Teacher had Class VOTE to remove their fellow childmate OUT!

Morningside Elementary teacher Wendy Portillo had a vote last week with her class to teach a child a lesson about how his behavior effected his classmates. She felt that maybe if he heard this from someone else besides adults he may grasp the situation better, and respect others in a more proper fashion.


According to Slate:

Alex, who is autistic, was taken to the assistant principal, to whom he promised he would "not kick students, throw crayons, eat crayons, crawl under the table, kick the table of other students ... [or] disrupt the class," according to a police report. (See excerpts below and on the following six pages.) The assistant principal tucked in Alex's shirt, put his "shoes on the right feet and tied them," and sent Alex back to class. During Alex's absence, his teacher, Wendy Portillo, "gathered the students to talk with them" about the youngster's misbehavior.

When Alex returned, Portillo, who has been teaching in Port Lucie for 12 years, directed the youngster to the front of the room and "asked him to listen to what the children didn't like" about him. According to Alex, the children complained that he "eats paper, picks boogers … and bites his shoelaces," and Portillo herself said, "I hate you right now. I don't like you today." (Page 2). Portillo next "polled the class" about whether to let Alex back in (Page 4). Alex lost the class vote, 14-2, and spent the rest of the school day in the nurse's office. That night, Alex "did not eat dinner [and] would not sleep in his own bed." (Page 2).

The day after Alex's kindergarten show trial, his furious mother contacted the police school resource officer to report Portillo for child abuse. The police officer interviewed Alex ("Mrs. Portillo is very mean," Page 2); the teacher ("the students in class were all her priority," Page 3); and several child witnesses (Pages 5 and 6), and in the end concluded there was no "probable cause" for criminal child abuse (Page 6). The St. Lucie County Public School District is still investigating whether any department regulations were violated.

CBS News had this interview with Alex's mom:



In this video the mother stated that after the classroom took a vote 14 to 2 to kick the student out of her classrom, and she said the child, "How do you feel?" The children said he felt sad. She asked him where he was going to go, and the child mentioned the principals office. The teacher said, "They don't want you there!"

Another portion was that his best friend in the class was also asked if Alex should say in the class, and his friend said he wanted him to stay. The teacher then called on that friend a second time, and I'm sure the poor child felt pressured and finally decided to go along with the crowd.

As a parent of a disabled child this interview made me cry. I have been in situations myself in which I felt all I was doing was defending my child's rights as a human, and adminstrators attempted to strip it away.

There are places popping up all over the place showing support for this child, and attempting to show him how special he is! They are sending cards, and having facebooks made. The child is still struggling as he recounts how the different children in that class were asked to one by one tell Alex WHAT they didn't like about him! Then voting to have him removed. The principal telling the mother that the teacher felt she didn't do anything wrong.





It amazes me the cruelity that people can place upon others. We are talking about a child in kindergarden. How do you think this will effect his view of school from this day forward? I can only imagine!

Adventures In Frickintardistan

TheDeeZone

Have some lively dicussion about this child.

My prayers are with you Alex, and with you as well Ms. Portillo. I don't think you realize how much you took from this child, and I don't CARE how much of a handful he was.

Domestic Violence and the Church

Exeter CRC had an article called, "Domestic Violence and the Church"

It spoke of her own personal journey dealing with this issue, and how the church failed her!

Its VERY moving!

Annette - one of the responses to this article states:

But this has NO bearing on this discussion. Is having women in spiritual leadership over a body of believers biblical? That's what this discussion is about. Not on the horrors of domestic or child abuse, and the bad responses to it.

I recognize that it is easy to link the two, but they are different, and seeing that difference is important.

I say it DOES!




LOL I of course responded!

I'm personally confused by Annette's comments.

'''But this has NO bearing on this discussion. Is having women in spiritual leadership over a body of believers biblical? That's what this discussion is about. Not on the horrors of domestic or child abuse, and the bad responses to it.'''

If you are saying that men only have the spiritual leadership role what is being done about the bad responses to things like mentioned in this article? Seems to me the 'authority' needs some education. Biblically, men are to be servant leaders. That doesn't mean they are boss, and get the last word, etc. They are to be loving serving servants, and they are to place everyone else first. THEY are to come last! ie: Washing feet story among others.

Sadly, this type of story is not uncommon. I guess people would stop questioning the 'authories' if they were doing the job that was biblically given to them. To often when they are questioned others remind the other gender of their 'role'. That is far from being humble - which is another biblical trait of a leader. The only unquestionable authority is God, and its pride when others mention 'roles' (among other things) to encourage others to silence.

Biblical leadership does that have the same meaning as it does in the secular soceity. Jesus states that those that come first must come last. They are to serve all others before themselves.

I think what is lacking is education on how that 'authority' is being played out. Don't close the bible - reread those scriptures! People may be questioning things because the roles they claim they are living are to full of pride of their 'role' and not of servanthood.

When that changes - that will be the day others stop questioning. Stories like this one of domestic violence would be handled properly. Submission to husbands would come naturally as God intended, because they are loving others as Christ loved the church.

Until that happens YES stories like this do apply! It shows that biblical leadership is NOT be given, and you wouldn't be able to see that if others didn't speak out about what it is lacking.

Why are we NOT asking where the bottleneck was within that leadership realm that caused the failure of what could have been healing of all parties involved? Leadership is responsible when they know of such things, and when they refuse to educate themselves on realms of sin such as this. Leadership did know in this case, and Leadership did fail. Calling the elder over for dinner wouldn't have changed a thing.

I believe when leadership is seen as Jesus intended it to be seen - question of leadership would stop. Authority wouldn't be such a hot topic. It happens when leaders in authority fail in their calling.

What does your bible say about that? I know what my bible says! If proper biblical leadership was happening your attempt to show this story has no bearing - which is used as a diversion - wouldn't be needed. Most of these types of stories wouldn't be happening, and sadly that isn't the case!

Its an interesting debate!

What are your thoughts?

Emotional Abuse in the Local Church

Family.org had an article about Emotional Abuse that I wanted to share!


"In the pews of every church, including yours, are women who are victims of abuse,"1 wrote Brenda Branson and Paula Silva in their book, Pastor's Guide—Dealing with Domestic Violence.

