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| Scripture written on Toilet Paper is like False Teachings |
I hope you are still reading, because this post is for you all.
I can't tell you how frustrating at times it is when I get notes from people, and the church doesn't recognize how they have fallen into the trap of 'enabling' sin. The church sadly has become the sin enabler of the world. I'm not going to tell you that most of the time their intentions aren't good, because I'm sure they are. The church does enable, and they don't wish to face that.
What are enablers? You will see people wanting to help, and have the very best intentions with that help. It goes against the grain of what we have been taught not to 'help' others. The helping is NOT the issue, but the form of helping is.
For example, you have friends or relatives that know an addict has spent all their money on their addiction of choice. Then they don't have the money to pay rent, and plead for help. Their friends or family either will pay that rent for them, or have the addict move in with them so rent won't be issue in the future.
Helping someone in times of trouble is NOT what I'm referring to here. I'm speaking more about 'helping' them get out of trouble due to a repeating pattern of sinful behavior.
Enablers tend to make excuses for the addict. Lets say the addict is stealing from the person they live with, and the person can't bring themselves to 'throw them out' because they would be homeless at that point.
Another example may be they will continue to give them money, because they are afraid of what they may do to get it otherwise. I remember reading a story about some parents that were afraid their child would sell their body if they didn't.
Its easy to look from outside, and say to these people you must take a firmer stand. Its easier to say "I won't put UP with that!"
Is the enabler part of the problem at this point? Yes of course. When the enabler stops their behavior does that make the addict stop their behavior? No. You are talking two different dynamics here.
Domestic Violence and the Church
I'm contacted so often about how the church places people's safety and well being on the back burner, and places the marriage to the forefront. In Matthew 6:26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
God's people are more important, and we are NOT placed on the back burner in his eyes.
I hear to often about how God hates Divorce and separation, and victims will ask advice on how to live with an abuser instead. They ask because what the church tells them? Victims know what they request is not possible. The church doesn't spend time learning about the abusive mindset, but loves to hand over spiritual pixie dust instead.
People are instructed to live while walking on eggshells all around them, because you need to take 'extra' care NOT to do something that will trigger the abuse. The church asks this of you, because they don't realize their advice looks like the first lie the serpent in Genesis told to Eve.
The tell hurting spouses and children they need to show the abuser extra honor, love, respect and don't expect anything in return. They seem to forget they are asking for help, because 'nothing' is what they are getting now.
The church today is teaching a false faith, doctrine and their teachings enable the abuser to continue in their sin. When you see the practices and beliefs that are brought forth from many churches? You plainly see that you may continue to be a Christian, and continue to live in sin - and you will never experience eternal death.
Lets look at Genesis 3, and see the first lie from Satan.
Genesis 3: 4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
Look at the this scripture for a minute! You will not certainly die. You don't have to obey his command, and live as God would ask you to...because you will NOT die.
The same thing is being taught today. You certainly will not die after you are saved EVEN if you continue in your sin. All you have to do is be saved, and you will not suffer eternal damnation EVEN if you continue to follow the path of the abuser.
Even though you do not repent of your sins. Even though you do not TURN from your evils ways, and you will be allowed to continue to live the life of the abuser - you will not DIE and suffer damnation. Why? They state that is because they confess Christ as their Lord.
These are false teachings, and their words look like the picture I supplied today. We will read the bible, and we will tell others God asks us to follow his commands. When issues like domestic violence hits the church? What is the response? Genesis 3: 4 “You will not certainly die,” and in this case it is the church to the abuser. They enable the abuser to continue in their sin, and show the world that God's commands for all are about as good as toilet paper because that is what it is written on.
Preaching repentance? Preaching that you must turn from your sin? Its about good as the toilet paper in the picture when you tell victims of abuse to rely faith only. Rely on the Grace of Christ, and to rely on anything else is to spit on the Cross!
Why? It enables the abuser to continue to live in sin. It tells the family that the church feels you can live with one foot in the church, and the other foot in the world. It tells the family that the church feels its okay to be a lukewarm Christian, and you can claim to be a bride of Christ - and still keep the world as their mistress.
This is a lie that the church places out there. There are commandments that we must live by, and we must flee from sin. To teach otherwise? It makes you a sin enabler. Those that teach and cause the innocent to walk the WIDE path instead of the narrow? They are going to be judged harshly.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Isn't that what the saying is?
