Marriage can only have one head.
If it has two heads then it becomes a two-headed monster.
I think I must first warn you that I’m on a soap box today. I first read Mara’s article, Have you heard this one? I then moved onto Wartburg Watch, and their article Is Racial Solidary really possible in the SBC?
Prejudice Is Ignorance
I guess I first need to explain. I will be speaking from the eyes of a small child that watched her parents fight in a southern atmosphere during the civil rights, freedom riders, Martin Luther King, Jr. times. They both grew up in an atmosphere of bigotry, and they were both lead by the Holy Spirit to stand up for what was right and just on this issue.
From what I have gathered they waited until adulthood, and away from the immediate family pressure to do everything they wished to do. They did small things prior, but went all out once the restrictions of their family life was removed.
I remember my own grandfather telling me that he sent his good Christian girl off to Baylor thinking it was a good Christian college – and they ‘ruined her’. Mom told me later she just felt more free to express their beliefs later in life. They were always there.
During that time if you did such a thing you were the worse of the worse. You were the white traitors, and dealt with contempt.
If you watched any of the Freedom Riders program you would understand how truly UNCOMFORTABLE at the very least this stand would place you in if you were in the South. Which is where we were.
My brother and I never saw my parents treat people of color any different than anyone else. They repeated over and over again, ‘Prejudice is ignorance’. They showed us what that meant, and I’m truly thankful for that.
My children have friends from just about every background imaginable. I realize they know history, but their freedom of having those friends with no attitude, comments, and sense of bigotry like I saw in childhood? That is SO big to me!
Prejudice Is Ignorance
This comment can be applied to so much more than my childhood experiences with seeing direct racism.
Prejudice is about power and authority in the eyes of a bigot. If you attempt to place the bigot on the same plain with the source of their prejudice? They see it as taking their power and authority away. Its almost as if the competition is being handed things that was ‘theirs alone’, and they are being forced to share.
In their own pride, selfish nature they lash back. The sense of superiority that they had been raised with is seen as being unjustly taken away.
The Prejudice is ignorance comment that I learned from childhood applies here. Sadly, their response is what is dangerous, damaging and downright hurtful. They seem to think life would be the Dr. Doolittle's push me pull me animal.
I’m going to ‘pull me’ as hard as I can to keep my authority and superiority, and at times I will violently resist the ‘push me’ source of prejudice to view them any different.
If you read any of the myths of what would happen to society if blacks were given this position? You can feel what I’m speaking about. I remember ONE in particular, black men would rape white women.
Their true fear was/is ignorance. With ignorance came hate, contempt, name calling, labeling, lies, etc. Yes, Prejudice is ignorance.
Critics of Soft Complementarianism
I have often read statements being critical of the focus of service towards others when it came to men within the family life. They say it lacks direction, and how you can do this while keeping your God given authority.
No offense, but if they seem to not grasp, ‘I came to serve, and not to be served’. Does Jesus in the bible lack direction?
When Jesus was here on earth he would serve others, and yet sure he spoke of his authority.
It wasn’t due to his ‘maleness’, but due to the fact he was the Son of God. When he spoke of his authority it was always within that realm, and yet he never did have an issue with service towards others. Being the son of God, and being male isn’t the same thing. Sorry boys!
It never confused him. He didn’t view giving his authority away by his service towards others.
Well, we start with the premise that head means boss/leader in the first place. I'm not going to get all into the Greek and culture of the time argument. There are many good sources that questions the head=boss song and dance. No, I'm going to start somewhere else.
Matthew 6:24 “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.
Luke 16:13 No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.”
When a woman gets married, she suddenly gains two heads because Jesus or God should be her head or master and comp/patriarchal teaching gives her another master.
IF head means boss/leader/authority then married women have two heads and they deal with this two-headed monster dilemma anyway.
BUT if head doesn't mean boss/leader/authority then the dilemma is gone. And so is the problem of the two-headed monster. And perhaps this can then be applied: Two heads are better than one. (sorry, couldn't resist)
The way many view the biblical role of headship is seen by many as a sense of superiority. I realize they will say that is NOT the case, but their actions and attitudes are indeed what places that viewpoint in the eyes of others none the less.
We spoke recently of Jack Schaap’s radical view. I realize some are NOT so in your face about their views, but being subtle about it makes it no difference. Unlike the past, you can’t burn buses, hang people, beat the daylights out of them, but you SURE can use words to scare them!
This therapeutic orientation of contemporary evangelicalism is the reason, Wilcox explains, evangelicals don’t seem to speak often of male headship in terms of authority (and certainly not patriarchy), but usually in terms of a “servant leadership” defined as watching out for the best interests of one’s family—without specifics on what this leadership looks like. Thus, “headship has been reorganized along expressive lines, emptying the concept of virtually all of its authoritative character.
It is noteworthy that the vitality in evangelical complementarianism right now is among those who are willing to speak directly to the implications and meaning of male headship—and who aren’t embarrassed to use terms such as “male headship.Its strange to me that people can read the bible about the ‘servant leadership’ of Jesus, and yet claim they need specifics in order to not lose their ‘authoritative character’. Was their type of authority that important to Jesus? He never mentioned it if it was.
Matthew 20:25 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Now how does,
‘If the marriage has two heads it becomes a two headed monster’
‘He is given the last word’
‘Marriage is like the Military, and the husband is the head’
line up with the spirit of what Jesus is speaking about in Matthew!
