Sunday, April 08, 2007

Monties Blog and article on abuse

Posted by Hannah at 11:48 AM

Here is the link in question: LINK

This blogger doesn't tell people to STAY in the relationship if there is abuse. The blogger it seems doesn't seem to understand what emotional abuse is.

Recently one lady told me that "there was no difference between emotional abuse and physical abuse". That is an untrue statement. Emotional abuse is where someone systematically attacks your feelings. Physical abuse is where someone physically attacks you.

There is difference of course, but emotional abuse is hardly just attacking someone's feelings! I have this feeling it was taken out of context! The effects of emotional and physical abuse are just as destructive. The author sadly downplays this. If he spoke to any man, woman or children that is targeted in depth he may change his mind.

You made a committment, when you walk away from that committment you have broken your vows. Its as simple as that. After you made that committment (and often sealed it by having childrent) it is your responsibility to do what you can to make the marriage work. Too many spouses (mostly women) unjustly accuse their husbands of abuse that never occured as a way to justify leaving the marriage. If you don't believe me on this point, look at the number of abuse allegations that turn out to be unfounded. I've seen statistics as high as 50% (based on court findings). However, there are significant number of cases where spouses (men and women) who are abused by their spouse and that is wrong.

What this author doesn't seem to understand is how hard abuse is to prove. That is quickly proven by asking people that work in the system such as police, judges, etc. I have heard to many people state that their lawyers recommended that they go 'no fault' because of the cost, and the chances of getting any verdict against their spouse. I'm not going to say that spouses (even women lol) don't accuse people of abuse, and there wasn't any! I think we all know that happens! It shows ignorance on those blogger's part to insist that MANY spouses use abuse for justification to divorce! Most of the time if abuse is mentioned it doesn't really go anywhere people find!

Again I'm not so sure alot of people realize the impact of this issue on people. Its sad that both men, women and children have to suffer until people decide they can face this issue.

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