennial generation’s parents?  You can be pretty much secure in knowing their children will figure it out as well.  Problems don’t go away when you ignore them, but tend to get worse.

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.

In the present culture you have the internet, and in my generation you had the start of cable tv (when I was teen I believe).  Our worlds were starting to open up, and come to find all the messages you told us about being the ONLY one that felt that way?  Hmm.  I guess NOT so much!  That’s why we are questioning you….

Your words had power when we were isolated, but now that the world as opened up?  We find others that realize some of the things you say don’t make sense either. 

For me personally at times the church’s viewpoint was almost superstitious. You need to keep sheltered, because otherwise you will be contaminated.  That doesn’t say much for our strength in faith.

You have to act a certain way, dress a certain, worship a certain way…so as we see it the church created an environment at times that made people compelled to hide sin.  You can’t show that ‘contaminated’ side.   If you point that out?  We were told this church attitude isn’t there, and we are seeing things or making things up so we can sin.  It’s a smoke screen!

Modesty is more than a dress code!

The Modesty Train has left the station, since we know summertime in the USA is here.  I get so sick and tired of all the speeches on what to wear so you don’t cause men to stumble.  Most of the time you see mature women dressing appropriately in church, or elsewhere.  You also have most men that can handle the visual deal just fine.  Is this the only thing they have to say about modesty?

Sadly, other portions of the modesty definition are completely ignored.  I have a video clip of a pastor showing immodest behavior, and he feels he is justified and entitled to use it.

Pastor Jim Standridge is acting like a teenager – or toddler throwing a hissy fit.  Telling people from his pulpit JUST what he thinks about things in order to humiliate them…and then calls it love.  His conceit is showing, and he tells the world he doesn’t care.  Nice.  No doubt the man thinks he is the clothing police as well.

Modesty is more than a dress code

Modesty also includes attitude.  When you are reading or being taught something, and you know the teacher is using shaming language?  That isn’t modest.  Its very immodest in fact.

When you have a preacher up in the pulpit reminding everyone how important they are, and how they are to be revered?  They are being boastful, and that is also immodest.

Your delivery towards others shows the attitude, and if you have a stinky attitude?  You can be wearing the most modesty attire on earth…and you are still being immodest.

Philippians 2:³ Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ⁴ Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ⁵ Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,^{[a] 6} who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,⁷ but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant,^[b] being born in the likeness of men.

I remember as a little girl, and going to visit my grandmother.  She would push and push for me to put dresses on.  She felt it was the thing to do if you are to be a proper young lady.  I remember putting on dresses to go to church, and my brother and I were honored guests that week. 

What always bothered me was their speech. 

Consider if your language shows respect for those around you.

They saw nothing right with the world, and matter of fact they loved to nit pick almost every aspect of what people did – right or wrong.  It wasn’t just the ladies that did this either.  You heard it from the pulpit as well. 

They made some good points at times, and other times to me they were just being mean and vicious. They did things better than the world, and their proper attire, proper way of worship, bible study, etc.  I never quite understood HOW they felt they were coming across with humility and humbleness. 

They would dress in the most modest ways, but I’m sorry they were NOT modest!  Lets be honest here – it was conceit!

The proper girl’s dress, or the proper men’s suit and tie wasn’t a show of proper Christlike behavior when you go around with the attitude of ‘Thank GOD we are NOT like THOSE people!’.

When you point this out?  Most of the time you are received with diversion tactics.  How we are to not to be like the ‘world’, and how we are to be obedient, and maybe my biggest problem is I would rather go with my sinful nature than to follow God’s ways!

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).

Key point here is renewing of your mind.  Rules, and ugly attitudes don’t do that.  Being defensive doesn’t do that.  Informing others they are being ‘worldly’ when they don’t agree with something doesn’t do that either.  Matter of fact – its immodest.

Galatians 5:¹³ You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh^[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love. ¹⁴ For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”^[b]15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

1. Galatians 5:13 In contexts like this, the Greek word forflesh (sarx) refers to the sinful state of human beings, often presented as a power in opposition to the Spirit; also in verses 16, 17, 19 and 24; and in 6:8.

(6:⁸ Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.)

Modesty is about acknowledgement, humility and grace…

In other words, the attitude a Christian should reflect is one that focuses on the needs and interests of others. Without question, that does not come naturally to us.

You don’t justify your immodest behavior, and then wonder WHY you can’t keep your attendance numbers high…and the youth don’t go to church once they are old enough to say NO! 