Lets put it another way - the road to hell is paved with the false gospel. The road to hell is paved with sweet sounding, sin enabling gospels.
What does the teachings of 'if you would just submit more' or submit properly say? Its says to the families that SIN is no longer a problem. That sin no longer separates us from God. If your abuser is 'reborn' they can continue to live as they once did - prior to their rebirth - and they can continue to live in the world.
In other words, the false doctrine that is taught states you don't risk hell or damnation no matter HOW they live their life. The only thing that matters? That they believe that Jesus is the son of God. According to many churches that is all that matters, and you can not lose your salvation due to continuing to live your life in this sin.
Matthew 7:13 Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.
I remember reading a little while ago about how certain church populations are falling. For myself I feel that is because of the hypocrisy that is in the church. I know many people wailed in disbelief over Westboro Church winning the court case to be able to protest funerals of fallen Military soldiers. We hear about how their signs and their message is contrary to the Gossip.
The church is no better than Westboro Baptist, and their messages of hate at times. The church does similar things as Westboro at times. They tell abusers they don't have to turn from their sins, but tell the family to learn how to LIVE with their sin. If you think about it? They both feel they are to bring a message of love, truth, and scripture. The pain it causes, and the damage that happens? They blame those that are hurting by telling them to get closer to God, because of course their 'message' isn't the issue.
The Victims and Survivors
We so often think of those that lived abuse and escaped it as the victims or survivors. The whole family - including abusers are victims of false teachings of the church when they don't stand up and firmly state THIS is sin! You are distancing yourself from God while living in sin. You can't just say SORRY for my sin, and not flee from that sin. You can't keep your mistress of sin, and think you are passing through that narrow gate.
The survivors can be those that escaped the abuse, and they can also be those that have turned away from their life of targeting abuse towards others. Abusive people are hurting and broken people, and the church sadly are sin enablers. The sin enabling continues as they lay heavy burdens on the family members to walk on eggshells, and offer no hope or peace. They lie to them when they say you will be satisfied if they place that pain on the foot of the cross when the church themselves WON'T even acknowledge the damage it is doing. If you do NOT deal with the root of sin? It will grow and get bigger. Its easy to say GO and place it at the foot of the cross! Do they think about James 4:17 If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.
Stating the church only has 'words' and no actions when downright SIN is involved, and its harming a family? They feel they are protecting the abuser, but they are only sin enablers. They are harming the abuser, and lying to the family when they ask them to endure the sin - while they live their life of peace.
When will the church be the beacon that God wants them to be to the world? When they stop living:
Genesis 3: 4 “You will not certainly die...
When they stop being sin enablers. When they tell the truth to abusers that they will DIE if they don't repent, and flee from sin.
May the Holy Spirit guide you and God keep you safe. Ask for strength and the direction that the Lord wishes you to go. Place your faith that you will be taken care of, and your Lord loves you. Don't rely on those that live the life of YOU will not certainly DIE - remember that was Satan talking. Pray for your abuser as well, because that is something God asks from you.
I will pray for the church, and for all of you. The church speaks of Adam and Eve sinning in Genesis, and I pray that one day they realize the message of YOU WILL NOT DIE should be stricken from their teachings. They can't tell others to live in obedience, and not expect others to flee when they do no do that themselves.
I pray that we will come to the place that we can be that beacon of light to the world, and be as God would have us be. Amen.
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4 comments:
To be fair to my church, the pastors I consulted saw through him after a while (a few years) and said that what he did should not be tolerated, although they never called it abuse. They began to confront him (not realizing that it endangered me) and tried to be brutally frank with him.
But beyond telling me that he was wrong, and telling him that he needed to change, there was no relief for my distress, no validation of abuse, no direction for what to do get healing. More than once, I heard the words, "I'm sorry, I can't help you any more" from experienced and recommended counselors.
It's like they recognized that sin was happening, that my children and I were victims and that he should be counseled to change, but they thought that there must have been something I could have done to change it.
Most of all, they thought that everything would be solved if he would get a revelation of his sinful state, so all that was needed was prayer and faith for a miracle. But they never asked, "What if the miracle doesn't happen?" Do we not have a right to protect ourselves? Apparently not - as long as we were married, we had to be committed to each other. Even if the children were in danger, I had to work on the marriage because marriage is permanent. THAT, to me, is the first big lie.
