I had an email sent to me by a poster that was having problems with her blogger/google account, and asked me to mention an article she had written.
Pastors, for the most part, have no concept of domestic violence issues. I posted a report I wrote on a pastor's training seminar led by Carol J. Adams: A PASTOR’S ROLE IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, filed in the DOMESTIC VIOLENCE category on my blogsite, Carolyn Hollands Weblog . It is a good article to present to pastors who are faced with this issue. We need more pastors who are trained in dealing with domestic violence, since victims are usually told to speak with their pastors. Thank you for posting this comment.
Carolyn C. Holland
I had read her article the same night she had sent me a note! Its worth going there, and reading it!
One thing struck me after I read the article a second time, and I may be reading TO MUCH into it...but here goes!
There are three steps in pastoral dealings with domestic violence. First, the pastor must process information received from the couple. “Talk with each partner individually. Focus on behavior, not on personality characteristics,” said Adams.
I realize you have to speak to them individually, but at first you need to have the spouse's permission at first due to safety issues. I guess the timing of the first step is also important! It could add danger to things if not properly handled. That would be my added note to this.
Battered women need to plan for safety and to have the backing of a community that holds her abuser accountable, because she cannot.
Agreed! Most people don't get that!
“Battering is the batterers responsibility,” Adams emphasized. “Domestic violence is about control. It is a pattern of behavior involving violence, control and subtle forms of abuse. It is not conflict run amok, but an issue of power and control. Even the ‘nice’ phase is a tactic to get women to comply.”
Adams acknowledges we live in a society that accepts, on a deep subconscious level, that women are the property of men. For the controlling party, the victim will always do something wrong, and it isn’t the “something wrong” that matters. Only the control does. What matters to the batterer is the level of control he has over his chosen victim.
I thought that was very powerful!
Please check it out, and make sure you look to the bottom and read Carolyn's other posts about Domestic Violence and Child Abuse. Very Gifted lady!
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