Silva is co-founder and vice president of FOCUS Ministries, Inc., one of the few Christian ministries devoted to helping victims of domestic violence and educating pastors on abuse. For Christians and non-Christians alike, the nature of domestic abuse is psychological.

"Emotional abuse is always a component of physical, sexual, and verbal abuse, but it can also stand alone," she says. "In all cases of abuse, the perpetrator uses intimidation, humiliation, isolation and fear to diminish their victim's sense of self and sanity."

Making your church a safer place
Naturally, Christians in emotionally abusive relationships turn to their churches and pastors for help. Some feel loved and accepted unconditionally; others walk away more deeply wounded.

Dr. Tim Clinton, President of the American Association of Christian Counselors, says the impact of emotional abuse can wreak havoc on one's spiritual life.




"It's tough to believe in the fidelity of God, if all you're experiencing is ongoing abuse in your life," he says.

He challenges churches to take time to address these kinds of issues because "it deeply impacts how these women do intimacy with the Father. If our goal is spiritual vitality—spiritual growth and formation—we need to train people in how to do relationships and intimacy better."

Paul Hegstrom goes a step farther, saying that the church often turns a blind eye when confronted by someone who has been emotionally abused.

"It is a sad state of affairs in the church that when a woman has been abused, it seems that the congregation, her friends, and her clergy shy away from dealing with the situation," he writes in Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them—Breaking the Cycle of Physical and Emotional Abuse. "She feels forsaken by those she should be able to lean on the most."2

Forsaken, Hegstrom says, because of an incorrect interpretation of the Scripture.

"Many times in a Church world, submission is held over the heads of women by men who are emotionally manipulative or abusive in order to get their way and maintain power and control."

Do you know someone like this?



Someone like Mark?

He and his wife Janet signed up for a Bible study. Mark instructed Janet not to speak during the Bible study, telling her "women are to keep silent in the churches" (1 Cor. 14:34).

Although Janet had questions, she remained silent in order to "submit" to her husband. Like many abusers, Mark distorted Scripture to manipulate his wife's behavior.

"Ephesians 5:24-28 reminds us that as Christ died for the Church, a man should give his life for his wife,"3 writes Hegstrom.

Caring for victims of emotional abuse
Pastors can help men better understand their biblical role in marriage by providing balanced teaching on Ephesians 5:22-28, offering marriage classes and counseling and modeling a loving relationship with their wives.

Besides helping men understand their role as husbands, Silva says there are ways pastors can show compassion to victims of emotional abuse—and foster a compassionate atmosphere within the church:

Validate her feelings.
Listen to the victim's story.
Provide a safe place for women and children in crisis. Provide wise counsel to victims that will not put her in more danger.
Assess her level of safety, and if she is in danger, take action to help her get to a safe place.
Refer the victim and abuser to a professional Christian counselor who is experienced with domestic violence issues.
Educate yourself, your staff and your congregation on issues of domestic violence.
Invite guest speakers to address the topic.
Include a study on family violence and the prevention of violence in the adult Sunday school curriculum.
Display brochures, newsletters and information about domestic violence where others can easily access them.
Offer support and unconditional love. Connect victims with support groups, prayer partners and provide ongoing emotional and practical support. Prepare to offer support and guidance for years, not days or months, even if the victim is receiving professional counseling.
Confront the abuser in accordance with Matthew 18:15-17. Remove the individual from leadership or fellowship, as appropriate. However, the ultimate goal of confrontation, as emphasized in Galatians 6:1, is repentance and restoration.
Along with loving confrontation, pastors should encourage the abuser to join a treatment program. An organization that can help is Life Skills International, found online at http://www.lifeskillsintl.org/. Founded by Paul Hegstrom, a former abuser, the program addresses abuse from a biblical perspective.



Men, women and children caught in the cycle of emotional abuse need practical, emotional and spiritual support. Shouldn't pastors and churches volunteer for the front lines when it comes to addressing emotional abuse and other forms of domestic violence?

Victims want and need support from their churches. Take steps to make your church a safe place, where victims and their abusers can find grace, love and healing.

Copyright © 2007 Mary J. Yerkes. Used with permission. All rights reserved.

Calvary Baptist's Partnership with the Domestic Violence Shelter

Calvary is initiating the Adopt a Room Program with the Murfreesboro Domestic Violence Shelter

You have to wonder how much the world would be effected if all churches would adopt a room!

Thank you Calvary Baptist!

Domestic Violence and The Church

What do you think??

Husbands, God Hates Divorce… But He Also Hates…

Portion of an article written by: By Kevin McCarthy

What am I getting at? I have personally known men – professing Christian men – who have treated their wives shabbily by intimidating them, domineering them, belittling them, dealing deceitfully with them, ordering them around like slaves, who have seemed to think their wives were their captives because, “God hates divorce.” Yes, God hates divorce, but he also hates these men and what they do. They seem to think that because the Bible tells the wife to submit to her husband, that automatically makes the husband “Dictator for Life” with a mandate for iron-fisted command. They might have heard somewhere that the husband has certain responsibilities towards his wife, but they certainly don’t act as if they have any idea what those responsibilities are, and they fail to see how the husband’s responsibilities actually make him the wife’s servant!



This is written to these men, who proudly proclaim that divorce is not an option (at least for the beleaguered wife) because “God hates divorce”. Do you deal treacherously with the wife and companion of covenant whom God has joined to you? Do you draw the line at divorce, and yet treat your wife like a bond slave or servant? Do you yell at her? Abase her? Threaten her verbally or physically? Do you use God’s Word as a cudgel and beat her with such proclamations as, “The wife must be submissive! You have no choice but to do everything I tell you to do!”? Do you “lord it over your wife”? And when she cannot take the abuse, do you remind her that “God hates divorce!”? God hates what you are doing right now!




Divorce isn’t the only thing that God hates, but some self-righteous men are perfectly willing to practice one or many of these things against their wives so long as they can shackle the poor woman to themselves by means of God’s hatred of divorce. It’s good to be concerned about avoiding things that God hates, but hypocritical to take a stand for something that benefits you while ignoring other things that are equally hated by God, and practicing them on a daily basis. It is hypocritical, also, to insist that the wife kowtow submissively at her husband’s feet, while completely disregarding his God-ordained responsibility to love his wife. “I DO love her!” you insist, but you lack understanding. The Bible is specific regarding not only THAT you love her, but HOW you love her as well. A husband is directed to love his wife AS CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH!



