tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post3854769032544100417..comments2024-02-08T21:51:21.368-06:00Comments on Emotional Abuse and Your Faith: Faith Board Enables Emotional Abuse Part TwoHannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-91473229106293970662013-12-25T23:35:52.386-06:002013-12-25T23:35:52.386-06:00How can anyone claim she is honoring God by stayin...How can anyone claim she is honoring God by staying in an abusive relationship? She did not do the right thing for their children. What kind of life pattern did they teach them - that abuse is normal with marriage - most importantly a supposed to be a Christian marriage? I'd be surprise if their children remain Christians with such example. It is never right to abuse anyone, no excuse to cause pain especially to those people who by promise and blood should be protected by the one abusing. The writer said the husband does not spend time with their children. Does she understand how an unavailable father, emotionally and/or physically, is damaging the children's emotional health and they will pay big time later on in their relationships. Jesus Christ gave His life for the oppressed and the downtrodden to give them hope, freedom, dignity. Some Christians do not understand God's heart and mind. She enabled her husband. She did not help him overcome his dysfunctionality by staying around. If she left, maybe the husband could have been forced to solve his problems and stopped his sinning. Being martyrs for God is not the same in staying with an abusive husband. Martyrs for the truth not to abuse of sinning husband. A mother should think about the welfare and safety of the children first and foremost. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-45129369494492140372009-05-05T10:59:00.000-05:002009-05-05T10:59:00.000-05:00I added 3 comments yesterday...mine are on pg. 2, ...I added 3 comments yesterday...mine are on pg. 2, time 5:59 and 6:03...interestingly though I had originally added 3 comments and the 3rd one is gone.<br /><br />Personally I think the editor's note and the so called revision of the article were only done to try and sugar coat it.<br />What infuriated me was the editor's comment about the issue of "how long to stay in an unhappy marriage"...my comment was that the issue isn't about unhappy marriages, but about abusive marriages.<br /><br />They can try and say all they want that this woman lived through an UNHAPPY marriage, but you only have to read her story to see how abusive it was.<br /><br />The author herself says that she would never counsel wives to stay where there is physical abuse or the children are being subjected to harsh emotional abuse. Huh????<br /><br />She needs to read her own story. What does she think her own children went through?<br />And she says more than once how he did not continue to physical harm her because she put her foot down in the beginning, so to me this article really is telling women that unless there is physical abuse there is no alternative but to stay.<br /><br />It's interesting to me that in scripture I don't see where the different types of abuse are laid out. God hates a man covering himself with violence and breaking covenant with his wife. If a man is unfaithful to his wife God permits divorce.<br />Being violent, breaking covenant and being unfaithful...all of these things can occur without hitting, kicking or punching someone.<br /><br />I right now feel so crazy and mixed up in my mind, and sadly it's from years, 20 to be exact of being with someone that abused me psychologically, and my boys. <br />I told my counselor yesterday that even with my husband gone I still have a hard time making decisions, I become fearful of making the wrong one, I tense up and worry about what he will think, and he isn't even here!<br />For years I used to scream into my pillow for him to just hit me. It would have seemed more real, there would have been visible wounds and bruises that others could have seen too. As it was the wounds were invisible to those around me and to myself, it didn't seem real yet I knew that something was wrong, but to explain it to others just didn't make sense.<br />Just recently someone asked me what I'm afraid of...did your husband ever physically abuse you, did he hit you they asked...<br /><br />So, articles like the one you posted about only work at making women like myself feel more guilty about wanting to leave a situation that is most definitely damaging to ourselves and to our children.<br />It tells us that we are to somehow find joy in an abusive marriage because God calls us to be matyrs and suffer for Him...I just don't see in God's word where He tells us this, but for years I tried to find the joy and finally decided that if I couldn't be happy then it was all my fault. I was just an unhappy person, just like my husband always told me.<br /><br />Now though I see differently, and I am making choices that aren't very popular with some people I know, but they are choices that are vital to my health and well being.<br /><br />And someday, I'll be face to face with our Lord and He can tell me whether I did the right thing or not.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15107355327165282364noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-90569584367640192312009-05-05T10:58:00.000-05:002009-05-05T10:58:00.000-05:00I agree with you Zoey! I think the church does so...I agree with you Zoey! I think the church does some brainwashing, and if you say it enough...people believe it hook, line and sinker.<br /><br />I don't understand WHY people don't think healing, and HECK even reconcilation can happen if you address the sin head on! They can have power over parts of it, and choose NOT TO! Then use the 'cross' as the reason. <br /><br />It reminds me of the story of the good Samaritan. The church sees and keeps walking on down the road.Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-55017438630067897772009-05-05T10:31:00.000-05:002009-05-05T10:31:00.000-05:00"It does not mean God causes poor decisions, but H..."It does not mean God causes poor decisions, but He may allow them so that He might receive glory and mature our faith. You can never lose by being obedient to God."<br /><br />To me the irony is this--many churches teach that submitting to abuse is a wife's cross to bear, that she will be rewarded. Thus this article. But what I have learned is that accepting abuse is a SIN. Allowing yourself to be abused is a sin against the God who created you. So this woman has been in sin for 47 years by allowing herself and her children to be abused, yet she is being held up as a candidate for sainthood.<br /><br />She truly believes her situation is going to work itself for good, that it is for the glory of God. How is abuse glorifying to God??? This makes no sense, and my God makes sense. She and her children have had a miserable life. How is that an abundant life? She is absolutely convinced that God told her to stay in this marriage. I don't believe it. I believe her CHURCH told her to stay in the marriage, and she interpreted that to be from God.zoeygirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08864007210607764555noreply@blogger.com