Sunday, October 17, 2010

Counsel of Doctrine instead of Mercy

Posted by Hannah at 4:08 PM

There are some days I can be so strong, and others times I feel like maybe I just bury myself and give up.

I pray that I never become to so closed minded that I can't see and feel the pain of others.  I hope others will point out when I'm being to non chalet about other people's issues.

Goodness knows when you are dealing with domestic violence within the church - or any faith to be honest it seems - you know and live that pain of being ignored and silenced.

So many men, woman and children have been scarred by this.  So many have left the faith, and others rode out on a rail when they couldn't numb their broken heart. 

I was catching up on my reading, and twittering some articles and such.  I came across some good articles, and those that just broke me up.

I just don't understand WHY people place such huge barriers up to NOT understand a family's pain.  I get so tired of fighting, and yet I feel this is something I have been truly called to do.

I have a real issue with crying, and since my father died I finally gave myself permission to start.  Strange huh?   WELL today it seems a day to just let loose!

I think so many people that live by doctrine must truly feel that is the best way, but they just can't handle the road blocks that doctrine doesn't address.  There is a man that is the 'no remarriage camp' that isn't nasty or unloving as so many others in that area.  He seems to get it to a point when domestic violence and the church tends to lock heads - he stops and thinks.  Then later mercy, grace tend to take a back seat after a while and doctrine prevails.

The key, however, to keep in mind is that he is still her husband. She is to love with a love that always hopes, perseveres and never ends. A love that doesn't record wrongdoings. She is to forgive with a forgiveness that is always open to reconciliation upon true repentance. For this is how she is loved and how she hopes to be forgiven. 

It is easy to create a god who desires happiness above holiness. True happiness, however, true blessedness, comes through holiness. Is the cross of remaining faithful to an unfaithful spouse too much to bear in the 21st century? Is this a cross we are no longer expected to carry? The awesome thing is that we need not carry it alone.
I felt slimed when he spoke of how he seems to think victims of abuse are looking for 'happiness' above holiness.  I hate to admit it, but some days I swear I would love to haul off and just HIT people when I hear that.  I would never do that of course, but BOY is that feeling within me.  I normally have to do a short prayer to calm me down, or take a walk and have these conversations with Jesus before I go on to address such ignorance!

WHO do these people think they are telling victims they are after 'happiness' with that shamed based tone?  Does doctrine indeed ask people to take all logic and common sense and THROW it out the window?  HAPPINESS?  Seriously? 

I wrote a long post to this gentlemen, and after I was done?  I just had to cry my eyes out.  Why is empathy, consideration, and any sort of true MORALITY seem to be missing in the teachings these people seem to be brain washed with?


Where is the human ethic in such teachings?  Do they NOT have any moral standings at all?

They tell people to hold on for dear life because SOME DAY God will turn abusers into prodigal sons!  The bible speaks of those that never turn to God, and yet doctrine people tell you that you must play a different game of  'hope' compared to the one you used when dealing with the abusive person.

They always have HOPE for that person, but never have HOPE for the victims.  They always do it wrong.  You ever notice that?

WHY is it people think victims are after 'happiness' when in truth its called SURVIVAL?   WHY is it people DOUBT their forgiveness when reconciliation didn't happen, or when the abuser HARMS again and it angers you?

GOD when are people going to grasp you are allowed to use COMMON SENSE, and you don't ask us to live in a FANTASY land of 'happily ever after'?  When will they realize how much they are hurting us instead of helping?  How do we show them the struggle they refuse to see, and yet is right in front of them?  When will they see that survivors of abuse are stronger than those that counsel such hurtful garbage?




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4 comments:

His Special Kids' Families on 7:11 PM said...

May the Lord catch all of your tears, Hannah. I think that our prayers need to run in the arena against Biblical legalism, and for walking in the Spirit. :)

Hannah on 7:33 PM said...

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Hannah, this is exactly what was going through my mind, around the time you posted it. Except I couldn't articulate it as well as you did. I too cried lots of tears and wondered why people couldn't see it. What keeps me going is rational thinking - knowing who God is, what He says and how He operates, and refusing to go by feelings, that somehow just because my ex is my husband, I need to keep the feelings alive and keep hoping for the miracle. Actually, in the world it would be called fantasy-living, but in the church it is called believing in miracles. Well, as far as I am concerned, he has had his miracle - the fact that the family "held together" for so many years; it shouldn't have.

Hannah on 1:26 PM said...

The 'feelings' is the hot button word that they try to apply to the concept it seems. Rational thought involves feelings - along with everything else. I don't know how they can claim the opposite. Yet 'feelings' is what they claim everyone is using instead of 'fill in the blank'.

To me it is used as a tool to shut off dialog, debate, and common sense. God speaks strongly against contempt, hate, etc.

He speaks about those that will reject his word, presence and existence. He says few will enter, and yet some just think that as a 'worldly' concept to bring up.

God has consequences for such decisions, and mankind rejects those and replaces them with how the family must hold strong to wait for them.

They use the concept of how you are not God, and so you can't use a time line, etc. If you do? All the condemnation is upon your shoulders for not being 'good enough'. I don't see the same type of manipulative spirit of counsel being focused towards the one that is harming everyone. That should not be.

We are to be moved by the Holy Spirit, and mankind tends to tell you they will 'interrupt' that movement for you. How you will do this wrong, and yet they make up the same biology we do. lol why are they better at this when on the baseline we are truly the same?

The Holy Spirit has driven those against the grain of society in the past, and I don't see that changing any time soon. If you look at history - mankind has always claimed they could 'interrupt' this push from the HS better than you can. Where is the scripture for that?

God has principals that go beyond just rules. Human's it seems can't grasp this, and thus doctrine was born.

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