Eph 5:24-33



25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; 26 that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.



Excuse me – HOW is the husband to love his wife? Like our Lord and Savior loves the Church! He is to sacrifice his own desires and needs (so-called) for his wife! He is to give his very life, if called-for, to protect his wife! He is to love her as Christ loves the Church, and do everything for her good rather than his own! He is to nourish and cherish her, at least as much as his own body. This is love, gentlemen! This is Agape love. It is the kind of love we should have for one another (Rom 13:8, Eph 4:2, 1 Thess 3:12, Heb 10:24, etc.). Agape love is the unique telltale of being a Christian (Jn 13:34); sacrificial love, here made especially poignant in the marriage relationship. And it is here connected with a mystery, and that mystery is in the fact that the Christian marriage is a reflection of the relationship Christ has with the Church. He is the bridegroom (Jn 3:29; Rev 18:23), and the Christian husband is to represent Him. The Church is the bride (Jn 3:29; Rev 18:23, 19:7), and the Christian wife is to represent the Church. Think about that, fellas, the next time you shout at your wife because dinner wasn’t ready on time or the laundry wasn’t done. Notice that the wife is not admonished to love the husband in this manner! She is submit and respect her husband, but the husband is to consider her more important than himself, to put her first, and to serve her through his love!



Have you heard this before? Do you know this, and yet refuse to (or claim you are unable to) obey your Lord? Are you sinning against your wife? Are you doing things that God hates, while hypocritically demanding submission and keeping her a prisoner by standing against divorce (God hates it!)? Divorce is not all God hates.



Here are some things that God says He hates, and yet many of these things occur in some “Christian” homes with regularity:



Prov 6:16-19



16 There are six things which the LORD hates,

Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him:

17 Haughty eyes, a lying tongue,

And hands that shed innocent blood,

18 A heart that devises wicked plans,

Feet that run rapidly to evil,

19 A false witness who utters lies,

And one who spreads strife among brothers.



1. Haughty eyes (The pride of position, lording it over another.)

2. A lying tongue

3. Hands that shed innocent blood

4. A heart that devises wicked plans

5. Feet that run rapidly to evil

6. A false witness

7. One who spreads strife among brothers



Ps 5:5



5 The boastful shall not stand before Thine eyes;

Thou dost hate all who do iniquity.



8. All who do iniquity (sin) – Notice, He hates the person, and not just the sin!



Zech 8:17



17'Also let none of you devise evil in your heart against another, and do not love perjury; for all these are what I hate,' declares the LORD. "



9. (Those) who devise evil (in their) heart against another

10. perjury



Mal 2:16



16 "For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "



11. divorce

12. (wrongdoers)



Rev 2:6-7

6'Yet this you do have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.



13. the deeds of the Nicolaitans



[This one is especially interesting because it bears directly on our topic. “How?” you ask, “I looked it up and it’s talking about some ancient followers of some dude named Nicholas who was teaching stuff like Balaam.” That’s what you may find in many Bible dictionaries concerning the proper noun “Nicolaitans”, but the really interesting thing is that there is no need or warrant for the word to be a proper noun, transliterated from the Greek, rather than a compound word translated from the Greek. The translation would be something like conquerors of the people, or those who lord it over the people. In fact, if you abuse your headship within the home, if you “lord it over” your wife, give orders, treat her as a servant; if you do anything but lead by your example, with compassion, putting her first, YOU MAY BE A NICOLAITAN:





The word "Nicos" means "to elevate oneself above" and "Laos" means "the ordinary people" (the laity). Nicolaitans were people who elevated themselves above the ordinary people. In the book of Revelation (Ch.2:6,15) Jesus says that He despises this doctrine. (Pastor Boaz Gill - http://www.shaffaf.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=Publication&id=31)

The root of the word Nicolaitans comes from Greek nikao, to conquer or overcome, and laos, which means people and which the word laity comes from. The two words together especially means the destruction of the people and refers to the earliest form of what we call a priestly order or clergy which later on in church history divided people and allowed for leadership other than those led by the spirit of the risen Lord Jesus Christ. A good translation of Nicolaitan would be "those who prevail over the people." (http://latter-rain.com/eschae/nicola.htm)

The name, Nicolaitanes, is a compound word which is composed of three Greek words, and which, because of being a proper noun, is transferred [transliterated] instead of being translated into English. As thus transferred, it is subject to the laws of Greek construction in regard to ellipsis, contraction and phonetics.

The Greek words used in its construction are first: "Nikos," of which we use the English equivalents instead of the Greek letters, as we shall also of the other two. Nikos is defined as "a conquest; victory; triumph; the conquered; and by implication, dominancy over the defeated." Another transferred [transliterated] name in which this term is used is "Nicopolis," i.e., Niko - conquest; polis city. Hence, the city of conquest, or city of victory. Also "Andro" -- "nikos;" a man of conquest, of victory.

The second term used in the name under consideration is "laos," -- people, another use of which is Nicolas, which is transferred and is composed of Nikoslaos and means one who is "victorious over the people," the letter "s" being, in both words, the nominative case ending, which is retained only at the end of the word to denote the case, while "a" short and "o" short are contracted into "a" long.

Laodiceans

Also, a still further transferred use of "laos" is found in the name Lao(s)diceans, compounded with dike or dice as the Greek "k" is the equivalent English "c." Thus, in the name Laodiceans, we have laos -- "people" and dice judgment, or vengeance, i.e., the people of my judgment, or of my vengeance. Also the Greek word la(ic)os means "laymen," of which laos is the root and stem, which selfsame word, with the "o" short contracted to "i", to which root and stem the plural definite article ton is joined to form laiton -- is a Greek phrase meaning "the laity."

The third and last word entering into the construction of the proper name Nicolaitanes is ton, in which omega, the long "o", is contracted into long "a", thus making the word "tan" which is the genitive case plural in all the genders of the definite article the. Therefore, we have, without the legal Greek construction, the English hyphenated word Nickos-laoston, but which, with its lawful elisions and contractions, becomes the English name: Nicolaitanes, the full meaning of which, in its native tongue and in its ecclesiastical setting, is that the bishops and prelates of the Church have gained a triumphal victory or conquest over the laiton -- the laity -- until they have been compelled to submit to the arbitrary dominion of men who have become that thing which God hates: "Lords over God's heritage." (Written by: J. H. Allen (author of Judah's Sceptre and Joseph's Birthright)}

God HATES the ones who “lord it over” their brothers and sisters! How can a husband ever justify lording it over his believing wife? He is in the position of headship because that is the role God has ordained for him , but headship does not equate with autocracy. Christians are not supposed to lead in this way!



