Monday, December 15, 2008

Patriarchy Leaves the Broken Behind

Posted by Hannah at 2:51 PM

The bible speaks alot about the oppressed and broken people of this world. God's word tells us to help the oppressed, neglected and abused.

I was reading today about some ladies mentioning Michael and Debi Pearl, and I'm sure they have some awesome things to say on certain subjects but on abuse within the home they are clearly naive. On the brew*crew the poster wrote about how this legalistic way of thinking can do more harm than GOOD! Domestic Violence within a Christian marriage is possible, and it does happen ALOT with a good article noted by The Dorcas network! There are days in which I have energy to take on those that mention its a rare thing, because if you look at the numbers it happens just as much as it does in the within the protective bubble within the church.

At times I get this impression that people are using the shelter of the church so they don't have to deal with life's uglies. I don't think that is what God had in mind when he spoke of separate. I realize some are stronger in some areas than others, but to avoid all contact isn't healthy either!

The uglies of the real world can't get in if I only have friends from church.

The uglies of the real world can't affect my children that are home schooled or only go to Christian schools.

The uglies of the real world can't come into our minds if we only see God Gloried movies, read book from Christian authors.

If separate ourselves so much from the real world as a protective measure for one we can't REACH the others, and two we don't truly realize the reality of the world. The reaction of people that DO come in with all the world's uglies like domestic violence can't be that picture perfect image that the bubble needs to have to be safe. Emotional abuse, Verbal Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Physical abuse all go on within the doors of the church. The victims when they start to question or get strong enough to face facts are pushed away, and told to HUSH basically.

Adventures in Mercy wrote an very powerful article I felt. When God Leaves The Broken Behind: Biblical Patriarchy’s Biggest Problem

If there is one thing different about this God of ours, it is that He goes after the ones that all the other groups forget, or purposely exclude, or even outrightly despise. He’s the God who leaves the 99 to go get the 1, who will search the house for the lost coin, who will hear the prayers of a sinner because of the sinner’s humility, yet closes off His ears to the one who basks in his own righteousness. He is the God of whom women sing, “He opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Yet, in the name of this very God, we are handed books or “doctrines” or systems of thought that promote exaltation of the strong. What happens to the weak when they cry out for help? The advice to them goes something like,

“Try harder. Do more. You didn’t do it the right way. Try harder. The problem is you, not the system, never the system. If it fails you, that’s only because you failed it. Try harder. Do more.”


And if you dare to ask where Jesus went in all of it, you will be scolded and reminded of your failure. Because if you would have just tried harder, Jesus would have blessed you. The verse in Titus is rewritten, and the new song is, “Sanctification by works, not of grace, lest any man should think the power came from God.” Work harder. Do more. And for God’s sake, don’t question the authority of the system. You’ll never get your picture in the magazine that way.


abused closeup bruised brokenYES if you try harder, and be a better servant things will turn around for you! If you wouldn't do things that make him so mad you can avoid the bruises. If you would do things to GIVE and not GET maybe he wouldn't be so frustrated! He is the HEAD, and he is the authority in your home - blessed are those that respect that role!

I have said this before and I will say it again - I have to wonder if a huge scandal like the sexual scandal of the Catholic church when it comes to women dying due to what the church demands of the women doesn't finally wake UP the church!

Those within the protective bubble try hard to get that area neat and clean. Their husbands may be good men, and realize the responsibility of their role. They are NOT Mr. Demand man, and are quite loving to their children. Its when you have women within that bubble that ask questions, and mention things that aren't right within the home that get blasted! They are rebellious, and they gossip about their husbands! They don't understand submit, and they can't respect the HEADSHIP within the home! As was noted within that article followers are quick to announce their stand against abortion, but when it comes to abuse within their own fold? They fall flat, and have no mercy for those that are oppressed!

Thus says the Lord, ‘Do justice and righteousness, and deliver the one who has been robbed, deliver him from the power of his oppressor” - Jeremiah 22: 3a


Patriarchy, in some homes, concentrates all power into the hands of an oppressor. What happens to the wife when she speaks out, if she ever does? She is told to hush. She is told that respectful women won’t talk about it. She goes to her bookshelf of marriage books for help, for counsel, for guidance. There, she reads books that counsel her to be more submissive, that her husband’s behavior will change if she can just reach the right level of submission. She reads books that tell her to speak in a child-like tone and to act like a young girl, to help her husband feel important. She reads books that tell her that good wives will never never NEVER speak about their husband’s in a negative way, no matter what. “Biblical” patriarchy isn’t delivering this woman from her oppressor. It is handing her to him on a platter, and telling her to smile cheerfully while they’re at it, or God will not be pleased.


It amazes me at times the hoops that those ask others to jump though so that the men can feel their role in a proper fashion. Those behaviors are NOT to be talked about, because they belong OUTSIDE the bubble! Is it any wonder WHY these women go secular? They may bite and pray that the Lord will deliver them out of oppression, but they also know it will not be with the hands of the church to help in that area. Their job is to make sure she is saintly enough to be inside their bubble of protection, and if she steps out of that to much sadly alot of people are shunned.

I'm sure part of it may be fear of being attacked, or threaten by the abuser as well. You read about missionaries all the time that place their lifes in harms way in order to honor God, but most of us won't even go near that place. We have our own families to worry about. We have a hard enough time keeping them inside the bubble safe and warm.

I have seen so many state this isn't the way patriarchy is suppose to operate. It doesn't mean POWER and CONTROL! Yet if you look at how it is dealt with when trouble is brewing...WELL...and the saying goes, "Actions speak louder than Words!" We are all human, and none of us should be placed in a the position of unquestioned authority on this earth. God is the only one that can hold that role.

bruised Patriarchy leaves the broken behind when they refuse to confront sin. Patriarchy leaves the broken behind when they ignore the bruises on the outside and those within. When you get to legalistic about this they add to those bruises, and to me it seems like punishment for dirty mess you brought into the bubble.

This is what patriarchy gives to men like that. Complete and total power. What does it give to their wives? Hell. A hell that is “God’s Way,” a hell that is, “Biblical,” a hell that they are required to smile about, to accept with joy. If women in homes like these wonder whether patriarchy really is God’s way, they are told that they are walking in rebellion, have left the Scriptures, are being deceived by Satan or even have left the faith.

Is a system God’s way, when it creates more oppression than was there before? Is a system God’s way, when it leaves the weak and the broken in a state of being worse off than before? Is a system God’s way, when it takes the healthy and pulls them down, limb by limb—when it offers condemnation instead of healing, derision towards the wounded, even as it inflicts the wounds, instead of compassion and mercy?

What answer does the patriarchy camp have for these thoughts of mine? I don’t know. I am one of the weak and the broken. They have no ears for people like me.

Is this not the fact which I choose, to loosen the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, and to let the oppressed go free, and break every yoke? - Isaiah 58


Patriarchy allows the Holy Hush to happen, and Patriarchy leaves the broken behind.


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2 comments:

God Fearing Mom on 8:24 PM said...

Oh wow! I'm so glad you wrote about this! You are right!

Hannah on 12:33 PM said...

Thank you God Fearing Mom!

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