“The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”-1st Corinthians 7:4-5
The blog world seems on fire over a recent article by the Gospel Coalition. The article was called, ‘The Polluted Waters of 50 Shades of Grey, Etc.’, and to be fair a follow up piece called, ‘Shades of Outrage”.
(Note: I edited the above links due to them removing from website. I have placed a cached image of the articles in question in my google docs so you may still view them. Jared Wilson also offered up an apology.)
I’m sure you might have guessed that the author Jared Wilson was talking about a secular book that seems popular today. To be fair? I haven’t read it, and honestly don’t know much about it except for what is talked about briefly in the news.
To me, there seems to be enough on our plates as Christians. I don’t understand why we seem to have to remind the body of Christ of ‘what the world thinks’ of things. It’s the world right? We aren’t told to conquer or scold the world, and I have to wonder if some do forget what the mission as Christians is.
Today in different circles of faith I realize that some like to use these types of items as tools. Its tools to use against the other circles of faith that seem to have doctrinal – along with other differences from themselves. I find it kind of childish at times, and I honestly don’t know why people ‘buy into it’ to the extreme that they do. (In this circumstance – they use the marriage bed like this, and we view it like that type of thing)
Name calling, and swapping personal jabs tends to repel people from coming to the faith more than anything. Why wouldn’t it? You see in on the news, in the work place, and in the current politic environment all the time. When people act like this? They can claim all the wish they are different from the ‘world’, but their speech and actions certainly don’t back them up with anything substantial.
What the uproar seems to be about is a quote from Christian ‘shock jock’ Douglas Wilson. From I can gather? He is the fringe of the fringe of what most would say is the patriarchy or complementarian circles. So why do pastor’s like John Piper, or organizations like The Gospel Coalition quote him? That does make you wonder doesn’t it?!
As you might have guessed the original article was about how the ‘general public’ is going nuts over this new book, and how they just don’t grasp what God’s intent is for the marriage bed.
Here is the quote most are talking about:
When we quarrel with the way the world is, we find that the world has ways of getting back at us. In other words, however we try, the sexual act cannot be made into an egalitarian pleasuring party. A man penetrates, conquers, colonizes, plants. A woman receives, surrenders, accepts. This is of course offensive to all egalitarians, and so our culture has rebelled against the concept of authority and submission in marriage. This means that we have sought to suppress the concepts of authority and submission as they relate to the marriage bed. – Shock Jock Doug WilsonMy first thought? Here is a gentleman (Jared Wilson) that is calling out a book that he states is like acceptable po#n of the day. How the world thinks it is acceptable to live out rape fantasies and such. So what does he do?
He quotes the Christian Shock Jock Doug Wilson from his book, ‘Fidelity: What It Means to be a One-Woman Man’. (If you are interested it’s the chapter on rape on the link) If you notice the above bolded part Doug Wilson uses what most recognize as ‘rape language’ to show how he feels is the proper context for the marriage bed.
Read below to finish the original author’s quote from Doug Wilson:
But we cannot make gravity disappear just because we dislike it, and in the same way we find that our banished authority and submission comes back to us in pathological forms. This is what lies behind sexual “bondage and submission games,” along with very common rape fantasies. Men dream of being rapists, and women find themselves wistfully reading novels in which someone ravishes the “soon to be made willing” heroine. Those who deny they have any need for water at all will soon find themselves lusting after polluted water, but water nonetheless.When you use ‘rape language’ to describe the Christian marriage bed? You have to accept some outrage. That is how Doug Wilson seems to work, and enjoys the reaction he gets. What I don’t think Jared Wilson counted on was that reality.
True authority and true submission are therefore an erotic necessity. When authority is honored according to the word of God it serves and protects — and gives enormous pleasure. When it is denied, the result is not “no authority,” but an authority which devours.
Does he know enough about ‘rape’ to realize these terms are used within the context of people that are raped? I will give him benefit of the doubt, and say I doubt it. If he could stop long enough from being ‘defensive’, and look at bit closer? I have no doubt he would be able to connect the dots. If he has any doubts? He needs to call a rape hotline, and they will confirm it for him.
