Grace to be shown towards others....

My thoughts go back to my namesake that my parents had so much respect for.  I was born on her birthday, and was given her name.  My Aunt Hannah was not a blood relative, but a childhood presence for my mother.  She was friend of my grandmother, and I remember fond memories of her myself.  Aunt Hannah it seemed was a person that knew how to show people just the right amount of grace towards others.

My mother grew up in a household with domestic violence.  Her parents were active in the Southern Baptist church, and were also very community minded people.  I remember as an adult after my grandfather passed away, and we had to get their home ready to be sold  - cleaning out that house was a HUGE job!  My grandfather had Alzheimer’s towards the end, and the state that they lived in at the time was very individualistic.  Everyone knew he was a danger to himself and to society’s at large at that point, but no one would remove him.  I remember my mother pleading for help from the church to work with her to get the state to remove both of them at the time.  They refused until it finally got to the point of loss of life did the church finally stepped up, and coerced the state into removing him.  They were powerful in that area, and why didn’t step up earlier is a story for another day.

My Aunt Hannah I get the impression was what we may coin today as her ‘secular’ friend.  I don’t know if she had a church of her own, but you don’t find her in the pictures of the activities at church that my mother grew up in.  You don’t see her listed as the names of the community outreach they participated in.  WELL, at least none that I have ever seen when looking over the family history.  She was a single lady, and a source of a huge amount of grace towards others.

HCPNRY2CFYYZ

Is my husband giving me the silent treatment?

I was on a faith board recently, and I read a note from wife.  It was short and sweet with not much information to go on.  She was wondering if what she was experiencing was the silent treatment from her spouse.  Here is a summary of what was said, but not word for word:

Communication is impossible for my Husband to have with me. It's been 12 years, and he has yet to have a conversation with me that is on any kind of adult level. He will not talk most of the time, even to our children. We went to therapy, and he literally could not give an answer to any question. The silence was deafening. Finally, after many visits I was told to lower my expectations, and I would not be disappointed anymore. I don't know how much more hurt I can handle. This is not healthy for my children and me. Does God want me to continue on letting him treat us this way?

When I think of the silent treatment it comes to a form of emotional abuse its normally a tool they use to hurt someone.  The silent treatment is a childish way of abusing a person, and in most cases I would tell you to just do life as if they were not in the room. (yes I have done that)  I realize that is easier said than done, and in some cases that does ignore the fear factor.  In other words, you are waiting for the bomb to drop.  You tend to walk on eggshells during this period, and its one of the most hurtful and scary things.  You just know when they finally DO SPEAK all hell will break loose.

There is one thing that I have noticed with human nature within the Christian realm especially, and that is to assume that the woman is just expecting to much.  There were statements like, "Are you sure he literally isn't saying word?"  Opinions of how he could be he is just a quiet person, and you just don't want to look for those non verbal clues. 

Interesting Domestic Violence Links for the Week

I put together a couple of interesting links about domestic violence within the church, biblical roles of women, found a amazing public service announcement for violence within the home, and also an author's message on steps to healing.  I hope you enjoy the lists of link.