Below is a transcript from Alicia Gray that came from a video that you can find on Youtube. This is part one only.
Alicia Gray Video Part One
Pastor Mark Wyatt Introduction:
Hey everybody as you know umm about 11 months ago last February we got word at Deeper Life that one of our church members Alicia Gray had been arrested and charged with umm a sexual relationship with one of her students.
She is a high school teacher here in Mobile. And we decided then and there that the degree of her guilt and innocence would not be a deciding factor on how we loved her and how much we loved her. So we decided the rally around them. And we knew that was the right thing to do, and so over the last 11 months its been an amazing thing to watch as Alicia has had her identity redefined in the context of the fact she is the daughter of God. That she is fully loved no matter what she does.
In talking with Alicia's Lawyer - Chris and Alicia decided a few months ago to a plea deal. So they agree to plead out umm for time for her. And so this morning umm a sentence was handed down. And a number of us were able to be there at the court room for her to be there for sentencing.
And in that moment Alicia got to make a statement to the judge before he sentenced her that honestly I have to tell you that was one of the most powerful things I have ever heard in my life.
Alicia's statement preached the gospel, It showed the power of grace and how grace has saved her. And the love of the father has saved her life.
In that statement she apologized to the young man involved in that relationship, and his family. And she talked about what she wants to see the Lord do there. So after the sentencing umm I was able to sit down with Alicia and get an interview with her on video. We had talked about this beforehand. She wanted to do this. and We want you to hear Alicia's heart. We want you to hear what God has done in her life in the last 11 months.
Here is Alicia Gray.
(1:52 minute Mark in Video)
What is the difference between regret and shame?(Question presented at the beginning of video)
Hmm. I actually just explained that to some of my in-laws on the way here.
Umm This is something...
So of course I'm very sorry for my selfish actions, and the choices that I made out of insecurity and hurts that I felt myself. Umm And I'm sorry for those, and I'm thankful that God has changed me and shown me my identity in Jesus Christ where I don't make those same selfish decisions and hurt other people.
umm So because of that joy he has given me, and the changed identity I no longer have to feel shame about the person I once was. And I will never be again, and because I know who I am in Jesus.
Its one of those things of peace and rest, which are words we thrown around alot but...God really gives us overwhelming peace when you know who you are, and you don't have to do something to make God happy at you.
You don't have to perform for other people, and ahh because I have had alot of advice throughout this: that they need to see me cry more, and people need to see me fall apart. And my body sometimes makes me think, 'Shouldn't I be a mess right now? Shouldn't I have to do this? But God just lets that peace fall, and gives me that security of knowing that I'm just not that person anymore!
And I don't have to live the way I used to live, because it was different, but I had DID. I had insecurities. I umm I had pain in my own heart, and a void I thought I needed to fill.
Though attention and all kinds of other things. And that void was just needing Jesus. And having absolutely no lack, and that he completely fills everything and makes me secure in whom I am. Happy in whom I am. and makes it where he is the only person I want to please . The great thing is I don't have to do anything to please him. Because when God sees me he just sees Jesus... and Jesus absolute finished work on the cross, and he is very happy of me.
The statement I made in court today, and I would like to everyone to didn't hear in fullness:
I just want to say this in regards to the victim, and the family...and anyone that has been hurt though this: I wanted to apologize for my inappropriate, and selfish and very hurtful actions.
Selfish really is the word. I acted out on my own though my own insecurities without thoughtful concern for anyone else's well being.
I realize I have hurt many people, and I've also realized the implications of what I've done.
And the possible difficulties that can cause for people who have been hurt: Bitterness, angry, fear, anxiety, depression and insecurity...and so on, and all those things we think those things that led up to my behaviors. And I don't wish that on anyone else.
Umm Complete healing is needed for you to be able to walk in and umm in complete grace that God gives.
And I apologize for what I have done, and that person from a year ago is gone, and has changed forever thanks to the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ. And God our father and the renewed mind that he has given me.
Everyone that has been hurt is constantly in my prayers, and I pray that my unwarranted actions and the hurt it has caused don't have a hold on anyone's life's. I pray for peace, healing and restoration.
And my ultimate prayer is you kingdom come, and your will be done God.
Take this situation and that should have never ever happened, and provide healing and rest in the ones that have been hurt.
Um Jesus has brought me to a place of peace in which I'm ready for the consequences that should befall me.
He showed me the continued difficulty that people would experience should this case go to trial. so, I have no desire to drag anyone through that. Or require people that have been hurt to have to testify publicly, or hear the testimonies.
Thankfully God presented another option which I can confess my actions alone without requiring others to have anyone have to endure that. I confess my sin, and I ask forgiveness whom each person involved. Anyone that has been hurt or touched by this. Whether small or big is all the same. Hurt is hurt.
I don't expect that the forgiveness might happen. I understand the implications of pain and bitterness that I have caused. Your completely justified to feel that way, but I do pray that each of you be free of the pain and bitterness, anger, anxiety or whatever you feel. Those are not things that are from God. God does not want that for you. He didn't want the situation to happen, but Thank God he uses the hurts of others. He redeemed me. And he placed it in my heart to just glorify him. And I pray that he uses this situation to heal all those involved.
God is the business of loving people and restoring lives. Nothing compares to his great love.
There are several people that have been victim to this situation. All those that have been hurt. It should have never happened to you, but God still makes beauty from ashes. He can restore your life’s that are broken, and because I chose to act out of selfishness and hurt... people. I continue to pray that the healer of all healers can give you freedom from the pain you have experienced. I will ask my friends, family, and church congregation to keep you in prayer for complete healing, peace and restoration. Grace and peace be with you.
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