Sadly, instead of trying to figure out WHY people are so upset? He makes statements on how people can’t comprehend things, or how they refuse see what is clearly there.
Unable to connect these descriptions to “serve and protect” or the surrounding context against force/manipulation/kink, many decontextualized them and maintained it doesn’t matter what was meant, only what was said, and therefore what was thought to be said was assumed to be meant. – Jared WilsonHOW is that for logic?
What he seems to not be able to connect is Mr. Shock Jock Wilson used the language he used for the reaction it gets. It is ‘rape language’, and if Jared Wilson could step back enough to ‘listen’ he should be able to see he has been ‘unable to connect FROM these descriptions’. I have to admit from his comments back to people that were offended he (Jared WIlson) sounds very young, and inexperienced. He responded to people like a teenager would. (No, I don’t know his age)
Anyone that has teenagers – or has watched them when they get flustered will relate to the following when they are called on nonsense.
‘YOU just don’t GET IT!’
Afterwards they huff and puff and stormed off feeling all ‘victimized’. One of my teenagers tried that after seeing others doing it I suppose, but won’t do it again any time soon! Nope! They didn’t like the ‘in home’ consequences.
What an experienced person would do is attempt to understand why there is the outrage, and maybe even ‘clarify’ things in a mature manner. Responding like:
For the record, and the last thing I’ll say on the topic,#2 is how a teenager would respond. No offense, but its true!
1) I don’t know Wilson’s views of Southern slavery.
2) Since the commenters here cannot grasp the meaning of this excerpt, I am not prone to think their grasp of his views on slavery are very accurate anyway.
3) I personally believe slavery of the sort found in the historical American south to be sinful.
The quotes about Slavery? Mr. Shock Jock Wilson wrote books about Slavery in the South. No doubt the man has the Confederate Flag flying in his office. So you can imagine what his ‘revised’ book Black and Tan is about (link is pdf of book), and why people are outraged over that as well. I say ‘revised’ because he got into some hot water over plagiarism with his original book he called, Southern Slavery, As It Was. Black and Tan made addition citations to make sure ‘plagiarism’ issue was taken care of.
Wartsburg Watch has some direct links for more information, but here is a short little snippet:
They said that Wilson/Wilkins argued that “southern slavery was not only sanctioned by the Bible but, thanks to the patriarchal kindness of their wise evangelical masters, a positive, happy, and pleasant experience for the majority of southern blacks.”Yes, there are some Slave Narratives from the 1930’s that you can read about certain fond memories some Slaves had about that time. If we stop to think about the time – their experiences in life – and the fact they had no soft spot to land after the civil war? His theories are silly and downright hurtful. So your master gave you something nicer than the neighbor’s master gave their slaves…. did they not both have whipping posts on the property too?
Wilson believes that slaves really appreciated slavery.
They also believe that Wilson/Wilkins pushed the idea that “southern slaves genuinely appreciated those benefits and supported the system that provided them.”
Anyone can be nice at times. Anyone can find something of fact that could be profound at times. If the slaves had a soft spot to land after the civil war? If people were honest they would realize slaves would have leaped to go elsewhere. This is a similar circumstance to those within abusive environments. If they had a soft spot to land, and knew they would be safe? The act of abuse could be lessoned. No doubt they would leave. Some may not due to traumatic bonding, and other things – but to say they are happy to stay? That is just plain nonsense. The slaves after the civil war had no place to go, no support system, and the legal system even after they were ‘freed’ certainly didn’t back them up. PTSD and traumatic bonding for them would no doubt be at the top of the list of reasons they were afraid to go anyway.
If Jared Wilson and the Gospel Coalition want more “AMENS!” to their articles? They need to check out their sources they quote from, and if you still plan to use a shock jock? Be mature enough to handle the backlash. Acting all surprised, and shocked by the reaction? …seriously? (pause) SERIOUSLY?
The Gospel Coalition, Sex and Women’s Subordination
Sexual Conquering is Rape
Take It Down
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