First off I want to say that I feel badly for what has happened in their lives - both her and husband's!
I also want to say I'm not so sure I agree with the avenue she seems to be taking. She mentions at the beginning of the video that people were offering prayers for her after this happened. Those prayers made her feel weak. That made me feel uneasy right off the bat! I'm NOT saying prayers can't do that to a person, but I would assume those prayers were meant to uplift her in this awful time in her life! They were not given with some manipulative tone that you hear some use them as! WHY would she see those prayers as a Damsel in Distress? The Victim? She may have a similar experience to a lot of people when it comes to domestic abuse, but I sincerely believe she isn't ready to become advocate of this cause! How many people that have had this happen to them are emotionally, physically, etc ready for such a job? She was silent on this issue as she mentions, but now wishes to speak out. Speaking out is fine - especially about her OWN experiences maybe...or others since he is in the front of the media as well.
Having had this happen to you doesn't automatically give you the green light to become an advocate! There are a lot of things you must learn, and changes within yourself you MUST happen before then! It doesn't just TAKE a couple of weeks either! She might be a wonderful advocate somewhere down the road, and I'm NOT saying she can't speak on the issue! She doesn't have the qualifications to be an advocate in the realm in which I think she means! I have to wonder if she is getting caught up in this whole mess! I'm sure she means well!
I agree with her stating that most of the world HIDES from this issue, and its no secret what I feel with in the faith realm in regarding to that statement! They are lacking worse in more cases than the secular world! If she brings this cause UPFRONT where it belongs I'm all for that, but she has to be VERY careful with how she plans to do that! She has a lot of healing that needs to be done, and I'm NOT saying God isn't calling her to this cause....that isn't my MINE to call! I think she is pushing way to hard for now, and needs to concentrate on HER! She could be a very good spokesperson down the road, but she is to broken...because SHE is human like anyone else and that DOESN'T make you WEAK to admit that! All people that are involved in domestic abuse are broken, and that doesn't mean LESS THAN or objects of PITY! That doesn't HAND them the trophy of VICTIM HOOD! lol! People get so carried away with that! People become broken with all kinds of uglies in this life, and restoring yourself is part of it as well! Granted some roads are worse than others, and some woundedness is worse as well! She needs to stop thinking in terms of stereotypes, and realize she is human and its okay to say I'M Broken but I'm working on being RESTORED! With abuse the mindset of the individual must also change - that job isn't just for the abuser!
By her own admission the NIGHT in the parking lot was the first clue that her relationship had a bit more problems than usual. She hid her issues, and she didn't speak out about them. Why? I believe she has stated before she speaks of other aspects of her life! Abuse THRIVES in silence, and her judgement call she needs to admit was AWFUL...not just mention this is something she kept to herself! Her denial of the past is part of moving forward, and owning your part in this! The denial keeps us within the relationship! Our hiding does also! YES there are reasons for that, but if we can't even admit the hiding and denial was there.....lol when is the healing and growing going to begin? I mean that aspect of this! If she didn't have the wealth and the power to rid herself of him from her life.......would he really be gone now? I'm sure she might say YES, but when you are a different position...you just never know!
One point she did make VERY well is the fact that you didn't see to many celebrities or public people speaking out about THEIR experiences with this did you? Society as a WHOLE does in a lot of ways place this on the back burner as people that fight for this cause get burnt to a crisp with their efforts to change! There was a lot of media on this, and a lot of opinions on WHO did what WHEN...Who said THIS or THAT...and she is RIGHT! That isn't the issue here! Domestic abuse needs to come out of the closet! October is domestic violence month, and there are other causes as well that use this month....and you see a lot MORE coverage for that! It is a very scary subject for ALL involved, but if we are make a difference it has to be HEARD and recognized! She may be able to HELP there, but that is AFTER she heals herself! If that makes her feel weak.....she needs to check her pride a bit! Everyone involved with abuse has to do that, and its not easy.....and if she feels she will overcome THAT is part of it!
I will admit I don't know much about her story, but her not willing to admit to that reporter that she had been in another relationship with abuse.......just shows its a pattern in her life! Its very well documented if you don't take care of your issues it WILL happen again! Getting them OUT of your life is just the first one! Separation from the abuser is just the very FIRST baby step towards making yourself abuse free! That doesn't mean you won't run into an abusive personality again - it means you are better equipped to deal with it properly! We can see it sooner before the horror takes over our lives! We learn when to walk away EARLIER even if it breaks our hearts, and we are STRONG enough to use the LAW if necessary to KEEP them away for good! We are OKAY with people NOT agreeing with us, and are still very comfortable with what we feel! We find ways of NOT allowing people to make us feel stupid, worthless, or as if we deserves this! There are ALL kinds of factors that you may have - and another person has a different set to own! If we have a pattern in our lives, and that doesn't always have to be bad relationships in the past........we have certain mindsets we MUST get ourselves out of as well!
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