As long as you are not completely jaded in life MOST can respect a person that truly serves others to their benefit – and not their own. I mean that is what ministry is about! Is that not the type of respect that would be honorable to God?
Its sad that we hear more about what to do for your husband in order for them to ‘feel’ respect. We all need love and respect, and we would be in a sore place if we did not receive that from someone. As people of Faith we are to rely on God in those times, but it is not meant to be the norm.
When people make remarks like the two headed monster? That is pride talking. When you explain its not about being head, but being heard? You are accused of buying in the feminist agenda. You are labeled. We you try to explain that is more about respect or self respect? They don’t burn your bus, but they do divert the subject into blurring the gender lines. They also inform you that you are buying into what the secular media wants you to believe.
So instead of talking about issues, and fulfilling the role that should be plain to everyone? They decide what you should be happy with, and make all kinds of assumptions in order for you to either accept or walk away labeled as an ‘unbeliever’. They used to do that to the blacks in the south as well. I can’t tell you how many bigots BELIEVED they were the black man’s best friend!
Prejudice Is Ignorance
Mark10:13 Some people brought children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples scolded the people.14 When Jesus noticed this, he was angry and said to his disciples, Let the children come to me, and do not stop them, because the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these.15 (I)I assure you that whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.
16 Then he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on each of them, and blessed them.
How can you remind the world they need to respect your ‘authority’ due to maleness, and yet claim you received the Kingdom of God like a child?
Mark 10:17-31 MKJV And when He had gone out into the way, one came running up and kneeled to Him, and asked Him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life? (18) And Jesus said to him, Why do you call Me good? No one is good except one, God. (19) You know the commandments: Do not commit adultery, do not kill, do not steal, do not bear false witness, do not defraud, honor your father and your mother. (20) And he answered and said to Him, Teacher, all these I have observed from my youth. (21) Then Jesus, beholding him, loved him and said to him, One thing you lack. Go, sell whatever you have and give it to the poor, and you shall have treasure in Heaven. And come, take up the cross and follow Me. (22) And he was sad at that saying and went away grieved, for he had great possessions. (23) And Jesus looked around and said to His disciples, How hardly those having riches will enter into the kingdom of God! (24) And the disciples were astonished at His words. But Jesus answering again said to them, Children, how hard it is for those who trust in riches to enter into the kingdom of God! (25) It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich one to enter into the kingdom of God. (26) And they were astonished beyond measure, saying to themselves, And who can be saved? (27) And Jesus looking on them said, With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible. (28) Then Peter began to say to Him, Lo, we have left all and have followed You. (29) And Jesus answered and said, Truly I say to you, There is no man that has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands for my sake and the gospel's sake, (30) but he shall receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands with persecutions, and in the world to come, eternal life. (31) But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.
I honestly believe the money that in this story? It doesn’t just have to be money. It could be anything you are NOT willing to give up. In some cases booze, drugs, porn, and yes even their sense of ‘who should in charge!” That would be God, and just because we are called to be Christ like doesn’t mean we are.
(31) But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.
How does that translate to the authority crowd? I honestly believe they are missing the point! Nothing is being taken from you, and much will be given. Women couldn’t take the authority if it were God given, and yet you hear about the threat all the time! That is either they don’t believe God gave them this gift, or they have little faith that God would not strip it from them.
To me they seem to try to borrow some ‘authority’ that Jesus had, and then use it as a means to the end. We are to be Christlike, but that doesn’t mean we have the worldly type of authority that you hear preached. Jesus spoke against that.
The two men in Matthew 20 also asked to be the second in command. Mat 20:23 And He said to them, You shall indeed drink of My cup and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with; but to sit on My right hand and on My left is not Mine to give, but to those for whom it has been prepared by My Father.
Where in scripture does it state God has prepared that for husbands or wives? It doesn’t.
There are many good men. MANY Good men! Then you have have the ones that teach ‘superiority’, and can say that they don’t teach that all they wish! Its plain as day to most. You don’t have to use the word in order to see it actions, beliefs, and teachings. Its just a childish game, and something the bible states once you grow up? You don’t play anymore!
Its another form of bigotry. I see it with the lies they spread, and the stereotypes they use to scare people with. Their way of dealing with objections? You don’t have a problem with me – you have a problem with God! Talk to HIM! Is that response even humble? No. Its meant to shut down the conversation.
The Wartburg article they spoke about how the SBC could be trying to attract more African Americans to the SBC due to their falling membership. I doubt that will happen. History shows the damage of the ‘old boys network’. People of color felt that sting. It would be a double bond of oppression for women of color, because we all know bigotry isn't’ completely dead. Personally, its sounds like a desperate move by the SBC to me. It sure didn’t stop them from tooting their horn though, because they allowed their first black officer. Doesn’t the bible say not to do that as well – tooting the horn?
Once it was acceptable to the church to be bigots towards people of color. Times have changed that, and its not acceptable anymore. Sadly, the prejudice is more geared towards women and homosexuality. One of the famous myths today? If we accept females, what’s next? HOMOSEXUALITY?!
Bleck! Will the church that has grown up and have big kid britches on please stand up?
Prejudice is Ignorance. I hope it dies a quick death.
Thanks For Making This Possible! Kindly Bookmark and Share it: