Fashions in bigotry come and go. The right thing lasts.

I was reading some interesting comments when a poster asked a group of women WHY feminism is so scary to the church.  I will be honest the thought had crossed my mind a couple of times myself.  The topic when raised can be very heated, and before you know it all these extremes come out.  I don't call myself a feminist personally.  It seems if you speak to some women in the church they will tell you that they feel the Suffragists are fine.  The ladies of the 1960's are a totally different story.

There is one thing I did notice is that they truly aren't educated on how much those women suffered during the suffrage movement.

I do not have too much of a problem with the first feminists. Many of them were pro-life, pro-mother, and did not view SAHM as the realm of the stupid, uneducated, and oppressed. I do not think there is anything unBiblical with women voting, or women receiving pay equal to men doing the same job, nor with women being educated, protected from abuse, and treated with care and honor by men. If some men of that era hadn't believed the same, and acknowledged that the suffragists were right, feminism would have fizzled, unless they were prepared for an armed coup.

At times I truly wonder if women (and men for that matter) ever truly look at history.  At the time they speak of society believed that educating women (suffragists) was a waste of time and energy.  Were there 1960's feminists that felt the stay at home mom was stupid, uneducated and oppressed?  I'm sure there were some of those of course, but to me it was more about having the same choices.  There were still barriers that were there due to fear of letting women in, and wanting them to stay in their place.  They didn't want them in the workforce to work along of men for example.

I was a child at the time, and I remember this triggered me when it came to myself NOT being allowed to play baseball of all things.  Why?  I was a girl afterall!  My mother cut my hair super short, and it was shorter than the boys hair at the time.  Guess who had to wear swimcap, and it wasn't due to 'long hair causes plumbing issues in pools'.  It was because I was girl.  I wanted to stand up and show them all their stupid rules in place stopped my choices!  I was just as good a baseball player as the boys, and my hair was SHORTER!

How DARE you approach to Domestic Violence in the church!

There was a discussion on Mark Driscoll recently, and they posted his message to abusive men.  I remember the first time I heard it, and I had just dealt with a family going through a very hard time.  He said some things that I wanted to say, and I felt some of the rage he was feeling as he screamed, "HOW DARE YOU!".

It was the human part inside of me over the hurt and anger I felt over a family being terribly mistreated.  I was very UPSET over their abuser's entitled mindset over how he was justified.  I was seething over how he could find fault in everyone and everything, and not once did he step up to the plate with his own sin.

Abusive people (not just men) are great at blaming everything and anything for this behavior.  They are not capable of owning things, because it makes them feel 'less than'.  It makes them feel powerless, and it makes them vulnerable.  They look at it like some opening that people are waiting for so they can charge it to crush them into the ground.  What they don't realize?  Most people aren't interested in that, and yet that is HOW they view the world and the people within it.  Remember how I always say they tend to do things with motive?  They assume everyone does that!

You see from time to time when they will admit certain things, but if you stopped long enough to listen?  They always have a BUT attached.  There is always justification.  There is always some hurt or reason for their actions.  What they never offer up is ownership of their own poop, and yet demand it from others in a very threatening way.  They will say they have a bad temper, and yet when you get into the nuts and bolts of that aspect?  Their anger stops all conversation.  You may be able to speak of it one day, and yet the next time HOW DARE YOU!

Restricted Area

Have you ever noticed the 'restricted areas' within the christian faith?  In the Harry Potter books his school library had what they called the 'restricted area'.  It was the section where the bad magic was referenced in the books, and other unsavory parts of that world were held that you were not to go near.  You were only allowed to go there when you had permission, and only for the STRICTEST of reasons.  YES I read those books while I was home on bed rest after an operation, and needed some fantasy entertainment as I laid there bored out of my skull!  I needed something MINDLESS!  (giggles)

In the books the major EVIL character most referred to as 'you know who', because they didn't even wish to mention his name.  He represented everything and evil, ugly and bad about life.  People avoided even speaking about him at all, and as sure you might have guessed Harry Potter did have to deal with Voldemort (you know who) in every book.  Harry would mention Voldemort's name, and everyone would freak out and say, 'DON'T SAY THAT NAME!"  Voldemort was part of their 'restricted section' within their world.

So what is within the 'restricted section' within the bible?  Its not so much you can't read it, but to me at times you can't really dive into these areas with questions.

