tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post9209450793557160500..comments2024-02-08T21:51:21.368-06:00Comments on Emotional Abuse and Your Faith: Jesus is Savior site - Divorce an Abusive Spouse?Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-84687097210036720372011-12-06T16:07:53.231-06:002011-12-06T16:07:53.231-06:00I agree Marie. I don't think God is as worrie...I agree Marie. I don't think God is as worried about feminism as some men are. I don't think he is all that concerned about roles either when it comes to humans being injured by abuse. Sadly, the author has too much tunnel vision.Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-34283960221910707942011-12-05T21:19:20.284-06:002011-12-05T21:19:20.284-06:00I am so glad I found your article on the google se...I am so glad I found your article on the google search right under his article. For wives that have been codependent, abused, and scared for years, and have had their Christian faith twisted and used against them by their husbands, this article would be devastating. I know from experience.Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11027486848238962033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-9115792382569860842010-12-08T11:35:38.053-06:002010-12-08T11:35:38.053-06:00I would encourage you to do what you feel lead to ...I would encourage you to do what you feel lead to do Anonymous 17! I think the Holy Spirit leads you in the path that God is asking you to go. It seems everyone has a different one from my prospective, and we need to be loyal to the path we are asked to take.<br /><br />You are correct they have to make the decision to help themselves, and deal with the root of rage that is within them. It is very hard I agree.<br /><br />Abuse can occur to anyone from any walk of life. Its hardly a gender focused issue either. Big and Strong - weak or Frail - it doesn't matter. I will be praying for you!<br /><br />I do believe common sense is what it is needed, but at times people tend to question your faith when you speak about that. It's so strange to me. They would rather you pray and place faith in the fact God will magically fix your spouse/partner. No human intervention is needed. That isn't what the bible says for all circumstances, and I think its fear on their part when they use that type of advice.<br /><br />I pray that you find the answers, and the path that God wishes for you.Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-31927465176218362752010-12-08T10:44:03.726-06:002010-12-08T10:44:03.726-06:00I am a physically and mentally strong and moral an...I am a physically and mentally strong and moral and very educated man (yeh so what) who believes in God & Christ- THE MOST IMPORTANT. Common sense. Give the abuser many chances. If they fail and the tragic appears inevitable, at the least separate. As I have done. I can not help her. It is very hard. I have no absolute answers yet. Prayer & forgiveness & humility is the least I have & do. I seek more answers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-35799508773572590122010-12-04T11:40:09.355-06:002010-12-04T11:40:09.355-06:00Sadly, its people like this that don't truly l...Sadly, its people like this that don't truly look into the eyes of reality up close and personal. <br /><br />They seem to think that 'church' I suppose absolves them, because Christ transformed them into a new person. They tend NOT to look at other things the bible said to look out for. Wolf's in sheep's clothing for example. The bible states that the assembly is not immune to this. Sadly, they act as if they are - and are not the type of fall for such things. lol yet the bible doesn't seem to agree!<br /><br />Their goal is to keep marriages together, and not so much concentrating on transformation of self through Jesus. Its an ongoing process, and we are all to love, gently rebuke, and continue to grow. They are so busy repeating 'laws' as they see them, and what is wrong with the world - they tend to lose the big picture.<br /><br />Its strange to see people commenting on this article as if it has major points. They totally ignore the lack of humility, empathy, and compassion that is called for. WIFES are to obey their husbands, and aren't perfect? Do they seriously think that is what the bible is asking them to concentrate on?<br /><br />What's strange? The world knows enough about Jesus to realize the gist of this article wasn't a Jesus message to the world. Jesus would be more concerned about the 'heart' of the man, and compassion for his family. He would wish healing and transformation for this family. He would ask others to help with the tools. Come along side and help guide them along. Concern for the children, etc.<br /><br />Jesus is concerned for his flock. The author is concerned with someone taking something away from his "God Given" role, and the lack of respect and honor they are to give him. The world can see the narcissistic nature of that.. yet those that claim they are within the 'flock' chant AMEN!