I was reading a discussion recently about masculinity. I guess I shouldn’t have been so surprised as to what some felt the term consisted of.
As much as the church tries to tell you to stay away from worldly concepts? It seems the traits of masculinity have indeed been poisoned by culture.
You at times get this impression of the burly man that is career driven to support his family. He will be a sportsman on the side, and go out of his way to show strength more in the physical manner than anything. He is the top dog that just oozes manly man, and people just rush to respect and honor. He will use his inner courage to stand firm against the world, because he is gatekeeper for his family. The image we get from most sources is not so approachable.
You almost have to stand back, and wonder HOW do you approach such a person?
We concentrate so much on actions or behaviors in the sense of gender, and yet to me its more about character. The character of the person is more important than some masculine trait that some church leader claims you should have. Masculine traits are cultural. One person’s view of masculinity may not be the view of another.
I remember a video of Mark Driscoll taking a questions from his congregation. One comment was about circumstances of a stay at home father. He immediately emasculates the man, and then asks his wife to basically back him up. Which she did by saying she couldn’t respect a man that doesn’t support his family.
Strange how pastors can break that cardinal rule of not doing something to emasculates a man isn’t it?
Income to a family is important don’t get me wrong! If you have a family in which income is being taken care of by the woman, and its agreed upon? Who is Driscoll to say it is sin? I’m sorry but ‘supporting a family’ is so much more than income. It’s sad that so many people are so closed minded that they can’t see that. What one family may need may not be what another family may need in the form of support of the family. Support should be seen by the circumstances.
Proverbs 28:6 Better the poor whose walk is blameless than the rich whose ways are perverse.
This is a character trait, and not something that is based in a cultural role. It’s a virtue of the person. Support as the definition seen by the Driscoll’s example maybe hard to accomplish by people that are poor income wise. The person’s walk is what God looks to. There are plenty of families that go hungry and are homeless. Their character and their integrity are not bruised just by this circumstance. Read Proverbs again!
The concept of character can imply a variety of attributes including the existence or lack of virtues such as integrity, courage, fortitude, honesty, and loyalty, or of good behaviors or habits.
Jeremiah 17:10 “I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.”
Not knowing the circumstance in which the man that asked the question about the stay at home Dad there is no way he was able to know this man’s heart and mind. There is no way of knowing how his wife viewed his conduct or deeds.
For all we know she looked upon him with honor and respect, but due to the cultural shift in churches that try to define biblical roles for gender? He may have placed Mark’s opinion of himself above his wife’s opinion. This form of shame can cause friction within the home that should not be there.
Its circumstances like these that make the blanket requirements that you see so often that I feel give undue burdens to others. I think most people realize there is a right way and wrong way to do things. If a man or a women decides they are going to be a stay at home parent? Most assume they know the responsibilities that come along with that job. YES it is a JOB among other things! If the person wants to stay home, and place the children in front of the television, because they want to do online gambling for example? Gender wouldn’t matter for people to realize that their conduct and deeds are not in the right place. If wouldn’t matter if the gambling brought in tons of cash either.
The video in question has Driscoll’s wife giggling at the thought of him being at home taking care of the children and household. She snickers, and says, ‘Lets just say its better that I’m doing it!” That’s FINE, but its NOT fine that they judge another family by their own personal assets and debits.
Jesus Christ is the perfect expression of all that we are called to be. Its not because he was man, but because he shows us the virtues that God loves. It wasn’t because he showed some ‘masculine’ trait by putting the pharisees in their place, or by showing a ‘feminine’ trait by being nurturing in other circumstances. Yes, I generalized to make a point! (Grin!)
Today we seem more concentrated on types of behavior, or occupations, etc. They seem to base character and spiritual identity on defined traits more than on TRUE character and integrity.
It befuddles the mind that people just assume men are ‘soft’ due to occupations like Stay at Home father, or maybe musician, designer, etc. They look to the construction worker or business man for a more proper definition.
Did it never entered their minds that this is the world’s way of judging people? When did we decide to bypass the character part? You can’t automatically judge by a honorable occupation, which all of them mentioned are. Jesus can be a tendered hearted man, or a vocal man when it comes to others and circumstances.
When you have a interior designer and a truck driver standing in front of you? Why do we assume if the wrong gender is standing in the shoes of the occupation that they can’t be properly emulating the character that God would approve of? That is cultural and that is worldly, and yet we use it all the time.
It is all about Christ start to finish is it not?
Are we like Christ in all that we do, whatever it is? Are we like Christ when engaged in our hobbies, our work, or obligations, our parenting? If so then the Holy Spirit will not only allow us to be ourselves, but the Holy Spirit will mold into our character the very image of Christ's own person. Man can’t do that by defining ‘roles’ the way we do. Let the Holy Spirit do the job God called the Holy Spirit to do for goodness sakes – its NOT YOUR ROLE!
It doesn't matter what the world might say regarding what's masculine and feminine. The real issue is... are men and women imaging Christ in their lives and allowing the Holy Spirit to mold and make them what God designed them to be? Or are we being molded by some pastor’s definition of that?
If there weren't any traits specific to gender there wouldn't be genders some state. Sorry but they miss the point.
Some man viewed trait doesn’t make the gender. Doctrines aren’t needed to define this. Anyone can point out a woman that is more nurturing than another. Anyone can point out one man that is stronger (physical strength) than another.
That doesn’t mean that one is more ‘biblically defined’ than the other.
There are characteristics that make the genders different like our plumbing! (giggles) It’s okay to say ‘generally’ women can be more nurturing and men have more physical strength. GENERALLY, it could be true! Those are gifts that God blessed them with, and others that have more or less of that particular gift doesn’t make them more or less man or woman.
We were lovingly made customized AS IS, and God us loves this way! That is HIS definition of US! He looks to your character as a person – your heart, motives, deeds – our insides I guess you could say NOT the plumbing!
People YACK to much about this silly concept of ‘gender sameness’. How the world is ‘gender confused’. Can we say that people are over thinking this stuff? It seriously is very dumb.
When God looks at the Christian Female Truck Driver and the Male Stay At Home Dad? He looks into their heart, and examines their mind as scripture says. (Giggles) He doesn’t say you two switch jobs and then we will talk! Nope. Just silly Christians do that.
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