Studies have shown they might get new people from other churches, or the children of church members.  Majority of their numbers come from those sources.  That’s not growth, and it should be a red flag!  Their pride refuses to acknowledge their immodest behavior!

Jesus – his way is attractive, welcoming, and loving.  That doesn’t mean you don’t get rebuked, but it is done with the proper attitude.  Sadly, churches today to often do NOT reflect this.  They would rather listen to the ‘amen’ crowd then take the speck out of their own eye.  This also does not reflect a modest stature.

While they give others speeches on how men are visual, and how women cause their brothers to stumble…people are asking them about their attitude and delivery.  People get the response that its more YOUR problem than their CONTENT or DELIVERY!  This also is immodest. 

They know something is wrong, and when you try to point it out?  They won’t receive criticism, rebuke, or even consider that other’s may have point.  They are told ‘they just want to do life by the world’s standard!”  Funny how they never see that response as reflective of them.  This is being defensive…also immodest.

They do not make themselves approachable, and they can be kind if you stay clear of certain subjects or points of views. 

¹⁶ So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. ¹⁷ For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever^[c] you want. ¹⁸ But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
¹⁹ The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality,impurity and debauchery; ²⁰ idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹ and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Modesty in behavior exists when people act appropriately in specific settings. It includes being polite and respectful to others.  Christians are seen as intolerant, because their behavior or words show that they are not tolerant, polite, nor respectful.  Yes, you can present your opinion without coming across as nasty.  When you can’t do that?  Its immodest.

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴ Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵ Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. ²⁶ Let us not become conceited,provoking and envying each other.

Pastor throwing a hissy fit, and shows immodest behavior

Here is a pastor that thinks to much of himself, and his message.  He does NOT follow the proper way of approaching something he feels is sinning (Matt. 18), and decides to humiliate him in front of a crowd.  Once the pastor’s juices get flowing he also moves on to others in the crowd, and points out what he sees as their errors.

He states he did everything right.  Jesus wouldn’t do it this way.  When he is called on his misbehavior (news interview) he justifies himself, and says it is love.  What he can’t grasp is his behavior, attitude is immodest… his dress doesn’t mean a damn thing if the rest of definition isn’t present.

The loving thing to do is call these pastor’s out on their immodest behavior.  Chances are they won’t receive it, because they are the only ones that are suppose to do that.  How due to their position they are above all that, and you should ‘submit’ to them. 

HELLO!  Modesty is more than a dress code!

Jahmene Douglas Titanium

Recently, I came across a video by a young many named Jahméne Douglas.  From what I understand he is in a competition on the show called, X Factor.  They judge forms of entertainment on this show, and Mr. Douglas sings. 

 

 

 

If you take a look at his audition you can see why he is so popular right now.  He just blew the judges socks off!

 

Jahmene Douglas audition sings Etta James ‘At Last”

 

He released a song recently called, ‘Titanium’.  All its proceeds are going to the domestic violence organization in England.

 

Jahmene, 22, who still suffers after witnessing Mandy being tortured with a blowtorch by his dad, is also a youth ambassador for the charity. His first single will be released next week and he has vowed to donate his profits to Women's Aid, as a way to continue improving services for domestic abuse victims.

 

He speaks about the domestic violence he grew up with, and how his father went to jail for the last time he tortured his mother.  Sadly, he lost his brother to suicide and it was said he did this because he couldn’t take the pressure, torture of the family dynamics that plagued him his whole life.

 

He speaks about how his faith helped him in his childhood, and how he made the decision to be opposite of his father as far as demeanor and his abusive nature.  He seems like a shy young man, and very devoted to his mother.  He looks forward to having his own wife and family once the time comes.

 

I have enclosed his video called, Titanium.  All profits from the sale of this song will go towards the Women’s Refuge, and help those dealing with domestic violence.

 

Jahmene Douglas Titanium

 

Here are the Lyrics:

 

You shout it loud, but I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud, not saying much
I'm criticized, but all your bullets ricochet
you shoot me down, but I get up

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
fire away, fire away
ricochet, you take your aim
fire away, fire away
you shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium
you shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium

Cut me down, but it's you who'll have further to fall
Ghost town and haunted love
Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones
I'm talking loud, not saying much

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
fire away, fire away
ricochet, you take your aim
fire away, fire away
you shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium
you shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium

I am titanium

I am titanium

Stone hard, machine gun
Fired at the ones who run
Stone hard, as bulletproof glass

You shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium

I am titanium

 

X Factor finalist Jahmene Douglas proudly shows off his brave mother Mandy at Empowering Women Awards

Mandy Wood (his mother) donation page for Domestic Violence

Me winning would give mum that hope she's always needed to move on

X Factor's Jahmene Douglas: “My mother’s screams will stick with me until the day I die”

The Church Hurt ME! Should we say that?