<br /><br />I pray that the Holy Spirit guide you Anonymous towards the path God intended for you. That he provide, protect, and have all go down that truly transforming path we all need to glorify his name. Prayers are also needed for those men like this author, and others that seem to think they need to chant out how the world isn't serving them properly. Its strange how they never grasped it wasn't about them to begin with. Its sad how far off the beaten path we have traveled. I hope our hearts are open enough to allow him to guide it back to where he wishes it to be.Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-59469922885676631732010-12-04T03:18:43.034-06:002010-12-04T03:18:43.034-06:00This man seems to forget that women , like any hum...This man seems to forget that women , like any human being, need to be loved. My husband has his good days(when he'll be in a good mood) and then in a blink of an eye(or after a nap)will not hesitate to say something demeaning(like telling me I look ridiculous because I happen to nod off while watching tv with my kids. Or referring to my clothing as rags. Or telling me how I don't "fix" myself enough when I go to church with my kids(he rarely evens goes). Or how I should let my hair grow long so I can look more feminine. He seems to forget that having had 5 kids in 10 years, doesn't leave you much time for yourself. I not in love with my husband anymore, but I care for him like I would care for any human being in this world. He never had a great relationship with any of the kids, and the kids now being 21,19,16,13,and 11, I don't think it's going to be easy for him to recover the lost time with them. They, except the 11 year old, have asked me several times to leave their father. He doesn't know and I'm never going to tell him, for their sake. The author of the article should take a heart felt look at how he views what a true man really is.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-28682854360004276322010-11-15T21:15:51.584-06:002010-11-15T21:15:51.584-06:00Thank you for your two cents! Hope you saw my lin...Thank you for your two cents! Hope you saw my links I left you! I made a new section in under LINKS at the top of the page in your honor!Hannah Thomashttp://www.eaandfaith.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-6035757479783067782010-11-15T19:38:06.861-06:002010-11-15T19:38:06.861-06:00The scriptures first read this way...Husbands love...The scriptures first read this way...Husbands love your wives (respect), then it says wives submit to your husbands. Pray tell how does a wife ever learn to submit unless a husband first loves(respects) his wife first. The responsibility is the husbands first...which is generally the responsibility God has given man. To lead his wife spiritually...you can't possibly expect her to respond spiritually as long as you have your fist raised over her head. How does that work...it doesn't. God doesn't hold his fist over our heads in order for us to respond spiritually to him...he could but then that wouldn't be true love now would it.<br />Just my two cents...a former abuser.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-42981327727015103792010-11-11T21:30:14.691-06:002010-11-11T21:30:14.691-06:00I don't think the author thought ahead enough ...I don't think the author thought ahead enough regarding the children. Your pastor's point is correct. Sigh - I doubt they think of the Stockholm Syndrome, PTSD, etc either.<br /><br />They love to use spiritual pixie dust instead. Pray, Submit, and miracles will happen type of thing. Confrontation, healing, etc never enters their mind sadly.Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-68085392958976691022010-11-11T19:46:40.936-06:002010-11-11T19:46:40.936-06:00Hannah, I feel like telling this author that I use...Hannah, I feel like telling this author that I used to believe everything he articulated. And it nearly killed me. My pastor opened my eyes when she said that it was one thing thinking that I could sacrifice my life for the abusive spouse, it was quite another sacrificing the lives of the kids - they didn't ask to be born and I need to be responsible for them. Marriage was never meant to be an unconditional promise that one could never get out of. It is precisely this sort of thinking that produces the Stockholm Syndrome in Christian women who are abused. After all, if there is no way out, then you might as well get bonded to the abuser - that way, there may be a chance of survival. But that is certainly not abundant life, and there is absolutely nothing the abused woman can do about it. The only thing she can change is herself, and remove herself from the marriage.