Luke 22:25-30



25 And He said to them, "The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who have authority over them are called 'Benefactors.' 26 But not so with you, but let him who is the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as the servant. 27 For who is greater, the one who reclines at the table, or the one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at the table? But I am among you as the one who serves. 28 And you are those who have stood by Me in My trials; 29 and just as My Father has granted Me a kingdom, I grant you 30 that you may eat and drink at My table in My kingdom, and you will sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.



We are to love our wives as Christ loves the Church. All around us in this secular world, the god of this world (Satan 2 Cor 4:4) has blinded men’s eyes to true leadership, and perverted what headship really means. If you want to be a Christian leader, or head of a Christian home, you will “become as the youngest, and the leader as the servant.” As you love your wife in the same way Christ loves the Church, she will stand with you in your trials, and it may be a stretch from the above reference, but it seems to me you should reward her by treating her like royalty.



We husbands are specifically directed to love our wives in the same way that Christ loves the church. Do that, fellows, and you will turn away much anger and win even a “shrew” as Shakespeare imagined her. We are directed specifically to treat our wives as a “WEAKER VESSEL”. This doesn’t mean belittling her, taunting or teasing her: “I’m stronger than you, you wimp!” No! What it means is that your wife is not a man! If, when you’re “out with the boys”, you punch each other in the arm, tell crude jokes at each other’s expense, and make fun of each other when you think someone’s acting like a dork, that’s one thing (and there are a few issues here as well, but we won’t get into that now.). The problem is that a lot of guys (“Christian” guys!) treat their wives that way! They don’t take into account that God says men and women are different! When He says that that we are to treat our wives as weaker vessels, the context itself tells us what that means. God wants us to deal with them gently, and in an understanding way, to grant her honor as an equal and fellow heir in Christ. Furthermore, it is clear that if we don’t treat our wives in this way, we cannot expect God to answer our prayers:





You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)



Numerous references can be cited showing that we are to defend and strengthen the weak, rather than tearing them down (Ps 82:4; 1 Thess. 5:14, etc.) Rather than putting our wives down, as I have personally heard many times from professing Christian men, we are to build her up as a fellow Christian (1 Thess 5:11), and show her honor:



honor NT:5092

time (tee-may'); from NT:5099; a value, i.e. money paid, or (concretely and collectively) valuables; by analogy, esteem (especially of the highest degree), or the dignity itself:

KJV - honour, precious, price, some.

(Biblesoft's New Exhaustive Strong's Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright (c) 1994, Biblesoft and International Bible Translators, Inc.)



We are to esteem our wives! They are precious!



Many are the “deeds of the flesh” in a marriage. What do I mean? Just look at the list:



Gal 5:19-21



19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, 21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you just as I have forewarned you that those who practice such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.



In the world, marriage is the prime breeding ground for most of these things. Look at the list again if you think I’m wrong. Today’s marriages are rampant with these things, because the world has perverted marriage. Is that a surprise? If the Christian marriage is to reflect Christ and the Church, wouldn’t you expect it to be a target of the world, the flesh and the devil? Television and the movies promote immorality (KJV – Adultery), impurity and sensuality both outside and within marriage, and it is common for married men and women to be “on the prowl.” These are deeds of the flesh, and clearly sin, but so are the other items.



- enmity NT:2189 echthra (ekh'-thrah); feminine of NT:2190; hostility; by implication, a reason for opposition:

KJV - enmity, hatred.

(Biblesoft's New Exhaustive Strong's Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright (c) 1994, Biblesoft and International Bible Translators, Inc.)



- strife NT:2054 eris (er'-is); of uncertain affinity; a quarrel, i.e. (by implication) wrangling:

KJV - contention, debate, strife, variance.

(Biblesoft's New Exhaustive Strong's Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright (c) 1994, Biblesoft and International Bible Translators, Inc.)



- jealousy NT:2205 zelos (dzay'-los); from NT:2204; properly, heat, i.e. (figuratively) "zeal" (in a favorable sense, ardor; in an unfavorable one, jealousy, as of a husband [figuratively, of God], or an enemy, malice):

KJV - emulation, envy (-ing), fervent mind, indignation, jealousy, zeal.

(Biblesoft's New Exhaustive Strong's Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright (c) 1994, Biblesoft and International Bible Translators, Inc.)



- outbursts of anger NT:2372

thumos (thoo-mos'); from NT:2380; passion (as if breathing hard):

KJV - fierceness, indignation, wrath. Compare NT:5590.

(Biblesoft's New Exhaustive Strong's Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright (c) 1994, Biblesoft and International Bible Translators, Inc.)



- disputes NT:2052 eritheia

a courting distinction, a desire to put oneself forward, a partisan and factious spirit which does not disdain low arts; partisanship, factiousness: James 3:14,16

(from Thayer's Greek Lexicon, Electronic Database. Copyright (c) 2000 by Biblesoft)



- dissensions NT:1370 dichostsis (dee-khos-tas-ee'-ah); from a derivative of NT:1364 and NT:4714; disunion, i.e. (figuratively) dissension:

KJV - division, sedition.

(Biblesoft's New Exhaustive Strong's Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright (c) 1994, Biblesoft and International Bible Translators, Inc.)



- factions NT:139 hairesis, haireseoos, hee;

1. act of taking, capture

2. choosing, choice,

3. that which is chosen, a chosen course of thought and action

4. a body of men separating themselves from others and following their own tenets (a sect or party)

5. dissensions arising from diversity of opinions and aims: Gal 5:20; 1 Cor 11:19.

(from Thayer's Greek Lexicon, Electronic Database. Copyright (c) 2000 by Biblesoft)



- envying NT:5355 phthonos (fthon'-os); probably akin to the base of NT:5351; ill-will (as detraction), i.e. jealousy (spite):

KJV - envy.

(Biblesoft's New Exhaustive Strong's Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright (c) 1994, Biblesoft and International Bible Translators, Inc.)



