Counsel of Doctrine instead of Mercy

There are some days I can be so strong, and others times I feel like maybe I just bury myself and give up.

I pray that I never become to so closed minded that I can't see and feel the pain of others.  I hope others will point out when I'm being to non chalet about other people's issues.

Goodness knows when you are dealing with domestic violence within the church - or any faith to be honest it seems - you know and live that pain of being ignored and silenced.

So many men, woman and children have been scarred by this.  So many have left the faith, and others rode out on a rail when they couldn't numb their broken heart. 

I was catching up on my reading, and twittering some articles and such.  I came across some good articles, and those that just broke me up.

I just don't understand WHY people place such huge barriers up to NOT understand a family's pain.  I get so tired of fighting, and yet I feel this is something I have been truly called to do.

I have a real issue with crying, and since my father died I finally gave myself permission to start.  Strange huh?   WELL today it seems a day to just let loose!

I think so many people that live by doctrine must truly feel that is the best way, but they just can't handle the road blocks that doctrine doesn't address.  There is a man that is the 'no remarriage camp' that isn't nasty or unloving as so many others in that area.  He seems to get it to a point when domestic violence and the church tends to lock heads - he stops and thinks.  Then later mercy, grace tend to take a back seat after a while and doctrine prevails.

The key, however, to keep in mind is that he is still her husband. She is to love with a love that always hopes, perseveres and never ends. A love that doesn't record wrongdoings. She is to forgive with a forgiveness that is always open to reconciliation upon true repentance. For this is how she is loved and how she hopes to be forgiven. 

It is easy to create a god who desires happiness above holiness. True happiness, however, true blessedness, comes through holiness. Is the cross of remaining faithful to an unfaithful spouse too much to bear in the 21st century? Is this a cross we are no longer expected to carry? The awesome thing is that we need not carry it alone.

I felt slimed when he spoke of how he seems to think victims of abuse are looking for 'happiness' above holiness.  I hate to admit it, but some days I swear I would love to haul off and just HIT people when I hear that.  I would never do that of course, but BOY is that feeling within me.  I normally have to do a short prayer to calm me down, or take a walk and have these conversations with Jesus before I go on to address such ignorance!

WHO do these people think they are telling victims they are after 'happiness' with that shamed based tone?  Does doctrine indeed ask people to take all logic and common sense and THROW it out the window?  HAPPINESS?  Seriously? 

I wrote a long post to this gentlemen, and after I was done?  I just had to cry my eyes out.  Why is empathy, consideration, and any sort of true MORALITY seem to be missing in the teachings these people seem to be brain washed with?

Where is the human ethic in such teachings?  Do they NOT have any moral standings at all?

They tell people to hold on for dear life because SOME DAY God will turn abusers into prodigal sons!  The bible speaks of those that never turn to God, and yet doctrine people tell you that you must play a different game of  'hope' compared to the one you used when dealing with the abusive person.

They always have HOPE for that person, but never have HOPE for the victims.  They always do it wrong.  You ever notice that?

WHY is it people think victims are after 'happiness' when in truth its called SURVIVAL?   WHY is it people DOUBT their forgiveness when reconciliation didn't happen, or when the abuser HARMS again and it angers you?

GOD when are people going to grasp you are allowed to use COMMON SENSE, and you don't ask us to live in a FANTASY land of 'happily ever after'?  When will they realize how much they are hurting us instead of helping?  How do we show them the struggle they refuse to see, and yet is right in front of them?  When will they see that survivors of abuse are stronger than those that counsel such hurtful garbage?

Be June Cleaver not Murphy Brown!

I wanted to move to the Next Video from a previous True Women's Conference.  The last portion I spoke about Part One - You've Come a Long Way Baby!

Mary Kassian states that the Leave it to Beaver had been replaced by The Mary Tyler Moore show.

By the late 1960s, the image of June Cleaver being happy at home in her role as wife and mother were gone by the wayside, replaced by the 1970s Mary Tyler Moore image of a pretty, single woman in her 30s pursuing a career at a television station. The show was lauded as a breakthrough because it had the first, independent, attractive career woman as the center.

It discreetly implied that Mary was single. She was on the pill. She was also sexually active, but the focus of the show was on her career, not on her association with men. She truly was on her own, without a recurring father or husband or boyfriend or anyone looking out for her. Every episode, the theme song proudly alluded to her autonomy. “You're gonna make it after all.” Okay? A lot of you women remember that. You remember that. You're shaking your heads.

