When Loving Him Hurts had a very spot on article about the neutral position churches seem to take when it comes to the very HAIRY position of meddling in domestic violence! lol yes I had to throw in some sarcasm there!
How many people have heard comments similiar to this?
We won’t sides: Even though he has been threatening, we won’t take sides as there is always two sides to every story.
He must be in pain over the split and that is why he is mistreating you
He needs as much protection from you as you do from him
We won’t get involved because we want to maintain relationships with him
We won’t confess he has mistreated you, we will just keep emphasising that he is hurting
You must have done something to trigger his anger
We won’t hold him accountable as we don’t want him to feel worse or upset him even further
The part that floored me is he wasn't even her husband either! I guess I had been concentrating SO much on marriages that I never stopped to realize how completely NEUTRAL they are in other relationships also! Well - Okay I hadn't thought of it recently!
These questions kind of triggered me into asking some questions!
When was the last time you read in the bible Jesus stating he wouldn't take sides? He wouldn't do that until he knew BOTH sides of the story! lol Okay - just wouldn't take sides....he knew both sides already didn't he?!
Makes excuses for someone that sinned against another by remarking, "You realize YOU hurt HIM when you broke UP!" or anything ELSE close to that?
I don't want to stand up to him, because I need his relationship!
Holding hurting people accountable is a HUGE no no in the eye of the Lord! You might hurt him MORE!
That author is SO right - major BLECK! I mean where is the BACK BONE or SPINE or any other type of term you wish to use in those types of comments?
victims of abuse are chastised for not making a stand and then beaten down again because her community won’t stand up and confront with her and for her.
My goodness isn't that the truth! OH! We forgot one additional factor (if it's marriage anyway)...we can't make those stats on Christian marriages WORSE now can we!
Lets take a hot topic that we have all heard in the news recently...homosexuality. We have all heard the powerful stands on that subject didn't we? Why do they wimp out on others? I don't mean to name call, but for goodness sakes! Where the heck did the accountability go? WHen did we lose that? Is there an exception clause I missed in the bible that shows it only applies in CERTAIN relationships? Can someone clue me in here?
If anything, this experience taught me a lot about how our Christian values that were intended to be the moral fibre of our hearts and a firm foundation for our communities can be so distorted and weakened that we give evil power and the power of good is once again seen as the losers team.
It has also taught me how I can educate and support the church in applying wisdom to working with abused women and how to give the perpetrator the best support by taking away his perceived rights to control and own his partner.
Lets all stand up and give this author a ROUND of APPLAUDS! Churches need to stop this neutral stand on domestic violence, and grow up and smell the reality! Your NOT following your OWN biblical guidelines....open the bible up again - ITS IN THERE!
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