I was reading on the web one night and found an response to an abused women from Focus on the Family. Basically the article told her that she should sit down and have firm 'talking to' with her husband about the fact if he hurts her again she will be forced to separate. As I had mentioned in the past, and I'm sure you might have heard before I don't like Dobson's response to this issue at all. Jocelyn Andersen the author of Woman Submit! also pointed out how his advice could get people killed, and also in his book "Tough Love" he spends way to much time on how women might be provoking the man.
Begin Quote: My colleague, Dr. James Dobson, addresses the issue of domestic abuse in his book Love Must Be Tough. He believes the best approach is to force a crisis that confronts the problem head-on. Only then can it be treated and resolved. When you and your husband are both in a good mood, let him know that you have something important to discuss. Tell him that you love him very much, but that you are not going to allow him to abuse you any more. Tell him that you want him to get counseling for his anger problem immediately, and that unless he agrees, you are going to need to separate from him for a while. Given his past behavior, it's likely that he will beg for your forgiveness and promise that he will never harm you again. As much as you may be tempted to believe him, don't. Set a deadline for him to start counseling and stick to your guns. You also need to have a safety plan in place in the event that your husband responds negatively to this news. End Quote
Was the ministries advice. NOW with a truly dangerous person - one that has proven that to you in the past - do you seriously think this would be a safe response? I know we wouldn't, and this shows the ignorance people face within the church when it comes to this issue. This is the attitude - among other things - that Jocelyn Andersen, myself and others are trying to relate to ministries. If you don't understand the dynamics of relationships of this sort then STOP handing out advice! This advice was dangerous, and clearly shows ignorance of subject. To me is downright irresponsible, and this is coming from a major ministry! I mean WOW think of the impact!
Jocelyn Andersen got a response from Focus on the Family ministries!
Response from Dr. Bill from Focus on the Family was an article she wrote about it. If you go back to the link in question they did change their response, but I don't like the fact they STILL recommend his book (Tough Love). To me it kind of makes the point mute, since the book basically says the same thing. Progress? Possible I guess. When are they going to change that section in his book to show his new found 'wisdom' especially when they are still recommending it.
Here is their revision link.
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