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-55333684597817433142010-11-10T17:51:49.552-06:002010-11-10T17:51:49.552-06:00I do believe he is twisting most definitely. I do...I do believe he is twisting most definitely. I do agree with the traits you mentioned, and they are used to pigeon hole the issue instead of dealing with it.<br /><br />Sadly, women can be just as evil. I have no doubt they also twist scripture to justify things.<br /><br />lol I don't think the author 'grasps' the role of the Godly wife nor husband. Dominion of men isn't within scripture the way he portrays it. Sick minds would take his words to justify their actions, and I have wonder if they stopped to think about that part.Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-28813049884453162252010-11-10T16:41:19.404-06:002010-11-10T16:41:19.404-06:00This author displays some of the classic qualities...This author displays some of the classic qualities of an abuser:<br />1.Blame-Shifting (total lack of empathy for the person being abused)<br />2.Contempt for women (or "feminists" as he calls it)<br />3.Rigidly defined gender roles (Women must "submit" to their husbands without question and a man should "rule" over his wife anyway he chooses)<br />4. Jealous, Posessive and Controlling behaviour (A wife should "submit" to the control and authority of her husband)<br /><br />If a husband were to treat his wife the way God says that he should, then there will be no abuse. It is clear from this article that the author does not understand the role of a Godly husband (to love, protect and give himself for his wife NOT abuse and dominate her!)<br /><br />If there are any abused wife reading this that is contemplating what to do, I beg of you protect yourself and your children! God loves you too! Get help and don't stay! One day he WILL kill you if you don't run for your life!If not for you, do it for your children (if you have any)!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-35490384296449749112010-04-06T00:32:00.889-05:002010-04-06T00:32:00.889-05:00He also died that we 'might' be saved, tha...He also died that we 'might' be saved, that we are Transformed,<br /><br />or do the scriptures, numerous, in Romans, Corinthians, Jude, James, Peter, etc.,<br /><br />the works of the flesh are these, etc etc and one included, actually several, Brawling, which is violence and hitting...which INCLUDES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE,<br /><br />malice, etc., that Those who do such, Paul said, DO NOT BE DECEIVED, WILL NOT,<br /><br />I REPEAT<br /><br />WILL NOT<br />WILL NOT<br />WILL NOT<br /><br />INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN!<br /><br />This belief that all there is to it is to believe that Jesus exists, Believe is to BELIEVE WHAT HE SAYS, TO BELIEVE, SEE JAMES, IS TO HAVE WORKS THAT PROVE ONE BELIEVES--WITHOUT WORKS/CHANGE,<br /><br />FAITH IS DEAD. DEAD..DEAD...<br /><br />it's not this oh I believe there is a Jesus, the DEVILS BELIEVE TOO AND THEY FEAR AND TREMBLE,<br /><br />it is, as JESUS HIMSELF SAID, IF YOU CONTINUE IN MY WORD, IF YOU LOVE ME YOU'LL OBEY MY COMMANDMENTS, IF YOU REMAIN IN MY LOVE, IF YOU CONTINUE IN MY VINE...<br /><br />this belief that all we have to do is believe that He existed, confess our sins, CONTINUE IN OUR SINS [ROMANS, WE ARE SAVED BY GRACE, BUT DO WE SIN, GOD FORBID..FOR IF WE SOW TO THE FLESH WE WILL DIE--get that, WE WILL DIE],<br /><br />that if we only confess and just oh forgive and not Test whether the prophets are FALSE OR NOT, that oh, everything is Fine and honky dorey, and that is why Many will be shocked, when Jesus says,<br /><br />DEPART FROM ME, I NEVER 'KNEW' YOU,<br /><br />to know someone--is to have Fellowship in their sufferings--to KNOW intimately, to KNOW GOD is to KNOW that GOD is not Tolerant of Violence, the MIGHTY MAN GOD WILL BRING DOWN...<br /><br />there is So much False Gospel out there, including to women, not just to men, and America is a VIPER PIT FULL OF FALSE TEACHINGS,<br /><br />Lord Help Us, seriously,<br /><br />you Don't win souls, by the blind leading the blind == both fall into the ditch.<br /><br />While we shouldn't be legalist [leaven of pharisees] there is a Very real danger, in the leaven of HEROD, and oh, the Apostate Church is Rampant with the leaven of both today.<br /><br />We don't just need deliverance from wicked men/husbands, we need deliverance, from the LIES and false teachings...