- drunkenness NT:3178 methe (meth'-ay); apparently a primary word; an intoxicant, i.e. (by implication) intoxication:

KJV - drunkenness.

(Biblesoft's New Exhaustive Strong's Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright (c) 1994, Biblesoft and International Bible Translators, Inc.)



- carousing NT:2970 komos (ko'-mos); from NT:2749; a carousal (as if letting loose):

KJV - revelling, rioting.

(Biblesoft's New Exhaustive Strong's Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright (c) 1994, Biblesoft and International Bible Translators, Inc.)



This sounds almost like vignettes from a modern marriage, doesn’t it? Many elements of the above creep into supposedly Christian homes as well, and much to their detriment. Doesn’t it give you pause when the Word says about such things that, “I have forewarned you that those who practice such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”? Emphasis is due here: THOSE WHO PRACTICE SUCH THINGS WILL NOT INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD! Yes, “practice” is in the present tense, a continuous action, and probably is referring to the unsaved, but then, if you’re continuously practicing such things, can you possibly be saved? “No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.” (1 John 3:9). The one who continually practices sin as a pattern of life is not born of God – is not saved. That person has a mere intellectual belief and is fooling himself. If, as a pattern of life, you treat your wife in this way, sinning against her continually, then you must question whether or not you are of the family of God at all.



The opposite of the deeds of the flesh is the fruit of the Spirit, gentlemen. These actions are the result of the indwelling Holy Spirit working within us, perfecting us (Phil 1:8):



Gal 5:22-24



22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.



This is how we should be acting, with our wives and our brothers and sisters in Christ. Those who belong to Him have crucified the flesh.



crucified NT:4717 stauroo (stow-ro'-o); from NT:4716; to impale on the cross; figuratively, to extinguish (subdue) passion or selfishness:

KJV - crucify.

(Biblesoft's New Exhaustive Strong's Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright (c) 1994, Biblesoft and International Bible Translators, Inc.)



Our flesh, our old nature is still there, but it has been subdued, and those who say they try to do the right thing with their wives, but cannot are either dead wrong or else dead in their trespasses and sins.



Yes, God hates divorce, but there are a lot of things that you can do while staying married that God will equally hate. By all means heed God’s Word regarding the dissolution of a marriage, but do not neglect His word in the living out of your marriage every day.

Hope From Ashes

Hopes From Ashes Wrote me a Note:

I’ve just started writing a blog that details my own survival from an abusive marriage...

I thought it would be helpful to others, and wanted to share!!

Divorce Court With Juanita Bynum

I heard about this, and saw that it was on Youtube!



Juanita Bynum on Divorce Court 1

Juanita bynum on divorce court 2

Juanita bynum on divorce Court 3

Juanita Byum on Divorce Court 4

Juanita Bynum on Divorce Court 5

Juanita Bynum on Divorce Court 6

Juanita Bynum on Divorce Court 7

Juanita Bynum on Divorce Court 8

Juanita Bynum On Divorce Court 9

Real Quick!

I was trying a widget intense debate for my comment section, and I was having issues with it!

Once I get that figured out - I will restore the comments made recently.

Thank you!

The woman's place....

Katherine Gunn of A Voice in the Desert has a very good article on the woman's place!

Here is a portion at the beginning!

The Hebrew word used in Genesis 2:18, 20 to describe Eve is 'ezer.' According to Strong's Concordance, this Hebrew word is used in the following verses: a) Isaiah 30:5, Ezekiel 12:14 and Daniel 11:34 to describe groups or nations that Israel, mainly, were leaning on instead of leaning on God; 2) Exodus 18:4, Deuteronomy 33:7, 33:26, 29, Psalm 20:2, 33:20, 70:5, 89:19, 115:9, 10, 11, 121:1, 2, 124:8, 146:5, and Hosea 13:9 to describe God's relationship to Israel. In the Genesis verses, it is translated meet (KJV), while in all the other verses, it is translated help (KJV).


Hmm... so the word used is not a subservient one - unless we are prepared to take the position that God's role with Israel was subservient! The image I get from this is one who stands with - not behind, not sits under - stands with someone and helps them.

Very good blog, and this article is worth the read! CHECK OUT IT!

Tools For Tuesday - Website Goodies

Website Goodies

Has all kinds of cute little
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Smilies you can use!

Don't Step in the Biblical Leadership!

I read this article by

Reb Bradley

called tough love. According to Mr. Bradley Tough Love isn't for husbands. Why? It gets in the way of leadership. You are upsurping leadership if you do this with your husband. I would assume it would be okay for men, because they don't have that issue biblically.

An answer to this question can be deduced based on the Bible’s principles related to marriage and divorce. For a wife to go against her husband's desires and leave him, would require that she forsake her biblical responsibility to submit to his authority. Such a wife may justify her separation by claiming she is simply following Christ's example -- he set boundaries and "drew lines" of behavior for his followers, and that is what she is doing for her husband. But such a wife misconstrues her calling to be Christ-like -- she is called to be like Jesus in character, not in authority. In fact, the Bible tells her specifically that she is not to be like Christ in the exercise of authority, but to be like the Church who submits to Christ's authority (Eph 5:24).

Biblically his desires should be one of service to his family. If he is biblically serving his family with what they need - not what he THINKS they need it wouldn't be an issue! You see husband's can't dictate WHAT other's feel they need. God wires them a certain way, and husband's have no authority there! Good leadership listens to its followers, and when they feel strongly about something they attempt some sort of compromise. What I say goes since I'm the man isn't biblical! Don't look to the worldly defination look to the bible!

Having others respect your personal boundaries is NOT unbiblical!

It seems to me if the man was upholding his role within the relationship there would be no reason for 'Tough Love'. Its so strange how certain men can just twist scripture enough so that they can basically strip the woman's sense of self respect completely away.

He speaks of how women are called to be Christlike, but make sure you don't cross that line! True Godly men don't need that sense of control as Reb Bradley speaks of because they get it automatically from their family. God wired women to desire their husbands, and wish to serve them. In Genesis when it spoke of how men will rule you it wasn't some prize that God was handing men. Reb Bradley uses it as a prize - shame on you! You are to love your bride as Christ loved the church, and smashing her self respect and tieing her hands behind her back because MEN of your sort will not help so that his soul and his prayers are not hindered is what okay in the eyes of God? There are men that will be turned around from the behavior in which you speak, and there are those that never will be. There are those that are turned around by tough love, and you feel that God is not pleased with that?

