Thursday, July 16, 2009

Saddleback's Tom Holladay Back pedal about domestic violence

Posted by Hannah at 10:38 AM

Saddleback removes audio clip saying abuse no excuse for divorce , but it took them HOW LONG to come up with an excuse as to WHY?

I guess Saddleback didn't have their damage control together fast enough when they decided they made silly and dangerous remarks about domestic violence. They decided months later to let the world know about their error at abpnews.com, but NOT leave any explanation or explain themselves at the time. Sorry, but that doesn't make any sense.

"I wish there were a third [reason for divorce] in Scripture, having been involved as a pastor with situations of abuse," Holladay said. "There is something in me that wishes there were a Bible verse that says, 'If they abuse you in this-and-such kind of way, then you have a right to leave them.'"


He let the Baptist news outlet know his statement had to do with other forms of domestic violence, and you seem to have the right to leave ONLY if physical abuse is present now. It took how many months to come up with this? It seems to me if that was the case he would have corrected that error on the website with explanation. Where is the excuse about making sure you are 'beat regular', and how that was a prefectly acceptable comment as well? How will he explain that one away? lol wrong section for that as well?

Come on Mr. Holladay you can do better than that! It takes you months to come up with what you have so far, and ONLY after it set the world on fire on how insane the comments were?

What the clip didn't make clear, Holladay said recently, is the question he was answering had to do with abusive language and not physical abuse. The way it was edited, Holladay said, gave the impression that a chronically violent and abusive situation is the only just cause for separation.

"We believe that one violent incident is obviously more than enough to demand the need for a separation," Holladay said in a statement to church members. "This has always been the advice that we give."

Holladay said "in an attempt to explain the difference between an angry exchange between spouses and domestic violence, I used words that seemed -- especially when taken out of context -- that I believe a long term multiply violent situation is the only cause for a separation."

"That is not what I and we believe or advise," he said. "Instead, we advise that in a domestic violence situation the first step is to get immediately to safety. I apologize for a poor choice of words that made it seem in any way that we do not advise this."

Holladay said Saddleback believes that God can restore a marriage in which abuse has occurred, but if an abusive spouse refuses to repent and try to change, there eventually comes a point at which he or she has abandoned the marriage and it cannot be saved.


So now he is speaking about 'abusive languange' only. Then downplays that to an 'angry exchange'. What is that? A little spat now?

"I wish there were a third [reason for divorce] in Scripture, having been involved as a pastor with situations of abuse," Holladay said.

Its not abuse remember? Its abusive languange and an 'angry exchange'.

"There is something in me that wishes there were a Bible verse that says, 'If they abuse you in this-and-such kind of way, then you have a right to leave them.'"

RIGHT! So threats, ridicule, mocking, and breaking one's spirit you WISH the bible addressed, and so Saddleback could advise you had the right to some sense of safety. NOW the home that is to be a sense of peace can't be because there isn't any scripture mentioning things that would go against that. They can't do anything about that. Remember its just an 'angry exchange'. RIGHTTTTT!

How about Mr. Holladay release the entire session - uncut - since it was edited uncorrectly to show this fab new advice? Could it be that wouldn't be so fab at that point either? We just remove it, and wait MONTHS to comment as to WHY we removed it...and only address one PORTION of what people felt was wrong with your statements?

What about the statements about being beat on a regular basis? Was that an audio error as well?

And when I say physical abuse, I mean literally when someone is beating you regularly. I don’t mean they grabbed you once. I mean they’ve made a habit of beating you regularly. You need to separate from that situation. That’s the only thing that’s going to solve that. It’s the only possibility of solving it.


NO if he beat you ONCE you DON'T need to separate!


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4 comments:

Barbara on 1:44 AM said...

Hannah, you've made some good points.
Have you let Bob Allen at Associated Baptist Press know about this post?

Hannah on 12:55 PM said...

No I haven't.

I think Saddleback may be hoping this puts it to rest I'm sure.

Caroline on 1:01 PM said...

Me thinks Saddleback may be abusing his own wife!

Apparently, he missed these Scripture passages:

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. (Col. 3:19)

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Eph. 5:21)

In KEEPING THE FAITH, Marie Fortune says:

"Any man who brings violence and abuse into his family life is putting asunder the marriage covenant that God has blessed. The violence is what breaks up the marriage."

Hannah on 4:10 PM said...

Denial and ignorance are powerful tools that Satan encourges I sincerely believe.

Personally, I think there is alot of laziness, wanting to be politically correct, afraid of confrontation (unless with a huge group), and a sense of humbleness that has been lost.

We empathize with you (because they know its wrong), but stick with it! They don't wish to acknowledge the confusion with a stand. Confusion is a nice word in this circumstance. Its easier to tell people 'they can't escape the pain' than deal with the pain head on. Their popularity may take a hit.

I strongly feel they truly don't believe God will help them, and their faith doesn't seem as strong as they claim it is. At least to me.

It takes strength to conquer.
It takes courage to surrender.

It takes strength to be certain.
It takes courage to have doubt.

It takes strength to endure abuse.
It takes courage to stop it.

It takes strength to stand alone.
It takes courage to lean on another.

I will admit I'm still working on it! When will they?

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