I want to use 1 Peter 3-7 as an example today.

1 Peter 3:1-6 ISV  In a similar way, you wives must submit yourselves to your husbands so that, even if some of them refuse to obey the word, they may be won over without a word through your conduct as wives  (2)  when they see your pure and reverent lives.  (3)  Your beauty should not be an external one, consisting of braided hair or the wearing of gold ornaments and dresses.  (4)  Instead, it should be the inner disposition of the heart, consisting in the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great value in the sight of God.  (5)  After all, this is how holy women who set their hope on God used to make themselves beautiful in the past. They submitted themselves to their husbands,  (6)  just as Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him lord. You have become her daughters by doing good and by not letting anything terrify you.

I want to say something first about this verse.  I have seen this happen.  A wife that was respectful, and honoring to her husband - even thought he was disobedient to the word.  Her behavior did contribute to him being won over, and learning to grow as a Godly man.

Botkin Sisters - Feminists or Helpmeets

I was over at Truewomanhood, and ran across a thread that discussed the Botkin Sisters discussion on Feminists or Helpmeets.  It came to my attention once again that when we place generalizations out there you pretty much miss the boat on your point overall. 

The announcer started by talking about South Korea, and how their birth rate has done down drastically.  He will tell you WHY that is of course!  The young women think men are just jerks, and don't want to have anything to do with families.  They want to place their loyalties towards corporations, and if they get pregnant?  WELL they can't have either - abortion.  Women wish to be totally independent of men and families, because they can't see the benefits it has shown generations of the past. 

You have wonder if any of those that truly believed all of that hook, line and sinker EVER looked at the reasons WHY they may have felt this drastic turn of culture was needed in their eyes.  Sigh.  Instead the vomiting of the blame of the feminists were used instead.  WHY they think that is the effective approach, and will actually get these women to listen to reason with their opinions is totally beyond me.  If you look around? The other gender must not think their idea is so hot either, but that part must be for another day.

Does your church feel safe to you?

I was pleased today when I found an article on CBMW about Defenders of Women.  It speaks of the insecurity that some women feel about approaching the church when they truly need help.  When they truly need to be validated, and supported.  One of the stories within the article showed how legalistic people can be, and pretty much throws common sense to the wind.

After several years of being battered, I was finally divorced from my husband. I began attending a church and became a Christian. When I talked to the pastor about church membership, his major concern seemed to be whether I had obtained a "scriptural" divorce.

He did not tell me how glad he was that I had managed to stay alive; or how brave I had been to protect my children all those years by deliberately bringing my husband's wrath down on my head whenever I saw him heading for one of my children. He didn't tell me how great it was that I had finally found the courage to leave.

To be honest with you?  I don't understand this.  You are talking to someone that has just escaped a dangerous circumstance, and his first priority was it make sure her escape to safety was scriptural?  Seriously!  That makes no sense to me!

Do you know WHAT that says to people?  My grace towards your situation is conditional upon a couple MORE questions from YOU!  I realize you mentioned you and your children were terrified, but I need to make sure you did this right first! 

Feminism Culprit for families breaking up?

How is THAT for title to catch some attention? The Council of Biblical Manhood & Womanhood I guess felt it was a GREAT title for a report that basically didn't say what the titled claimed!  Why use it then?  I suppose because its one of the 'pet' evils they like to rally behind, because the report they speak about doesn't say it.  How about website rating?  Attention getter of other types?

They tell you that your title should have SOMETHING to do with your piece that you write overall, but it would seem to me it was more of a attention getter instead.

The actual report they speak about, but don't link to within their article is called 'The Good Childhood Inquiry'.  That is another question I had!  Why not link to the actual report instead of a newspaper article that they took their quotes from instead of the report?  I mean they suggest quoting from the report, and then state in a around about way it was actually quoting from the newspaper article.  Why not quote from the source itself?  I would assume because the report doesn't agree with claims they love to put out there!

As mentioned towards the bottom of the article CBMW titled 'Feminism the Culprit for Family Breakup? A Controversial UK Study Says So' - no the Study doesn't say what they claim on the title.  Enquiring minds do wish to know WHY they would use that title!  I mean they claim FIRST the articles 'Says so', and then near the bottom it says 'does not establish a causal link between feminism and the destruction of the family' EVEN suggestively as they claim!