None of us can have it all. Women as primary breadwinners does make raising children harder, increasing the likelihood of harm in the development of children. While it is a reality in this world and sometimes even necessary, that does not mean we should not ignore the consequences of the increase in moms, instead of dads, as primary breadwinners (often because the man walked out). – Erick Erickson
Erick Erickson and Lou Dobbs got themselves into some hot water with their complementarian views on working mothers this week. These men I guess you could categorize as ‘conservative’, but honestly their moronic views on this issue can be very universal as well. I have the videos in question linked at the bottom.
I read a number of news feeds, because I don’t think any network or organization gives you all the angles to really figure out what is going on. For myself? I read most of them so I can get a handle on what the TRUE story is!
Women are Culpable for the downfall of society
Erick’s article linked to CMBW at the end of it (see above next to picture), and YES he does chant their way of thinking quite well. Sadly, when you get too deep into this way of thinking Pastors – being the dominate of the dominate of the genders – get to dictate to others that you need to support them EVEN if there are serious questions about them habitually abusing children….and covering it UP! Remember they seem to feel they are NOT culpable in those cases, and as it seems today they are not culpable for the ‘downfall of society’ either. This time its not the children that need to own the blame, but the wife’s and mothers! How ‘Adam” of them!
“Four in Ten Households now have the mother as the primary bread winner”
You notice this still reads, 6 out of 10 households still have the MALE has the primary bread winner. Yet, the majority of the bread winners being male has no effect on society. Nope, the minority are responsible for this.
Most people realize there are too many dynamics at play today, but lets go into this simplistic viewpoint JUST for a moment! Yes, we will use the stereotypes, and simplistic reasoning. It has a purpose today.
I don’t think most people would disagree that having two healthy adults raising their children together is best for families. It’s easier for adults to have a partner to share the load, and having the influence of both parents with their children has benefits as well. Yes, these are generic reasons, but we all know there are others as well. We don’t need to go into all of them.
Men walk out because they can’t HAVE IT ALL! …or is it women?
I look at the above paragraph from Erick Erickson, and I concentrated on that last sentence.
‘often because the man walked out’
He states that if you have mother that works full time its hard to come home, and be a full time mother. He never mentions that this factor is hard for men as well! Is it easy for father’s to come home from working a full time job, and be a full time father? I would assume not.
It wouldn’t be hard to understand that YES it could also be HARD for the same reasons – for all humans. Parenting is never easy!
Does this dynamic change if only ONE parent works? Does the parent that works full time have an easier full plate when they come home to be full time parent? I mean they are still tired from working, etc. One deals with home stuff, and the other outside the home stuff.
What happened to:
None of us can have it all.
He seems to feel because ‘the left’ and some statement a feminist said over 50 years ago about ‘having it all’ is suppose to show you that only ladies that work – not men – don’t realize they can’t have it all. He learned his lesson WELL from Mary Kassian didn’t he?
What is telling is his statement about women – only – having a hard time being a mother while working. Remember men’s life’s changed also! When more women entered the work force men had to learn to contribute more to the home life portion. Yes, for the first time EVER in many families he had to learn to do laundry, cook, clean, and YES help care for the children more often.
Yes, like most aspects in life there are positive and negatives here. Personally, more father’s got to spend more time with their children – which I feel is positive. It isn’t as ‘hands off’ as it was in the past. Yes, family life is a full time job. The problem is I guess he may not be like being asked to get off the sofa, and help more now.
Did he – according to his stereotype…walk out because his version of ‘having it all’ isn’t happening?
Men as the Dominant Protector
So what ELSE is he saying? Due to ‘non nurturing’ nature of the men they walk out on their families – including the children – driven by this ‘unrealistic’ women’s assumption that men don’t hold but only women do! What happened to that ‘protector’ mode? I guess its in conflict with the non nurturing part…(shrugs)
Sorry but the way he describes things? Men walk out because they can’t ‘have it all’. The bread winner status, the being able to work full time, and to throw in a stereotype of my own? His being able to get his slippers and newspaper handed to him on his nice, comfortable chair to retire on for the night. lol notice her full time job still continued, but his didn’t? I guess it’s the ‘bread winner’ entitlement aspect we forgot about!
Men can get laid off, and some industries from the past are dying out. Families still have bills to pay, and costs are always going UP! It’s NOT easy when life happens, and you fall behind. Yes, at times her skills maybe in demand more so due to the employment climate. He could be over qualified for jobs that are being offered presently. She also may just want to work, and did so the whole time. There are MANY reasons why things are changing. We have gone from industrial, manufacturing dominate work force to a more technical one now. Companies leave the country or state for all kinds of reasons.
People are more worried about how they are going to pay the bills - not which spouse brings in the money to pay them. THIS is the reality!
In Erick Erickson the men’s viewpoint of ‘having it all’ took a hit, and its easier to blame the 50 year old feminist statement then to acknowledge that the world is changing. Things are happening beyond our control, and we MUST adapt to survive!
He also wants you to ignore the multitude of reasons why families break apart. Why parents walk away from their families. Why both parents – or one parent – works. Remember he is dealing with stereotypes – not reality!
Dominate Male of the Animal Kingdom
Erick Erickson also goes into this theory of nature. How in nature it is the male that is the dominant creature, and it only makes sense that humans being part of nature – acknowledges this as well. It’s SCIENCE after all!
Notice – if his theory is correct – how the Animal Kingdom seems to adapt to changes in the world, and how the human male…walks out and seems to blame everyone else because in his ‘entitled’ mind the world shouldn’t change. Why? Because the dominate male – being the protector – he says so. How’s that for realistic!
His generalities don’t line up anyway – despite my sarcasm. Dominance doesn’t always line up with protector in the animal kingdom. How often do we read about male animals being solidarity outside the ‘mating’ time, and females not wanting them around other times because they will KILL their offspring? Then we have the Queen Bees that rule the show – those damn feminist insects! (giggles)
You can’t claim the ‘protector’ role as mostly male when you have (by his words) MEN walking out on their families, and leaving them alone to fend for themselves. I mean how is that protective? I wouldn’t call that being ‘dominate’ either!
Hmm. Maybe it’s the solitary aspect of the male animal! Problem is – female animals still ‘support’ her young in the wild. Why isn’t that animal kingdom falling apart as well? You science isn’t adding UP!
What you do see is men that buy into this ‘protector, dominant’ role junk, and saying its so by God’s word…and then telling women this is how you need to be for us to ‘feel’ it, and so we can ‘do’ it as God intends. We must feel WE ARE giving you ‘it all’, and if I can’t do that? I’ll walk out on you and the children…society falls apart…and its all your fault!
Hmm. The telling part is what they DON’T tell you about the ‘dominate’ gender. RIGHT?!
Lou Dobbs Video that started this whole thing. Erick Erickson’s follow up article is linked on top.Megyn Kelly talk with Erick Erickson, Lou Dobbs on Women's Role
(this is the video in a news feed that caught my attention)
Studies in Controversy: Erick Erickson and Sexual Distinctiveness – CBMW
God has made men strong, in general, to provide. And he has not left us only with principles, but has supremely given us his Son, who laid down his life to make the provision of eternal life for his bride, the church. Internet controversies will wax and wane, but the image of the Son yielding his life for us will press successive generations of men into sacrificial service for those God has given them to lovingly lead.(yet they walk out???)
Beyond this, it will endure forever.
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