- The passage from Malachi is just as much about the community's unfaithfulness to God as about any individual covenant violation, but, too often the abusive husband (and his sometimes unwitting confederate, the usually male pastor) find it convenient to use Malachi's words exclusively to bind the victim.
That's the part I never understood! Why intend to force them to stay, and NOT address the portion that making them - to put simplistically - happy, safe and in peace? In most cases victims wish the abuse to stop, but not always the marriage to end. When they realize the domestic abuse isn't going to end or even be addressed that is when idea of fleeing comes up.
To me this type of approach is to manipulate someone to stay, and is that really want God would wish from this pastor?
- In Malachi's time, most if not all divorces were initiated by men; the clear intent of the passage is to protect women from being selfishly abandoned, not to prevent women in violent situations from finding safety.
That also seems like common sense. To me God wouldn't wish someone to stay in bondage, because everyone chooses to ignore the reasons for the bondage. I mean is marriage truly suppose to be bondage? I'm NOT talking about the one flesh bond here! When you are dealing with domestic violence within marriage quoting passages to make the victim second guess herself and NOT address the factor of her safety overall is sin. Its a manipulative way of keeping her there, and you are basically saying her safety isn't important to God. That is a lie! God does care about the safety of victims, and these pastors are acting like the ones that walked passed the victim in the story of the good Samaritan! They are walking on the other side of the road, and totally ignoring the morality of what they should be doing and what God calls us to do.
- It's convenient for abusers and their confederates to emphasize only the first words of Malachi 2:16, "God hates divorce," leaving out the part where God hates it when a man covers himself with violence. Even if we accept the interpretation that "violence" here refers to the divorce itself, it seems self-serving to ignore the violence within an abusive marriage--and that the biblical caution is principally aimed at the man. Look at the tenderness with which Malachi talks about the ideals of marriage; compare that to the selfish domination of an abusive marriage.
When I hear about how the portion AFTER the comma in this all famous quote is misapplied in the fashion that the author states above I have to wonder if these Pastor's truly know the spirit of what Jesus represents. They are quoting the words, and NOT getting the message! The fact that domestic violence is illegal as well, and the pastor's are telling the family to ignore that portion just plain shocks me! They never stop to think of the brokenness of the abuser, and they fact that they are NOT safe to the family! They need to be removed so their root of rage, and true brokenness needs to be healed. That their family needs a separate type of healing, and above all a sense of safety within the home.
All to often we see families in the news in areas that are war torn, and we feel sorry for all of them! We wish we could find some way of making the war end, and have peace come over their lives! We THANK God for the blessed place he has placed us in, and mourn for those families living in terror! Do people forget that those that deal with domestic abuse within the christian home are living something similar to those they mourn for on the television? They may not have bullets, bombs, and solders but they do have an abusive christian spouse that is having them live in a type of war zone they seem to ignore.
- The Bible itself doesn't support misplaced and selfish literalism. In God's name, Ezra commands divorce (Ezra 10:10-11) in the same sort of larger situation Malachi addresses--namely when Judah breaks faith and goes after daughters of foreign gods. In an abusive marriage, hasn't faith also been broken?
Protection from Abuse, Violence against Women (or men), Emotional abuse with the marriage, or emotional abuse of a child needs to be dealt with with some common sense! Controlling behavior needs to be addressed! Martial abuse, Traumatic bonding at times as well needs to be taken seriously. Prayer is always welcome, but sacrifice on the behalf of believers to make sure what is morally correct needs to happen! We need to stop the invalidation of the fear and agony that is happening within christian homes! Sermons on Domestic abuse or Sermons on Domestic Violence needs to happen ALOT more often! Most people state they have NEVER heard one!
- Malachi says, "... The Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her ...." How dare anyone cover abuse with public piety when God witnesses the true state of affairs, even though the church and the pastor might be clueless?
I have to wonder at times what the Lord says to these pastors and abusive spouses come judgement day when he KNOWS they KNOW what is really going on, and make some choices NOT to deal with it! How they allowed headship to be used as a tool that is not fashioned after what scripture says it is. How submission is used as a weapon to guilt those that are broken under the bondage of abuse. When you read James 3 and try to tell families that verbal abuse and emotionally abuse isn't REAL abuse! That's a lie! Prayer for the abused is always welcome as I mentioned, but healing must take place as well. When you have a world that won't acknowledge the damage that is clearly stated in scripture they are denying help to those that really need it. You can't ignore narcissist attitudes, and then state 'I said I was sorry' is remorse! Listen to those that are hurting because they are only going to tell you the tip of the iceberg! If you show them you are safe you will get the information you are looking for! If you use scripture to show them they must stay in an environment they are telling you is damaging them - you won't be seeing them anymore and you passed up an opportunity to find true repentance and healing to a family.
The author had a video attached to their message, and it was a song called, "You have to choose!"
So what are you going to choose? YES God hates divorce, but he also hates how churches are dealing with domestic violence! He hates the excuses you are handing down to deal with it as well! Do you really think submission is going to end the healing? If so get some education, but God sees how they treat their wifes of their youth. You need to also!
Thanks For Making This Possible! Kindly Bookmark and Share it: