Thursday, March 12, 2009

Damage of Emotional Abuse and Verbal Abuse

Posted by Hannah at 3:27 AM

Super Nanny is going to try to show Phil Davis the damage he is doing to his family by using his youngest children. How the emotional abuse and the verbal abuse is truly damaging. Reminds me of this story:


NAILS IN THE FENCE


There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him
a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must
hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had
driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned
to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually
dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to
drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He
told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out
one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father
that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led
him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the
holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say
things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put
a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you
say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."

A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

~ author unknown ~

(This is a series of articles I wrote to show a Series of Emotional and Verbal Abuse your hear, feel, and see.  Click to see the different topics we have covered)

Now watch how Super Nanny is attempting to show Phil Davis the same lesson the father did, but in a different way.



You can see that this man does love his family, but he isn't capable of showing that love in the proper way. He needs help to show him how NOT to place more nails in fence...more darts in their soul. The rest of the family needs different types of help as well. We need to stop denying the damage that words can cause.

James 3:1-18 CEV My friends, we should not all try to become teachers. In fact, teachers will be judged more strictly than others. (2) All of us do many wrong things. But if you can control your tongue, you are mature and able to control your whole body. (3) By putting a bit into the mouth of a horse, we can turn the horse in different directions. (4) It takes strong winds to move a large sailing ship, but the captain uses only a small rudder to make it go in any direction. (5) Our tongues are small too, and yet they brag about big things. It takes only a spark to start a forest fire! (6) The tongue is like a spark. It is an evil power that dirties the rest of the body and sets a person's entire life on fire with flames that come from hell itself. (7) All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and sea creatures can be tamed and have been tamed. (8) But our tongues get out of control. They are restless and evil, and always spreading deadly poison. (9) My dear friends, with our tongues we speak both praises and curses. We praise our Lord and Father, and we curse people who were created to be like God, and this isn't right. (10) (SEE 3:9) (11) Can clean water and dirty water both flow from the same spring? (12) Can a fig tree produce olives or a grapevine produce figs? Does fresh water come from a well full of salt water? (13) Are any of you wise or sensible? Then show it by living right and by being humble and wise in everything you do. (14) But if your heart is full of bitter jealousy and selfishness, don't brag or lie to cover up the truth. (15) That kind of wisdom doesn't come from above. It is earthly and selfish and comes from the devil himself. (16) Whenever people are jealous or selfish, they cause trouble and do all sorts of cruel things. (17) But the wisdom that comes from above leads us to be pure, friendly, gentle, sensible, kind, helpful, genuine, and sincere. (18) When peacemakers plant seeds of peace, they will harvest justice.

The damage of emotional and verbal abuse is real.


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2 comments:

www.wanetadawn. com on 10:53 PM said...

What is amazing to me is that even after object lessons like this, the dad was still barely getting it. There was more of a hint of embarassment than genuine grief at the damage he was inflicting. Even all the way to the last scene where Super Nanny leaves, his expression still has that "I am the important person around here" look. He nods at all the right places, says some of the right stuff, but the conviction is missing from his face. Perhaps he is one of those narcisists, (however you spell it) or sociopaths as Barb suggests in another post. I get the sense he doesn't feel anyone's pain but his own. When he fell backward into the foam, he did get a tiny glimmer of heart-head connection, but it was a 5 watt bulb. I realize being filmed may have something to do with it, and these scenes may have been re-enacted. With all of Super Nanny's skills, I can see why we are having such a hard time persuading people of the seriousness of non-physically abusive behavior. But this man was going into physically abusive behavior, and he still didn't "get it."

Hannah on 10:09 AM said...

Its the first step in his journey. To me he is a true man if he steps up to the plate, and continues his counseling. It takes greater courage to admit things than deny them. Sadly, soceity tends to enable the denial. LOL and they wonder WHY we are so violent! Ugh.

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