Then, as you point out, they overlook the fact that they are enabling sin. I don't see how they could be sure that he was even saved, because the Bible is quite clear about how we are to live in Christ. I am most uncomfortable broaching this because I don't want to seem judgmental, but I wonder if you can be an abuser and a follower of Christ at the same time.
Your last question is a good one, and I'm sure one that so many people have asked before. I know I have as well. To me honest I leave that in God's hands, because that is between them. I can only deal with what I'm experiencing. I have no way of knowing, and I may never know. I don't think anyone would judge you for asking the question, because it will come up. They say the fruits of the spirit should be seen, and sadly I think the church tends to go on hunting trips to find that fruit so they don't have to deal with the rest of the mess.
The church's approach shouldn't be that different - if he was or wasn't saved. I mean you are a believer in trouble right? What I have noticed from some well intentioned people is that one of the first questions they ask of a trouble family - are you all saved. I have noticed depending on your answer to them they determine how much spiritual pixie dust they will throw in your direction. In your case the pixie dust was in the form of a miracle.
Churches have a bad habit of wanting to counsel together, or approach the abuser in the fashion they did with you. They have been told that this is a dangerous circumstance you place the family in, and they call it faith in their approach when in reality its truly arrogance.
I mean we tell our children NOT to touch a hot stove, because they will get burned right? What parent would NOT say this to their child, because they have faith God will not allow their child to get burned? I'm sure some would, and they would call it intense faith - most would call it irresponsible. We have roles of parents to teach, and some allow 'faith' to do their job that God has called them to do instead.
I personally hold churches responsible because help is available to them on how to handle these circumstances. They use fear of the outside world as a reason NOT to use it. Funny when their house is burning down - they don't care about the faith of the firemen. If you have conviction (ahem) then make sure those men with hoses claim Jesus Christ before saving your family and home. Right? lol I would hope not okay!
Yet that is what they do with victims. That is what they do with abusers. They fail the whole family, and when they place their pride aside maybe they will see it. God willing!
James says the devils also believe--and tremble. Are devils saved? Mere mental agreement does not make one saved.
I John 1:6 "If we say that we have fellowship with him and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth." The actions of an abuser say he is walking in darkness and therefore does not have fellowship with God. I Peter says his prayers are hindered.
I John 1:7 "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ, his Son, cleanseth us from all sin." An abuser doesn't have fellowship with his wife, either. He may think he does, but she has to hold a part of herself back in order to be safe. That is not real fellowship. And he is certainly not showing signs that he is being cleansed from sin. There is no sign of heart-change, which is the hallmark of a child of God.
I John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." If our confession of sin is genuine, a cleansing will be at work within us. Catherine Clark Kroeger told me her husband used to be abusive. But as he got into the word, he slowly began to change. The word and fellowship with God did cleanse him from unrighteousness. However, many abusive men read their own entitlement and privilege into the word and never getting around to hearing God. For these there is no fellowship with God, because they are not hearing Him. Because they are not hearing God, no cleansing is taking place. Jesus wants us to be both hearers and doers of the word.
Read I John 3. V 6 Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him.
I John 3:9 "Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother."
I John 4: 20-21 "If a man say I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also." (Of course, brother includes sister and wife)
We don't have to do the judging; the word judges. Although Jesus said "Judge not that ye be not judged," there are plenty of other verses that tell us to judge, to discern.
An OT passage does say that "a smoking flax will he not quench" meaning that God is not in a hurry to send folks to hell. As long as there is a little spiritual life, He will not snuff it out.
But the frightening truth is that if an abuser is a "smoking flax," he is in danger of spiritually dying. Fires do not smolder and smoke forever; they eventually go out. When the church teaches abusive husbands that they have authority over their wives, the abusers hear God even less and view their abusive behavior as righteousness. That is a lie, and according to Revelation 21:8 all liars "shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death." Notice that this same fate is for the fearful. So many abused wives are fearful. The whole domestic violence trip is so sad, both in this world and in the next. It is time the church gets real and faces the truth and pulls at least some from that fire.
Very Powerful - Thank you Waneta!
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