Monday, November 24, 2008

Domestic Violence - Story on Pastor's considering role

Posted by Hannah at 7:46 PM

I found a news article today on the Morning News . It spoke of how a group of pastor's came and listened to a presentation about domestic violence. I thought it was well written and hard hitting........let me know what you think?

Local pastors consider role in addressing domestic violence

By Jamie Rogers (
Morning News Reporter
Published: October 29, 2008

FLORENCE — Local pastors considered their role in preventing and treating domestic violence in their communities during an engaging and, at times, spirited roundtable discussion on Wednesday in Florence.

The faith leaders roundtable was held by the Pee Dee Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual and was one of many events being held in conjunction with October being recognized as Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

The Rev. Carl Smith, president of Redeeming the Time, which specializes in biblical treatment of domestic violence batterers, moderated the event.

South Carolina consistently ranks as one of the top 10 states in domestic violence, Smith said.

That is why it’s more pertinent than ever for religious leaders to be agents of safety, he said.

Roundtable participants agreed pastors must be willing to get in the pulpit and speak to their congregations about domestic violence.

“We have a mandate to meet the needs of the people through the gospel of Jesus Christ,” minster Elaine Baldwin, who participated in the discussion, said. “Domestic violence is an issue in this community, and just because people refuse to talk about it doesn’t mean it isn’t real. It is real.”

Some pastors are aware their parishioners are abusive to their spouses or partners but choose to skirt the issue, Smith said. Some pastors even blame the victim and tell them to go back to an abusive spouse, he said.

“Don’t be telling her to go back, pray harder and make a better supper. Don’t you dare do that!” Smith said.

Pastors should be willing to say the word “divorce” from the pulpits, although a well-planned separation might be a better option, Davis said.

Whether it be during a divorce or a separation, this is a critical time for the victim, he said.

“This is the most dangerous point in her life, when she’s trying to leave,” Smith said. “He’ll do any- and everything to track her down.”

Abusive mates often become enraged and determined to do serious harm to their fleeing partners, he said. One of the best ways to stop domestic violence is to change the attitude and behavior of the batterer, Smith said.

“Until somebody he respects faces him and says he shouldn’t be doing that, he won’t stop,” Davis said. “We pastors have to be willing to have the guts to say it.”

Roundtable participants agreed that churches should support local domestic violence awareness groups that help domestic violence victims and treat their abusive partners.

The Pee Dee Coalition is working to form a regional faith-based advisory council that would help pastors aid in the fight against domestic violence.

Anyone with information about possible cases of domestic violence is encouraged to contact the nearest law enforcement agency.

In addition, the Pee Dee Coalition provides assistance and resources designed to help victims of this crimes and can be reached at any time at (843) 669-4600 or (800) 273-1820.

I was disappointed when I saw the comments were closed. I was blown away when I read the one they GOT!

Posted by ( florencesc ) on October 29, 2008 at 8:53 pm

Here we go again, who do you work for Mr. Durant, the newspaper or Pee Dee Coalition. What, did they call you and tell you they were staging this event? Everyone seems to be on a faith-based kick, why? Do they suspect that it works or is it the trend? We have the utmost respect for Pastors, especially the ones who remember the seperation of church and state. I know it’s an emotional issue and many people have died at the hands of domestic violence. Our hearts and prayers go out to each and every victim and family. What we are saying is don’t allow yourselves, as pastors to become the centerpiece and platform for Pee Dee Coalition. Your were ordained and blessed with Gods Word to handle any and all problems for which you seek guidance. You don’t need Pee Dee Coalition to tell you about divorce or any other related matter that deals with God’s children. As a Pastor, people come to you in confidence seeking guidance and assistance with all sorts of domestic issues, some of which are abusive and violent. Let God be your guide and not the statistics that Pee Dee Coalition quotes to you. I am very sure that Pee Dee Coalition’s concern for life and safety is very valid. If you are not careful you’ll be the justification for the next state or federal grant they receive, regardless of whose life was loss or saved. Stick to your pulpit and church as you provide guidance and assistance to those who seek you out. Don’t allow yourself to be used by the state or any agent thereof. Domestic violence is a serious issue but let the state, i.e. Pee Dee Coalition do their own thing and assist in any way they can, separate from what you do. We noticed that in your article they seemed to suggest a topic for the pulpit. Let God be your guide! To all the victims and families of domestics violence, I know that you have been and are being emotionally and possibly physically abused, and we would be the first to say that we are all here to assist you in any way we can. All we are saying is don’t become a victim of a system or agency that simply needs you to justify their next grant. Pastors you are doing fine on your own, trust in God that you will continue to do your best in assisting those who come to you in need.

SINCE I can't leave a comment for this person - I will write it here!

It amazes this a pastor or a representative of one would leave a post of this manner! How completely insulting! Do you realize how many pastor's DON'T have a clue about this issue, and DO send their church member home? They are enabling illegal behavior, and your condoning it! The church has been silent on matter for way to long, and there are PLENTY of victims left dead, injured, or completely broken. Some that survived have left the church - I pray not forever! There is NOTHING wrong with getting into the pulpit, and preaching about the sin of domestic violence! I would assume from your statement your church is not a safe one, or maybe its fear of the subject. If it is hate towards the organization that you writing about then you need to check your bible for the proper bibical attitude, because you SURE aren't showing it! I'm not familiar with Pee Dee Coalition, but if they woke some pastors up GOOD FOR THEM! I'm sure those pastor's are able to figure out the biblical stand on what they learned without someone writing with a tone of contempt!

Would LOVE your comments! I hope those pastor's do considering their roles when it comes to domestic violence! The Cheraw Chronicle also wrote about this event!

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alhe on 1:57 PM said...


This is what has been happening the last 3 years

Hannah on 2:49 PM said...

Find yourself a new support system! From what I read on your site - your pastor is WAY off! He is enabler which makes him dangerous!

Barbara on 4:57 AM said...

To Alhe
I feel for you. Your pastor is condoning and supporting abuse. He is either ignorant or worse. I agree with Hannah; find others who believe you as it is easier to take action if you are believed. Try looking at the other blog sites that Hannah recommends, and also try my site
You might find an article I have written especially helpful: it's called "Unhelpful comments, and how to answer them." You can find it under my resources tab.

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