I do believe in my heart that people can change from being an abuser to someone that can deal with life in a healthier manner. They need to WANT it bad enough, and when I see abusers stopping because they can't mend those bridges they burnt? It tells me that it was game to them, and change isn't something they wanted truly in their hearts. I can see how that would be discouraging, but if they truly want this change they will continue. They want to stop hurting those close to them. They want to place that root of rage within them away forever. They will find the reasons why they do this, and find true healing for themselves.
(This articles is part of the Series of Emotional and Verbal Abuse your hear, feel, and see. Please check link for the different topics we addressed using segments from the show the Super Nanny)
The only people that know if the parties are sincere in the true form is the parties that are doing the healing themselves. We can say to ourselves they look like they are doing it! It shows they want this! They can place that show out there for people once again, and we need to remember we didn't see it very clear the first time either. Abusers can be one of the best types of con artists I can think of.
The next video Phil Davis learns another form of healthier discipline towards his children. Remember what he is telling people in this video. He never wanted to place the work towards the discipline before - he demanded it!
The next video Morgan got to tell her father things she was never allowed to voice to him. You can see the love she has for this man, and you can see that he also cares for her!
Children that are victims within families that are dealing with domestic violence do still love their parents. They love them despite the damage they have caused. It hard for the children to deal with these feelings as well.
The sad part is that if separation or divorce does happen abusers will use these children as pawns in their striving for the control over all of them. It does damage the children, and once they are old enough it will cause damage to the relationship with their children. They will not always be forced to visit them, and they could lose them forever.
The sad part is they could continue the cycle with their own families. Domestic Violence - can they change? I believe so but they need someone to hold thier feet to the fire to make sure they are held accountable along the way. The spouse isn't that party.
How to Recognize True (and false) Contrition — by Dr. George Simon, Jr.
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2 comments:
However, H - pathologicals: Narcissists, Psychopaths, etc can NOT change. They are hard wired NOT To change. They can "appear" to change for months - even years but this pathology is PERMANENT and unfortunately, UNTREATABLE.
90% of them go undiagnosed because they believe there's nothing wrong with them.
The best thing to do is GET AWAY from this sort of person. Pray for them FROM A DISTANCE but get away as they will suck you dry & destroy you.
I understand Barbara. Even with those that aren't within that category we need to remember God doesn't force anyone. There is a freewill factor as well - God chooses not to control that. They have to want it sincerely. Their actions afterwards will show if they are sincere, or they are just handing over lip service again.
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