YES Mary came to Minneapolis after her engagement fell apart, and applied for a Reception position yet was offered a producer job instead.  The theme song for the show was called, Love Is All Around.  If we stop and think about the line 'your going to make it after all'? It makes sense!  I'm sure she came to that town totally broken hearted, and wondered where her life was going to go at that point.

It was upbeat, and truly nothing ominous about it.  I don't mean to be a negative nelly here, but it was a good show at the time.  Its focus wasn't on any of what she mentioned, and I don't understand why she brings this show up for her points.  I mean if the engagement didn't break down?  Maybe she would have been another Mrs. Cleaver.

Murphy Brown

In the 1980s, we're introduced to Murphy Brown, an investigative journalist and news anchor for FYI, a fictional TV news magazine. In contrast to the gentle sweetness of Mary Tyler Moore, this character, Murphy Brown, has a loud mouth, is rash, driven, self-assured, self-absorbed, and highly opinionated. She is a divorcee and a proud atheist, and during the course of the series, Murphy becomes pregnant but chooses not to marry her baby's father. A man would cramp her style. She has the child none-the-less and leaves the baby in the care of a revolving door of nannies so she can pursue her career. The child is merely a side in the plot that revolves around Murphy's self-actualization in the workplace.

There are alot of people in power - and she was powerful - that had that power corrupt them and others.  That's hardly a gender factor if you look at history.  I can understand why she picked this character, because Murphy Brown seems like the character they use to show you how 'feminism' is bad.  The problem comes that most of us don't live the Murphy Brown life.

Being someone that has a loud mouth, is rash, driven, self-assured, self-absorbed, and highly opinionated can be tagged to most of the broken world.  They may or may not be so in your face about it as Murphy was, but these traits for humans were present - and were alive - well before any movement started.

Tickle for Tuesday

Today I wanted to show a TICKLE for Tuesday!

My daughter and her friends video taped my 14 year old Siamese taking on our 6 month old lab puppy at the time.

The cat has no claws in the front, and the puppy thinks its funny when he bats him in the face.

This was one of the rare times the cat HAD enough, and surprised the puppy by nipping him!

The puppy to this day still realizes WHO the top dog is, and it isn't HIM!



Characters:

We have come a long way BABY!

I was viewing some items on youtube, and came across the video sessions of the Mary Kassian: True Woman '08 Conference, "You've Come A Long Way, Baby!". To me they sprinkled some truth, and then twisted to make it sound good. She mentions she grew up during the time she speaks about. I grew up then as well, and I noticed she doesn't bring up the 'not so great' portions of that era.




I am WOMAN hear me ROAR!

Mary Kassian stated she remembers singing the song, "I am Woman", and I will admit I remembering singing it myself. I guess to say it made me feel a bit empowered at the time would say I swallowed the entire women's movement hook, line and sinker right? I must have gone over to the radical, extreme feminist's view of viewing the world!

Ahem. Wrong!

I was a child back then, and when all this was going on? WELL let me give you a couple of giggles about that:


I wanted to play baseball on the leagues with the boys. I wanted it so bad I could TASTE it! I couldn't because girls don't play baseball. Well they were NOT allowed to play baseball on leagues anyway. You could cheer the boys on, and maybe sell candy! That made me MAD! YEP I wanted to ROAR!

I played in the neighborhood, and was better than some of those boys that were on the baseball teams. I was born GIRL, and that was the only reason I couldn't play baseball with the leagues. My folks were always asking me to TAKE off the baseball cap, and leave my mitt at home. I needed to be 'ladylike'. I hated that TERM!

HEAR ME ROAR AGAIN all to due to being labeled 'GIRL'!

Mom decided one summer she would talk me into short hair! As I look back at the time I knew it was more due to HAIR wars! I had long, thick hair back then. It took FOREVER to get a comb and brush through it, and that was due to activities I liked to participate in. YES baseball was one of them! I'm sure my short hair made my mother's life a bit less stressful!

During that summer after my paper route and chores were done I spent my time at the community POOL! At the time LONG hair caused all kinds of issues with pool maintenance.

Guess what I was thinking?

Remember these ugly things?

WOO HOO no more SWIM CAPS! Heck my hair was shorter than most of the BOYS! Come to find out it didn't matter.

I was GIRL, and GIRLS wore swim caps regardless!

I guess it was just GIRL's hair that caused the issues with the pools? NOPE it was LONG hair they said, but boys with hair down the middle of their back could swim with no caps!