Sunday, July 03, 2005

At times I ask WHY NOT ME!

Posted by Hannah at 12:39 AM

I saw a note on a board the other night. It really stuck me because it had “concepts” that I believe a lot of us deal with. I will try to rephrase what I read…..

“”””What do you do when everything in life keeps going against you and you want to give up?

Is it God's will for everyone to be successful in life or is prosperity and good fortune only for a chosen few? I am going through a difficult time right now and need God to help me. I trust in His mercy and wisdom but sometimes it is hard when you see others doing well and I some times ask, why not me? Can anyone else relate?””””

What a normal thing to go thru. LOL! I mean REALLY! I see families that support each other in crisis, and it seems at times I have myself! LOL only! I envy spouses that have other spouses that at least TRY to understand and support the uglies of this world!

I had a matter in my life that may seem trivia to some because of their extreme natures of their lifes…but to me I was lost! Here is part of my reply to this person! Remember those outside the abuse world were reading!

“””””I think we all have our time on the pity pot! LOL! I know I do!

I had all my female plumbing yanked in November of last year. I fell into a depression of sorts, and pretty much gave up on everything. The doctors claim it is part due to the hormones going wacky, but I also know it is due to my personal situation. My husband has major health issues that won't ever go away. His attitude has dipped into an ugly state worse by the years. My son has a condition called encopesis, which is a colon disorder - which is sounds like he inherited from his grandfather. The public school was giving me all kinds of business over this. Meanwhile my husband was being anything but supportive. LOL! Before the operation I tried like anything just to keep our family afloat. I had the drive and the attitude that everything will work out somehow! As things got worse I fought my way to keep that attitude going. When the time came for my operation my husband basically left any obligation of family behind in a sense. He told me that I needed to handle things because he couldn't. I knew that time was near when I wouldn't be able to care for things. I was totally lost and very hurt. I did keep going though. LOL I mean what else could I do! I made plans for the kids care while I was gone, and I did things to make sure the house was in order until there was a time in which I could continue. I think my husband basically went into his own pity pot mode there for while. His health issues had pretty much consumed our lives together so far, and I was very hurt that my "issue" at the time didn't take on any real importance. My plans for childcare, transportation etc fell thru at the last moment. I will tell you that I was totally down in the dumps at that point. He had no choice but to pick up the ball with childcare, and my mother brought me to the hospital. Friends of mine brought food to the house, and made phone calls to take care of other things. My husband...LOL...well! He still didn't get it! My kids had a NO HOMEWORK day at school, and wanted him to take them to see me. He brought them to the wrong if you can believe that! He called to complain about how he didn't know where I was yet hospital paperwork was all over the kitchen counter! The kids were crying on the phone about how he didn't take them to see me. He had to ask his mother for specific directions to my hospital and brought them the next day. He was so full of how he had to do things because I wasn't there - that he never called while I was there. I called at night to say goodnight to the kids. My operation went hours longer than it should, and yet he never asked of my situation. He came to the hospital and voiced his issues of "how he was next" to the staff when they wanted to update him. LOL My recovery was no picnic either!

His selfishness over his illness really cost me. He was lost in his own world, and basically I was forgotten. At least that is how I felt. But as I look back I see that things happened that I never dreamed about. Those two friends that brought food for the freezer. LOL I had enough food for WEEKS afterwards! My church made sure I had rides for my kids back and forth to school during the period of time I couldn't drive - they go to school there and no bus service! People sent me flowers in the hospital with humorous cards! I got phone calls from people everyday! Once I got home people came over to take me out to lunch or whatever because they knew of my "cabin fever" tendencies. LOL! A friend of mine drove me home from the hospital because I was going to wait for my folks to come long distance - or wait until my husband could arrange it - and they KNEW I needed to get out of there ASAP! LOL! Brought me home - made my bed - gave me lunch etc. Even got my meds from the drugstore!

Sure things didn't work out the way people think they should. But I think God made sure I had people there when I needed them! I had things done for me that I never dreamed would happen! My small business took a hit afterwards because my depression hit. I'm still trying to dig myself out of that one. LOL but I will!

I think that experience taught me some stuff - and reminded me of others! I still struggle with the Husband and his health is still going downhill even after two operations after mine. I'm not so sure we will ever dig ourselves out in the "world" terms. But you know what? I have friends and people that care about my family and me! I found my church had a school that accepted my son's health condition! I have people will give us food and phone me with support - if I need it! Sure I feel bad I don't have the $$ to send my kids to camp or a sports activity like I would like. It would be nice not have to worry about where the next HUGE amount of money comes from so that I can get some extras in the grocery store. LOL but I least I have the basics! I have people with pools, and a park to play ball! We can even take the tent out and park it in the backyard for a camping experience! LOL!

The roof over my head, the food on my table and the fact that we are still here - health wise LOL is more than a lot of people I hear about in the news! God gave me so many blessings. I have my children that I love! My parents, friends, church, etc. LOL the list goes on - maybe not by world standards do I have a lot! But when I look at it - I have more than most!

When Life pees in your cheerios! LOL look for the fruit! Its there! You just have to pick it out and wash it off! LOL! I know ugh........ lol but still! Be thankful for the fruit! LOL more than others have! I look at it as a present! Others just have their cheerios ...lolololol.... but I have the fruit!

God gives you even small little miracles in life - you just have to sit back to see them! LOL they are enough if you think about it! AND they aren't so small then!

End of post……….

1 Tim 6:
3 If anyone teaches other doctrine and does not agree with the sound teaching of our Lord Jesus Christ and with the teaching that promotes godliness, 4 he is conceited, understanding nothing, but having a sick interest in disputes and arguments over words. From these come envy, quarreling, slanders, evil suspicions, 5 and constant disagreement among men whose minds are depraved and deprived of the truth, who imagine that godliness is a way to material gain.
6 But godliness with contentment is a great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out. 8 But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with these. 9 But those who want to be rich fall into temptation, a trap, and many foolish and harmful desires, which plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and by craving it, some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains. 11 Now you, man of God, run from these things; but pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight for the faith; take hold of eternal life, to which you were called and have made a good confession before many witnesses.

Mt 6:33
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.

Another person said something along the lines of…………..


Anything, which takes first priority in our hearts, is what we love most and so worship, for where our treasure is, so our heart is also.

Once God is our all in all, then if He blesses us in the physical realm, it will not be a threat to our heart with Him, or be something which may become and idol. There are scriptures going both ways about this: "He has chosen the poor of the earth to be rich in faith", and "if you are willing and obedient, you will eat of the best of the land".

What I have seen is that when we have been faithful in the small things, we can be trusted with greater things.

Our true home is within where God dwells in the heart, and we are to be consumed with prospering in His ways within us, and not in externals which may or may not come


end of

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