A woman may even claim she is simply being a helpmate trying to help her husband repent. However, God does not allow those under authority to change the ones in authority by disobeying them. A wife, therefore, has no biblical permission to act outside her husband's authority, or to rebel against him, even if her intention is to coerce him to repent. Quite to the contrary, God specifically commands the wives of disobedient husbands to behave with respect and submissiveness toward them, which He says can win them over. Speaking through Peter, God tells women, "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not obey the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." 1 Peter 3:1-6 NIV/NRSV

Excuse me but if the woman wishes to try 'tough love' common sense would tell a person she has already tried to get her man to repent. Where is the call to justice for this women in the sense of accountability? I guess a man doesn't have to worry about that either. A man's role is to show the biblical role of leadership. That doesn't what he seems to think it does. Biblical leadership means service - not being the dictator!

Lets look at Matthew 23 for a minute shall we?

They tie up heavy loads and put them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.

Jesus is speaking of the Pharisees of course. Telling the crowd that YES these men do know scripture, but they have no clue what leadership really is. They add to the load of men, and do not lift a finger to help them. They are arrogant, prideful, conceited people. Jesus warns people NOT to be like them!

Jesus states, "The greatest among you will be your servant."

The way Reb Bradley tells women to stay in their place, and yet ignores that men are to be servants as well........kind of makes him a hypocrite as well. Where is his stern warnings to these men? Where is the advice to these women to find some Godly man to come along side of him - TO SAVE HIS SOUL! You see Mr. Bradley even if a woman did follow your advice, and her husband didn't turn from his evil ways - his soul is lost! His soul is MUCH more important that your defination of LEADERSHIP and AUTHORITY within the home! His soul is at stake and his 'helpmate' is asked to tie her hands behind her back, and NOT really be a helpmate! You are asking for her to enable his evil so you have your vision of leadership that clearly goes against scripture. Prayer is powerful, but God gave us other tools he wishes us to use. You seem to ignore that. If she can't use tough love - what are you doing to help her husband and save his soul? You also have a responsibility to him! Remember a SOUL is at stake!

The wife who threatens to divorce her husband "unless he changes," should consider that her ultimatum places her in charge of the relationship.

No it does NOT!

23 Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices— mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law— justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practised the latter, without neglecting the former.

24 You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.

25 Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.

26 Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

YES your words clean the outside, but leave the dirty insides alone!

No longer is she under his authority -- by her demands she assumes his position of leadership and attempts to take control of him. If her exertion of authority is submitted to by her husband, he becomes accountable to her, and she presides as the judge of his sincerity, sitting in constant evaluation of his performance.

Nonsense! Use Jesus's defination of leadership and authority Mr. Reb Bradley!

10 Nor are you to be called 'teacher', for you have one Teacher, the Christ.

11 The greatest among you will be your servant.

12 For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.
13-14
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.

If he followed scripture and was that servant to his family there would be no need for threats. Men can be fools look in proverbs, and if they are show me in scripture when you must follow that fool in his folly? How about helping this woman get her man right with God so that his soul will be saved! The scripture in Peter also states that if he doesn't not honor is wife as the coheir in grace that his prayers are hindered as well. WHY do you ignore that portion? Is that not more important? His prayers are hindered and you are more worried about his leadership being upsurped! Get your priorities STRAIGHT!

She has made fulfillment of her own wifely duties conditional upon her husband's behavior, and at some point must give up her superior role and resubmit herself to his authority, until such time that she deems it necessary to reassume control and force him to repent again. Although such a wife may succeed in coercing her husband to wake up and begin working harder to please her, she will find herself unable to have a balanced, biblical relationship with him, because she remains the one in control. Can a healthy, biblical marital relationship be gained by venturing outside biblical marital roles? Should that wife expect to enjoy God's blessings when she resists His plans so strongly!? She most definitely will not! Those who believe that acts of "tough love" can successfully stir husbands to genuine repentance may see some change, but the fruit born will not be of eternal quality.

Coercing him? My goodness! Do you not believe in people turning from their evil ways, and turning their sights to God's way? Mr. Bradley you give men way to much in the sense of worldly authority. There are plenty of people on this earth that received some tough love, and they turned back to God. You are stating this can't count, because it must be coercion. WOW so little faith in the Lord's ways since people are custom - as he made them! The path to the light is different for everyone, and we are not all placed in one box. Open your mind and your heart! The ultimate authority doesn't NOT belong to husbands - it belongs to GOD! We should be rejoicing in this husband's turning back to God, and NOT calling NON eternal quality Fruit!

You have to much concentration on control. Husband's are NOT in control - God is! God uses all kinds of tools to those that know him to help others. God does not wish people's hands to be tied as you do. If a man came back to the fold as a Godly man - you have no right to mininize his journey to get there! Husband's are to be servants to their families, and there are different definations of that - just like their are families. If husband's are to serve their families - the must listen to what they say they need. We are talking within reason here, and not some codependent type of thing here!

MY goodness! He is telling people if a wife gets her husband to get right with God it doesn't count! She doesn't remain in control because she was never in control - GOD IS! Why are people so threatened by boundaries? What is so awful about respecting other's boundaries that they need of basic HUMAN respect? A man should have this but a woman isn't because she may be stepping out of her place. YESH! To me Reb Bradley has no little faith in the repentance of Godly men! They don't need to given to others in the form of guidance and accountability. Women are handed this hit or miss - and if you man acts evil WELL don't attempt to show or guide him in anyway. Its not your place. Those that did turn from their evil ways due to 'tough love' in this example - well GUYS that turnaround didn't count according to Mr. Bradley. It won't be seen as GOOD in the eyes of God. You see God can only use women's prayers and acts of submission in order for things to truly count in his book. What a crock Reb Bradley! Instead of all your scolding maybe you can give them a recipe of what a true Godly man is, and show men how to have accountability. You see tough love is a consquence of his evil actions. She wouldn't have to do that if he was following scripture. Authority does NOT have the defination of the worldly type! Your defination is worldly! Authority is to be humble and have a sense of service towards his family. WAKE UP!

Westboro Baptist Church - Jury Awards Father $10.9M

No matter what side of the war are you on I think most everyone would feel what this man and his church did was wrong.

