Preacher's Wife Guilty

Ponderings on a Faith Journey Wrote about Mary Winker's conviction of killing her Husband.

But the family, as traumatized as they must be, aren't the only parties involved. There is also a church, now without a pastor and facing questions about its judgment in selecting a pastor. From Ted Parks' article in the Church of Christ magazine the Christian Chronicle, we find out more about what's going on from within.

**The church’s progress after the shattering loss does not mean the congregation fully comprehends what happened the Wednesday morning in March 2006 when Matthew Winkler died.

**“The pieces just do not fit together,” said Fourth Street rember Pam Killingsworth. “I think there’s some things that weren’t meant to be understood. And we’re just going to have to live with that fact and go on with our lives.

**“At this point,” she added, “I’m ready just to give it to God, and let him take care of it.”

Indeed, this is a tragedy that affects families, congregations, and the church at large. in a week when we contemplate acts of violence, we find that this story is added to the others, and we grieve and we wonder. We pray and hope for better days.

Mary Winkler's story reminds us that even within the sanctity of a family, yes a clergy family, all may not be right. It's too bad that Mary didn't have a safe haven, but as is true of many pastor's wives there appears to have been no place to go and so she suffered in silence so as not to embarrass her husband -- until it was too late.

Within his writings he posted to an article Winkler case tests church, pulls it closer. It speaks of the Winker's church, and their moving on after this awful situtation that has happened.



Personally, the article really bothered me (Not the blogger - the article he linked to). They spoke alot about the ways they are moving on, and claims of being very much closer. I have to wonder how that can be since they have never truly dealt with the fact domestic abuse or violence effected their church in such a way....and yet they won't really speak about it. I'm NOT saying they need to take sides, or that they are not praying enough for this family after the fact. They spoke of the grieving and the forgiving and the almost constant prayers for all involved.



They have yet to speak about Domestic Abuse. It truly doesn't matter if they FEEL she isn't telling the truth about their beloved Pastor. The fact they have to KNOW some have doubts should give the opportunity to open that door! They had the opportunity to educate people on this, and make sure they KNEW they were a safe haven to come to in times of trouble. Instead they choose to basically say they feel that maybe some things are not meant to be understood.......and they will give it to God.



Domestic violence or abuse in all forms effects such HUGE numbers of people, and YES it is very confusing to deal with! It makes NO SENSE in alot of cases, and I can understand WHY other's doubt because of that! If you educate yourself on this subject it will make more sense. I think that is where the huge lacking is started. Like the Church of the Winklers "we don't understand so we will give it to God" is used out of fear I guess. It breaks my heart because the church could make this HUGE impact on lifes if they would TRY to understand. We will never understand it all, or never "GET" all of it. The mindsets are very complex, but the basics would be nice!



In the years since I started this blog I have found very little as far as sermons that I could post on this subject. I have asked Pastor's in the past WHY that is as well. There were all kinds of responses that to me were based more in FEAR and lack of ACCEPTANCE of their flock towards this issue being heard more than anything. The secular world is pulling ahead of them because of this bubble they tend to try to hide in. People have said SOME ways of worshiping (denominations) are more prone to allow this to happen than others. I personally dont believe that. There is no place where more blame is to placed. We are all guilty.



If they feel I'm wrong........ask them when is the last time they did a sermon on domestic abuse in their church. NOT a mention of it - the THEME! The SURE numbers of people - men and women - children and extended families that are effected by this should show they SHOULD be preaching about it! I think part of it is they are afraid they will open the floodgates within their church, and I can understand that as well! That is WHY you get your support network in PLACE before you do that! Their are ministries and local agencies that WILL respect your faith, and want to help your flock. They don't have to take this on alone, NOR should they! The basics should be understood so you can send them places that they can get help, and churches can support and help on the spiritual aspect! THERE your load is lightened already! LOL! There is nothing wrong with it either - you need experts!



Prayers are needed that these stories in the news lately of domestic abuse within Christian homes will WAKE UP some to speak against this awful AWFUL sin that is happening everywhere! We are to come along side and help the wounded. We have to educate ourselves FIRST, and then finally when ready take that toe and dip it into the waters of a world we have just begun to understand.



We as the church can do this! Lets us show the world HOW MUCH SO!

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