Should we be saying, “The Church Hurt Me”?  This was a title of a rebuke article over at the Gospel Coalition this last week. 

 

I thought to myself – WOW talk about bad taste to bring up such a thing after some pretty ugly opinions in the light of the ‘alleged’ victims of C.J. Mahaney’s network of churches.  Remember this was just a week PRIOR!

 

Are they seriously that out of touch?

 

Remember this tends to be a figure of speech.  Most of the time people are referring to a principal of hurt they experienced at a church.  The author went the literal route.  As in every Christian on earth, and every Christian Organization HURT me. 

 

I guess if it wasn’t published so quickly after the SGM Scandal I might not have such a bad taste in my mouth.  I would still think it was a bad approach being so literal, but it wouldn’t seem so ugly if the circumstances were NOT as they are!

 

Timing is key at times, and under the circumstances the author seems to be speaking of some petty things in comparison to the ‘alleged’ lawbreakers at Sovereign Grace Ministries they supported just a week prior.  When you think the of heat they took after their statements?  It looks really bad.

 

Here are some items the article brought up for discussion.

• Failure to hear the person's feedback on controversial issue.
  Refusal of certain type of service.
  Church member offending you in some way

Now, under normal circumstances I can see addressing these items.  Yes, some people do get very hurt or dismayed at church.  Heck I suppose even as ‘literally’ as the author wrote to be as well. 

Although since we aren’t under normal circumstances?  Taking a phrase that people use – when you are under criticism of enabling ‘alleged’ lawbreakers? 

Timing of this type of rebuke is just distasteful.

 

The Universal Church

The person could mean the big-C Church has hurt them–all Christians everywhere. That sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? But think about it. When a person says “The church has hurt me” and they’re refusing to visit or join any local congregation of believers they have practically projected their hurt onto the entire universal body of Christ! They have assigned their offense to every possible Christian and Christian congregation imaginable. Practically, their distrust has reached universal proportions. In every case this is false. We might provide some of our best care by helping our friends recognize the practical universalism in some of their reactions. Hopefully we can get them to dial it down to the next possible  level.

 

The person could also mean Sovereign Grace Ministries under C.J Mahaney’s authority, and the brotherhood of pastors that stood by him due to friendship.  OH YES, as they also threw the victims under the bus! 

 

Again most of the time people are talking about a ‘circumstance’, and to try to make your point by being ‘literal’?  Universalism maybe?

 

Some have every reason for the mistrust, and not everyone that gets ‘hurt by the church’ means EVERY universal aspect of Christianity.  Your application is ridiculous!

 

Maybe we need to, “Check to see if someone is referring to a principal of a circumstance – and not literal’. 

 

Sounds a little silly to ask people to ‘dial it down’, because honestly?  He used the same extremes he accuses others of. 

 

I realize the author most likely wasn’t addressing this group of individuals, but more along the types of circumstances he mentioned.  I get that.  Problem is when the wounds are fresh like they are?  You need to at least mention something to them.  You should understand that some of them have said the very same things, and for good reasons.

 

You don’t write an article to rebuke people over petty items compared to the here and now circumstances his own ministry is dealing with (Rebukes of their support).  Can we get real here for a moment?

 

Sadly, they are showing how completely insulated they are from the world their audience lives in.  Honestly?  All it would have taken is a short disclaimer.  I have no doubt he doesn’t even grasp how ugly this sounds.

 

Shall we look at his points?

 

1. Take your pain to the Lord who bore your pain and bore the sin of those who offended. In His arms are 10,000 charms.

2. Take your heart to the ones who actually offended you and seek reconciliation–and if necessary take godly, impartial help.

 

When I see this type of instruction it is rather patronizing to those that are mourning families involved with the Sovereign Grace Ministries scandal.  People that have ‘allegedly’ been harmed by forms of ‘spiritual abuse’, and manipulating scripture to fit an ideology.

 

If we glance at some of the family stories you will find a small child right out of ‘toddlerhood’ being asked to come to a meeting with their pedophile for ‘reconciliation’, and to show forgiveness.  The leadership of the church called this meeting – not the wounded family. When the leadership was called out on this type of thing?  They ignored the rebuke, and a lawsuit followed.  I hope you asked them to dial down their ‘universalism.