I for one hope this lawsuit will stop them.

When I listened to this man he sounds like an abuser himself.

Burning Bed - Story of Domestic violence!

Burning Bed was a movie that started to wake people up when it came to matters of domestic violence. Its a story of a women that tried to escape many times, and was failed by the system, family and was left with no real support system.

Domestic violence or Domestic Abuse is more than hitting. I have heard to many times Pastors telling women that until he hits you you must not separate.

I have to wonder if people LOOK to the other factors of wife abuse, martial abuse in general. Men and Women alike get verbally and emotionally abused by partners, spouses and the effects are mininized. They are told to parrot scripture and pray more to help them deal with the effects. That may work for some people, but in alot of cases it sends people into deeper despair! They are given the excuse of almost NOT being cooperative if they can't find a way of getting over it.

They need to ask themselves if Jesus would tell the oppressed to JUST get over it! Love them more and show them respect .... and sit back and watch the miracles happen! Scripture speaks of helping the oppressed, and I'm sure God meant more than just using scripture and prayer as the only toolbox.

Children are effected living with this within their homes, and when you never feel safe how does that effect them as they grow into adults?

God gave us all our own story to tell

Sadie



God gave us all our own unique story to tell!

What an awesome message! We all get there our own way, and have our own journey!

Tools for Tuesday - Time Zone Tool

Time Zone Check

I really found this tool was nice! Its an easy reference, and its NOT military time based!

That's my tool for Tuesday! Enjoy!

God is there even as you suffer, and you feel tested!

I had to watch this video twice to get the full impact. I hope you get it quicker than I did! LOL! It shows how God is waiting for us, and will fight for us even when times in our eyes are NOT good!

1Co 10:13 You have been put to no test but such as is common to man: and God is true, who will not let any test come on you which you are not able to undergo; but he will make with the test a way out of it, so that you may be able to go through it.

Look for God's way out of it!

The Owl's Song: Domestic Violence Part II: A Prayer

The Owl's Song: Domestic Violence Part II: A Prayer


Prayer for All Who Are Abused



by Vienna Cobb Anderson


You chose, O loving God,
to enter this world quietly, humbly,
and as an outcast.
Hear our prayers
on behalf of all who are abused.
For children,
who suffer at the hands
of parents whom they trust and love;
For spouses,
beaten and destroyedby the very one
who promised to love
and to cherish them forever.
For all people
ignored, hated and cheated
by the very neighbor who could be the closest one to offer Your love.
Hear the cry of the oppressed.
Let the fire of your Spirit fill their hearts
with the power of vision and hope.
Grant to them empowerment to act,
that they may not be passive victims of violence and hatred.
Fulfill for them the promises you have made,
that their lives may be transformedand their oppression ended.
Turn the hearts of the oppressor unto you
that their living may be changed
by your forgiving love;
and their abusive actions
and oppressive ways
brought to an end.
Amen.

The Owl's Song: Domestic Violence: the Story of a Dancer

The Owl's Song: Domestic Violence: the Story of a Dancer

Story of a dancer named Eva. She was a victim of domestic violence, and another example of how her pastor told her:

What was the pastor's counsel? (He told me this with tears in his eyes.) He had told her to be more submissive. He told her to obey her husband and to strive to please him in every way. He told her that if she did what the Bible said, God would take care of her and her children.

Now she was dead.

What haunts me most about this story is not that Eva suffered abuse and was brutally murdered. It is not that her two children now had a daddy in prison and a mommy in Heaven. It is what my pastor said. He was a young man, good hearted, kind and earnest. He said to me, in distress, "Perhaps I should not have told her those things. Perhaps I should have helped her get away from him."

Perhaps?

Very moving read!

Free Text Reminders - Tools for Tuesday

I'm the type that if I don't write something down right away, or find SOME way of reminding myself........chances are good I will forget! I try to make a habit of finding a way to remind ME of something that is upcoming! I mean lets face facts here..Life Happens!



Free Text Message Reminders if your phone is allowed texts is an awesome tool to remind of things.

Enter your Phone Number and Text Message.
Select a Date and Time.
Receive a text message reminder exactly when you want it!
No Advertisements - they don't share your phone number, or call you!

Do one now, and check it out to see if it works for your life.......then HAVE HAD IT in the future!

THat is our Tool for Tuesday!

Paige Patterson and the SBC enable Domestic Violence!

Internet Archive Recording of his statements




I found this article on Because It Matters

Here is an portion of the recording:

I had a woman who was in a church that I served, and she was being subject to some abuse, and I told her, I said, “All right, what I want you to do is, every evening I want you to get down by your bed just as he goes to sleep, get down by the bed, and when you think he’s just about asleep, you just pray and ask God to intervene, not out loud, quietly,” but I said, “You just pray there.” And I said, “Get ready because he may get a little more violent, you know, when he discovers this.” And sure enough, he did. She came to church one morning with both eyes black. And she was angry at me and at God and the world, for that matter. And she said, “I hope you’re happy.” And I said, “Yes ma’am, I am.” And I said, “I’m sorry about that, but I’m very happy.”

And what she didn’t know when we sat down in church that morning was that her husband had come in and was standing at the back, first time he ever came. And when I gave the invitation that morning, he was the first one down to the front. And his heart was broken, he said, “My wife’s praying for me, and I can’t believe what I did to her.” And he said, “Do you think God can forgive somebody like me?” And he’s a great husband today. And it all came about because she sought God on a regular basis. And remember, when nobody else can help, God can.

And in the meantime, you have to do what you can at home to be submissive in every way that you can and to elevate him. Obviously, if he’s doing that kind of thing he’s got some very deep spiritual problems in his life and you have to pray that God brings into the intersection of his life those people and those events that need to come into his life to arrest him and bring him to his knees.

Choose to create a new post

This is the summary

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Submit to even abuse, because God will honor you!

I'm sickened by a moderator on a board coming to the women's forum to step in, and tell women to stay and pray. Truly sickened!

He starts with:

This is going to be one of those rare times when, as a leader on this board, a man is going to post in the ladies forum. But in this case I think it important because there are just some things being said in here that require it.

I asked this question of a lady that disagrees with me on this matter and I'll ask here as well.

