I get so frustrated with hate at times. People won’t call it hate, but to me it is hate just the same.
I’m going to start with a story about a time when I was young teenager. The names will be changed, but I wanted to use names so people could get a better visual.
I had a boyfriend named Jay, and his best friend Alex dated a friend of mine from school. We did see each other, and did things together quite a bit.
One day we went over to Alex’s house to play cards I think it was. We walked downstairs to the basement, where his family had the card table, chairs, etc. Off to the side there was a bedroom, and in there were pictures of ‘girls’ all over the walls. I remarked to Alex that I surprised he had all those pictures on his wall when he claimed to ‘love’ my friend. Everyone except me was giggling at this point, and I knew I was missing something. They told me that this wasn’t Alex’s room in the basement, but his adult sister’s room. Yes. Alex’s sister was a lesbian.
A few weeks later Alex’s parents allowed he and Jay to hold a small party with a few friends down in the basement. Jay and I along with other friends were sitting around the pit group talking. Then I heard someone else come down the stairs, and she announced to her brother ‘I brought a man this time!” It was Alex’s sister, and she introduced the man to him.
The next thing I knew she walked over to get something, and tripped on something laying on the floor. She landed right in my lap. My reaction? I got her up off me so fast it wasn’t even funny. I think everyone felt my reaction was one of being startled when she fell on me out of no where. I knew differently, and after that happened I was so ashamed of myself. How could I react that way? I would have never reacted that way to someone that was heterosexual.
I allowed the fear, stereotypes, and culture to have me react in ways I hated. I was so mad and disappointed in myself. I was acting homophobic, and was prejudiced against someone I didn’t even know.
I don’t think I had ever met a lesbian up to that point. WELL at least not that knew of. I knew I had to learn to change that reaction, because it wasn’t healthy – and it would be unreasonably hurtful to others. It was MY issue not theirs. A far cry from a proper Christian response.
I did grow up and grow out of that type of response. I have worked and dealt with people that were homosexual since that day, and thankfully I have never had that fearful reaction again. I can’t say I understand the lifestyle, but learning some grace I don’t have to be uncomfortable or fearful now. I have met some very nice people, and some NOT so nice. (giggles) just like any other human interaction!
I realize what the Christian response is to the issue of homosexuality, but I have to admit that is an area I struggle with. You won’t see me taking a stand in either direction, because I don’t feel right either way. I do know I will not hate, nor will I react in ways I did as a teenager. I will not fear homosexuality, because fear brings out the worse in people. I treat them as I would anyone else. I am ashamed of some of the Christian responses, because at times they can very vile.
I think I realized I grew once I was new parent. I brought my daughter down to where my grandparents lived for a visit. That Sunday we went to church, and the pastor preached the most hateful sermon towards homosexuality. I was downright appalled and offended. Hate had no business in the pulpit. He was encouraging fear, resentment, and revenge towards those that were brave enough to come out. There was steam coming out of my ears by the end. I just couldn’t believe my ears! How DARE he! You never should encourage HATE!
I realize there will be people that never accept the lifestyle, and my own grandparents would be in agreement with that. There is a huge difference between that and being hateful towards the lifestyle. There are plenty of things I don’t accept in life, but I don’t go out of my way to throw judgment and pain towards them. I try my best to do the opposite. People do that to feel justified in their beliefs, and not because the lifestyle is right or wrong. Can we at least be honest about that?
There is a way to bring your beliefs across without being offensive. Being offensive because they seem to think they are ‘right’ on purpose like we all know people do? I will admit I lose respect for people that do that so fast. There is nothing there to respect as far as I’m concerned. No one is justified in being hurtful on purpose. Its an attitude and heart issue. There are ways of saying you don’t accept, without being a jerk. Period.
Incongruous Circumspection wrote today:
That's it. The thing is, I'm not settled on the answer and I never intend to be. If I do decide it is wrong, I'm going to be forced into some sort of life flip-flop every time I talk to or hang out with some of my dear friends who are gay. I'm going to have to have that nagging, gnawing feeling every time I approach or chat with my gay relatives. If I decide it isn't wrong, I will be alienating many of the people I love. In fact, the issue is so important to some, that they may reject me as a legitimate human being – one that cannot be trusted or easily dismissed as foolish, regardless of the wisdom of my words on related or unrelated subjects.Sigh. It can be a struggle.
The black and white of this issue in the way he describes it? I can empathize. People will damn you in your struggle. Just another subject Christians don’t want people to talk about.
With the political environment today regarding gay marriages? The part that really ticked me off about it was preachers claiming those marriages will be the downfall of the family.
Why does it tick me off? We have churches FULL of people dealing with drugs, booze, porn, domestic violence, child abuse, sexual abuse that tears apart the fabric of the ‘heterosexual’ (talking generally here) families. We hear remarks from Misogynist preachers about if we accept ‘women’ into certain places of ministry – are we expected to tolerate gays next?
My response? Nope. We realize you can’t handle dealing with your version of “God’s people” with issues NOW, because they are the elephant in the living room already! HOW would anyone expect you to ‘tolerate’ those outside of your acceptable lifestyle. You can’t deal with what you got at this POINT!
SERIOUSLY! We realize its to much for you already! I just don’t understand the marketing and piles of money you are throwing at this! You have PLENTY on your plate already that is tearing apart the fabric of families, but instead of dealing with it? You make it seem like if gay marriages happen it will be a a contagious virus, and everyone will catch it! You do realize you are just taking the easy road by not dealing with things you have right in front of your nose now, and pretending that the homosexuals are taking over the world.
To the haters of the world that claim to follow Christ? How about you use the advice you have no issue giving those that struggle outside your dreaded topic.
Live it at the cross.
Only think the best of them.
Give them benefit of the doubt.
Forgive and forget.
We could go on. I think you get the picture.
Those don't work for you?
Why it is they should work for the families that came to you for help?
Not the same? How about the shoe is on the other foot now.
Don't use the homosexual lifestyle as an excuse NOT to deal with bigger issues that are tearing society up.
Get off the hate train - we have bigger fish to fry.
I have to admit I struggle with this issue, but I know hate isn't what God would wish. Love our enemies? To the haters - is that conditional?
Its just another issue the church seriously need to look at better. This isn’t an easy issue either, but YESH the fear mongering doesn’t help anything.
Okay. Frustration out.
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