 

This family was ‘hurt by the church’.  Figure of speech – not literal!

 

What seems to be a pattern with some churches to never use ‘traumatic’ events like this, and it is what most think of when others speak of being hurt by the church.  After what happened recently?  Why wouldn’t they?

 

When you are writing an article like this on the coat tails of your followers being highly offended by using ‘friendship’ as a basis for ignoring this type of pain?  It would be common sense to view the article being presented in bad taste – and even offensive.  Did you acknowledge those comments under your article?

 

You see the brotherhood of pastors refused to acknowledge those they ‘offended’, and cut off the paths to reconciliation.  Remember the removing of their statement off Facebook when they didn’t like the comments?  Placing it on another website, and closing the comments completely?  Its sad that they don’t see how tacky that is – at the very least!

 

3. Stop saying, “The church hurt me.” It’s affecting your heart toward an entire congregation, many of whom are likely unaware and uninvolved in your hurt, and possibly affecting your heart toward all Christians everywhere. Don’t blame “the church.” Don’t spread your “hurt” over a wider area. If you do, it will dominate you. But if you target your pain and your reconciliation efforts–making it as small and specific as you can–you’ll experience greater control over and freedom from the hurt.

 

Stop taking a general term that most can realize the meaning of, and hinting that your definition only is appropriate one under the circumstances.

 

Most people can ‘discern’ what people are driving at by talking to them when they use this term.  In most circumstances a validation with a pure heart and intent could move mountains, and will crush the domination you see.

 

If you can’t reach people where they are?  Those very TRUE statements you do mention will be completely loss in the translation by most.  You should know that by now.  Please.  THINK!

 

4. Do realize that not every church hurt you and people are not “all the same.” Find a local church you can join. Start slow if you need to. But let the Lord’s manifold grace come to you in the fellowship of His people. That’s normally how He comforts us in our trouble and pain (2 cor. 1).

 

Do you realize when people say this term that their definition does not always align your all compassing one. You see most adults realize that people are not ‘all the same’, and if I were guessing figured that out in childhood.  Please tell us that wasn’t lost on you!

 

OH!  Can you clue the preacher boys in that people that don’t agree with their interruptions of scripture aren’t all evil feminists, or emasculated males?   You see they do give the strong impression that those that don’t agree are ‘all the same’ in that manner.  Matter of fact they make some very strong statements to that effect. 

 

5. Live in hope. Your Lord is also Lord of the Church. He cares for your brokenness but also the brokenness of the Church. And guess what? Your pain is the means He will use to teach the church to grow in love and their love will be the means of your healing. The church needs your hurt and you need the church’s love.

 

That would start if people would speak out against the authoritarian nature of some churches or Christian Organizations, and acknowledge humans tend to use their positions within the hierarchy to ignore the hurt.  Yes, its just that important!

 

The ‘church’ is good at giving you examples all the time on ways to show your love for them, but sadly are NOT very receptive to rebuke when their own ‘authority’ it gets out of hand.   Sadly, it’s a part of human nature that makes them extremely uncomfortable to admit.  Placing the words like:  Biblical or Godly in front of their statements, names, etc. doesn’t always make it so.  People are noticing!

 

Just so I’m clear – most realize that churches aren’t ‘all the same’ in that realm.  Too many are, and it would help if people like yourself dropped the spiritual spin on things and spoke out against them.  Just think of the healing that could take place, and the reconciliation that could start upon that acknowledgement!

 

Lead by Example!

 

Tell the preacher boys that claim the lawsuit, and charges against CJ Mahaney were NOT about ‘founding a ministry’.  How they are intelligent enough to know that, and instead of just deleting that sentence in their statement?  It would look a bit more transparent if they acknowledged the statement was foolish, defensive, and an outright untruth!

 

Remind them that YES friendship can be strong at times, and they can still be friends in private.  BUT when it comes to professionalism within a ministry under such terrible circumstances?  Its not a ‘biblical’ basis of innocence, and their opinions of his character don’t change that.

 

As hard as it is for them they MUST acknowledge that a statue of limitations doesn’t mean there is no grounds for suspicion or lack of guilt.  They wrote this statement from their own emotional state at this time, and their attempt at diversion out of loyalty was sin.

 

Your article asked:  ‘Should we be saying, The Church Hurt ME?’  Yes, unless you have an audience that tends to take things too literally. 

 

There are times to take the literal approach, but sadly in this circumstance?  No.  HECK even if your audience DID say it under the circumstances that you listed?  You tend to look as silly as they do.