<br /><br />In solidarity,<br /><br />JaneJaneDoeThreadshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04214008105767162997noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-72005037366684245912010-04-03T10:45:16.399-05:002010-04-03T10:45:16.399-05:00Oh lord , please this is wrong none of these peopl...Oh lord , please this is wrong none of these people are you , they quote your scripture. yet they judge others and point fingers. Lord you know what is there hearts and if they come to you and leave there spouses for abuse and ask forgiveness then you would grant them that. WE are all born of sin, and terrible things happen in life down the road. There is only one perfect person born without sin . His name is Jesus, and he died for me and you , so he knew things were not going to be so great here on earth and he wants all of us in heaven . He died for us so that are sins can and will be forgiven. Why does everyone forget that. WE dont know peoples personal relationship with him so quite judging and if you see someone sinning ask them to seek god and then ask for forgiveness then you have done something wonderful you have saved a soul. WE ALL SIN AND HAVE!!!!ohmynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-32803479436669917412008-01-02T11:03:00.000-06:002008-01-02T11:03:00.000-06:00The article is not about the right or wrong of div...The article is not about the right or wrong of divorce.<BR/><BR/>The article is about the denial of the existance of abuse.<BR/><BR/>The article is the about the misusing of scripture to justify ignoring and never addressing abuse.<BR/><BR/>The article is about shameful myths regarding roles, and how they can be twisted to suit people's stands.<BR/><BR/>The article has nothing to do with divorce at all. It has to do with not addressing abuse, and diverting the blame and shame onto victims....and never EVER addressing the abuser.<BR/><BR/>I bet we can come up with tons of scripture addressing that. What does Jesus say about the oppressed? I can't find the part in scripture that says - make sure you walk on eggshells, and obey til death. We are to address their concerns, help them with their sitution. This article never did that.<BR/><BR/>Its totally against the spirit of scripture, and what Jesus stood for. Its a slap in his face as to what his mercy meant.Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-72640228542322680932008-01-01T22:07:00.000-06:002008-01-01T22:07:00.000-06:00Divorce is a sin for a couple reasons:1. Because ...Divorce is a sin for a couple reasons:<BR/><BR/>1. Because you are breaking your marriage vows..."'til death do us part!" When you say your wedding vows, you are making a lifetime commitment. I don't care if you get married at city hall or church, God still holds you accountable for your promises and commitments. A promise is a promise! <BR/><BR/>2. Because God said so! "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." -Matthew 19:6 <BR/><BR/>"...Let not the wife depart from her husband... and let not the husband put away his wife." -1st Corinthians 7:10,11<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?" -Galatians 4:16Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-24586895747162305762007-11-15T12:21:00.000-06:002007-11-15T12:21:00.000-06:00I read that article just a few minutes ago and the...I read that article just a few minutes ago and then immediately afterwards I found your blog post. That article just screams "This is why I'm justified in beating my wife!"<BR/><BR/>Good job tearing his theory apart.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03175401698815420794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-76846690043539330082007-08-29T07:26:00.000-05:002007-08-29T07:26:00.000-05:00I dont think this so called cristian man has been ...I dont think this so called cristian man has been on the other side of a fist. God wouldnt want us to go through that, and what about wifes that are good to there men. Do they deserve it and what if one day the woman slaps the crap out of him.Is she being a non submissive wife, I dont think so.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-61315425055548209582007-03-22T20:47:00.000-05:002007-03-22T20:47:00.000-05:00::I am emphasizing the sin of wives who rebel agai...::I am emphasizing the sin of wives who rebel against their husbands by not being obedient::<BR/><BR/>Oh please, sorry but his heart isn't in the right place. This is blatant blame shifting and using religion to control.<BR/><BR/>For example the commandment HONOR THY FATHER & MOTHER...<BR/>Well, what if they aren't honorable? What if they are molesting or demeaning or abusing you? Yes love them because they are your parents but get out.<BR/><BR/>And divorce? Absolutely. Far too many men use marriage licenses as a contract to control & abuse.<BR/><BR/>Far too many men who abuse or play women use their faiths as cover too.<BR/><BR/>This guy is off track... completely derailed. Physical abuse is not the only reason to leave someone. And there is NO EXCUSE for abuse. He's suggesting that the woman is responsible if the guy can't control his abuse of her? Um.... NOT.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-15712206111782652992007-03-18T12:10:00.000-05:002007-03-18T12:10:00.000-05:00This guy sounds like an abuser.This guy sounds like an abuser.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com