Which do you figure more important in God's eyes. The relationship between a slave and master or a husband and wife? It seems an insane question doesn't it. But we know the answer because we know the importance of a covenant relationship and the weight God puts behind such relationship.

Let's forget all of the emotional and worldly logic here and let's see what the Bible has to say about stuff just like this. I know that the world is going to tell you all sorts of thing and I know if you are being abused in any fashion... those ways are going to sound like a relief. But are those ways biblical ways and if we are going to offer someone advice let's offer them honest biblical advice. On the Internet, you are going to get folks that come in and share their problems in marriage. The big problem here is that you are simply hearing only one side of the issue. Often times that is skewed, even unintentionally, by the person telling their problem. They are frustrated and at their wits end and it is easy to sort of stretch things a bit or leave some important information out. But that being said... biblical advice holds true at all times... regardless of anything else.


1 Peter 2:18 Household slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the cruel.
19 For it brings favor if, because of conscience toward God, someone endures grief from suffering unjustly.
20 For what credit is there if you endure when you sin and are beaten? But when you do good and suffer, if you endure, it brings favor with God.
21 For you were called to this because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you should follow in His steps.
22 He did not commit sin, and no deceit was found in His mouth,
23 when reviled; He did not revile in return; When suffering, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to the One who judges justly.
24 He himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that, having died to sins, we might live for righteousness; by His wounding you have been healed.
25 For you were like sheep going astray, but you have now returned to the shepherd and guardian of your souls.


Now look... I know that folks are thinking, "HEY Ken! I am not a slave nor is my husband my master so this just isn't applicable!

That person was correct. When the scripture starts out talking about slaves, and then goes to wives – then husbands most would assume that they are addressing those parties separately. I mean either that or does all scripture apply to everyone – if so why all the talk about roles?

Scripture also mentioned something else about slaves: 1Co 7:21Were you a slave when you were called? That shouldn't bother you. However, if you have a chance to become free, take it.

Notice it doesn’t say to stay and take it there.

We all know there will be times of suffering, and there isn't going to be solutions to had! That is when you rely on God ONLY, and in other situations its okay to lean on others along with God. He is never out of the picture, but we must not downsize the value of fellowship! God handed us that great tool as well!

Now look... I know that folks are thinking, "HEY Ken! I am not a slave nor is my husband my master so this just isn't applicable!

Sure it is guys and this is IMPORTANT and it is BIBLICAL so please... listen to what Scripture teaches us here.

1 Peter 3:1 Wives, IN THE SAME WAY, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the Christian message, they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live, when they observe your pure, reverent lives.

I know that it is so easy to swallow much of the worldly advice that is given by the television shrinks and even folks within this thread. It sounds good to your flesh because your flesh is miserable in your marriage and this sounds like such a better way to do things. The problem... it isn't the biblical way to do things. Any woman... wanting to truly be a godly wife is going to be the woman that submits to her husband PERIOD. Even the ones that we like to label jerks and mean men. IF YOU ENDURE it then you will find favor with God. There is great reward for this even though here in the nasty now and now... it might not be such a pleasant time.

I have to wonder if moderator's on faith board like the (Thread was removed) Bible Forums and their moderator Ken realize the are enabling abusive behavior. Jesus's followers (besides Jesus himself) endured abuse for a purpose, and I have to wonder if enabling an abuser and what those people did he thinks is in the same realm??

Where does he find that if you 'endure' you will find favor is God? No where. It just makes me sick. That is what I called Spiritual or Religious abuse. Jesus came to take our burden, and not add to our load. Enduring abuse is just that. We endure things for a purpose, and because faith followers don't know what to do with abusers and don't want their divorce rates to go up anymore.........isn't purpose!

Will you love me to Death?

beanerywriters had a post about a poem Domestic Violence, and the author's children even got involved with the process! There is no name listed for the author, and please check out the blog linked above for other good sources of literature on the subject!

While I was writing this poem, the kids wanted to know what I was doing. I told them I was writing the poem as a way of releasing that part of my life, and they thought they wanted to help. They wanted to do something, so I told them we would do a cover for the poem, a cover page. And I told them we would each draw a picture, but I let them draw two pictures, representing or depicting what those five years—the worst of the five years—meant to us.

The night has closed in; the hour’s grown late.
In hopeless despair, we ponder our fate.
The door soon kicks in. How angry you are!!
Oh no! Not again!! Not yet another scar!!!

Two little boys are down on their knees.
Their terrified cries: “Please don’t! Daddy please!!”
That look on your face. That glare in your eye.
“Oh God! Here it comes!” I silently cry.

You grab me, You hurt me, Squeezing too tight.
I know in my soul, it’s never been right.
My heart hits the floor; I just hold my breath.
Will this be the night that you “Love Me To Death??”

The sun of a new day, shining so bright,
Chases the terror of the past midnight’s fight.
But brand new tomorrows don’t keep it away.
It’s never gone long. It’s never okay.

It won’t last too long, this calm peaceful wind.
Soon there’ll be rage, and you’ll hurt us again.
Can we ever break free? Oh, what can we do??
When even the courtrooms can’t constrain you.

You won’t let us go. You’ve imprisoned me.
With fear of our safety, and my sanity.
Four little boys, they’ve done you no wrong.
To protect their lives, I’ve got to be strong.

All of this madness, it just has to end.
I have to let go, to start living again.
I’ve trembled at hearings, I’ve gagged on my fears;
I’ve shuddered and braced myself, fighting back tears.

And now that it’s over. Now that it’s done.
How long do the kids and I have left to run??
Please!! Let me sit back and just catch my breath;
For once, give me hope, you won’t “Love Me To Death!”

We put it down on paper so we could let it go. My oldest boy drew the handcuffs and the knife—he drew the knife and the handcuffs—because the knife symbolized his father threatening us with the knife, and the handcuffs symbolized his freedom from the trauma.

“When they took dad away in handcuffs we were free.”

The second son drew the gun and the baseball bat because we were threatened with the gun and we were threatened with a club.

And I drew the broken heart and the crying eyes. Actually, my third son helped me draw the crying eyes because I wasn’t that good of an artist. But that’s how each of us felt—that’s what we needed to let go of. So that’s how the cover came about.



Additional Poems:
You can't
What It Means To Be A Victim
A Chosen Vessel
Will You Love me To Death
Shattered Pieces
Recycled Rose
Saturday Night Special
Walls