tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post1367341463850652411..comments2024-02-08T21:51:21.368-06:00Comments on Emotional Abuse and Your Faith: Faith Site Enables Emotional Abuse?Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-92179104773212671022009-07-16T12:33:38.090-05:002009-07-16T12:33:38.090-05:00You both need the healing of God, and enabling the...You both need the healing of God, and enabling the pain to continue will not bring that.<br /><br />Please find wise counsel that validates the fear and pain you are in, and gives you more than telling you to PRAY for a miracle!Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-58198031276809871862009-07-14T10:49:56.029-05:002009-07-14T10:49:56.029-05:00I need to pray for patients because it hard for me...I need to pray for patients because it hard for me to endure. Today was one of my worst days, and I asked God, why me. How much do I have to endure because this is going on for three years. I look up to others that can find strength to endure the hurt and the pain. I have ask God to remove this man from my life, if he is not for me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-15927089882713481422009-05-04T22:42:00.000-05:002009-05-04T22:42:00.000-05:00I agree with you there.I agree with you there.Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-32749943555540169012009-05-04T17:41:00.000-05:002009-05-04T17:41:00.000-05:00Family Life probably would have thrown in physical...Family Life probably would have thrown in physical abuse also but knew they couldn't get away with it.<br /><br />The publication of this article is so abusive to women that its unbelieveable.<br /><br />jlpAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-81663036972978394232009-05-04T15:43:00.000-05:002009-05-04T15:43:00.000-05:00Welcome to you both!
Nice to see another man co...Welcome to you both! <br /><br />Nice to see another man commenting here as well! (EricW) :)Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-87852225303091781362009-05-04T15:36:00.000-05:002009-05-04T15:36:00.000-05:00jlp wrote:
Amen and Amen to that sister!"E" (aka ...<I>jlp wrote:<br /><br />Amen and Amen to that sister!</I>"E" (aka EricW elsewhere on the Net) is a male. :)EricWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09008786460314263379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-8694846990571684042009-05-04T14:59:00.000-05:002009-05-04T14:59:00.000-05:00E said:
I.e., this woman's "testimony" seemed alm...E said:<br /><br /><I>I.e., this woman's "testimony" seemed almost tailored to fit the Website's point and point of view and theology that no abuse suffered by a wife is too great and no misery she and her kids experience at the hands and doing of a bad husband are so awful as to justify doing anything other than turning the other cheek and turning to God, rather than ending the marriage. I.e., it covers all the bases and eliminates all the excuses and doesn't allow a female reader in a similar situation any option other than to do what this woman did - or be guilty of failing to trust and serve God.</I>Amen and Amen to that sister! It was setup to try to convert women to the belief that this is what they must do in order to please God.<br /><br />jlpAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-71149749021587544462009-05-04T14:32:00.000-05:002009-05-04T14:32:00.000-05:00I don't think I could read the comments after this...I don't think I could read the comments after this article. I'm afraid they'll make me nauseous.<br /><br />I agree with you. They make me MAD tho! I wonder if they see the 'stepford' wive part - I see that as well!Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-25244385574714066712009-05-04T14:17:00.000-05:002009-05-04T14:17:00.000-05:00Though others don't agree with me, my thoughts upo...Though others don't agree with me, my thoughts upon reading the article was that it was too perfect, and the situations too perfectly fit the "ideal" rotten and abusive marriage.<br /><br />lol E!<br /><br />Its the same ugly advice you find other places, but instead of author 'advising' you what to do they actually have a women living it telling the same. The idea part is just part of their faith bubble they live in.<br /><br />I'm sure its legit, but there has to be some sugar coating I will admit.Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-69994652981618836152009-05-04T12:41:00.000-05:002009-05-04T12:41:00.000-05:00My Heart's cry is to let others know, that you are...My Heart's cry is to let others know, that you arent alone-God hears you! and also your children's cries- He Loves You!~ no matter what happens!- what was said!, what was done!~<br />GOD Jesus He Loves You Unconditionally!- <br />No Matter What~! <br /><br />AMEN Pamela!Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-50255413891745117282009-05-04T12:40:00.000-05:002009-05-04T12:40:00.000-05:00I can certainly understand your frustration Molly....I can certainly understand your frustration Molly. I have read some decent articles there, but with this one? They totally BLEW IT, and I find it offensive and irresponsible!<br /><br />Thank you for stopping by!Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-45060882762652728462009-05-04T12:10:00.000-05:002009-05-04T12:10:00.000-05:00This article is really distressing. This woman so...This article is really distressing. This woman sounds like a Stepford wife. Her writing is devoid of sympathy, feeling, or true reflection. I shudder to think how her children will most likely perpetuate abuse in their own lives.<br /><br />"Commitment to your husband is tied to your commitment to God. When you pull away from your husband emotionally, you’ll discover you have pulled away from God."<br /><br />Where is this in the Bible? This sounds like idolatry to me--putting your husband on the same level as God. When my "covering" was an abusive husband, I could not pray. I could not worship. As soon as I got out from under that covering, I was finally able to restore my relationship with God.<br /><br />I don't think I could read the comments after this article. I'm afraid they'll make me nauseous.zoeygirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08864007210607764555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-68059242113393547772009-05-04T11:44:00.000-05:002009-05-04T11:44:00.000-05:00Though others don't agree with me, my thoughts upo...Though others don't agree with me, my thoughts upon reading the article was that it was too perfect, and the situations too perfectly fit the "ideal" rotten and abusive marriage. <br /><br />I.e., this woman's "testimony" seemed almost tailored to fit the Website's point and point of view and theology that no abuse suffered by a wife is too great and no misery she and her kids experience at the hands and doing of a bad husband are so awful as to justify doing anything other than turning the other cheek and turning to God, rather than ending the marriage. I.e., it covers all the bases and eliminates all the excuses and doesn't allow a female reader in a similar situation any option other than to do what this woman did - or be guilty of failing to trust and serve God.<br /><br />I admit that I still remain skeptical of the legitimacy of the article.<br /><br />YMMVEricWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09008786460314263379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-37099949199376848492009-05-04T11:36:00.000-05:002009-05-04T11:36:00.000-05:00Excellent commentary, Hannah. We're talking about...Excellent commentary, Hannah. We're talking about this article over at Complegalitarian, too. I love what you said about "spiritual pixie dust." YES. That has been my experience. <br /><br />I am just floored that a mainstream ministry like Family Life Today, a ministry that is supposedly FOR the family, would think that teaching women to remain in abusive marriages is a "pro-family" teaching. !!!????? <br /><br />Frustrated,<br />MollyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-6835751826816293142009-05-04T04:11:00.000-05:002009-05-04T04:11:00.000-05:00Hannah, I have been reading all the comments left ...Hannah, I have been reading all the comments left on this article. I have left a few comments as well. It is maddening! I can't believe some of the comments people are making. And at the same time I am so sad at the reality of this. By this woman remaining, her children are suffering as a result. They have no choice or voice in this. My mom stayed with my dad for 20 years and tried to endure the abuse.My siblings and I suffered because of it. <br />I hope she comes to realize how destructive staying in an abusive marriage is to her and her children.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-32690553750159030662009-05-04T01:44:00.000-05:002009-05-04T01:44:00.000-05:00I am absolutely terrified concerning how churches ...I am absolutely terrified concerning how churches in the past havent even tried to help me; especially after knowing all details in regards to severe abuse~concerning my husband against me- a women with no children~<br /><br />I have endured two painful marriages~with two different men~ over A period of twenty years time. Both which were extremely abusive, in every way possible~<br /><br />I dont know what a healthy christian marriage looks like- But I do recognize an destructive and dangerous one- that is abusive~<br /><br />How?~ thanks to many years of reaching out to others~family - friends~<br /><br />My Heart's cry is to let others know, that you arent alone-God hears you! and also your children's cries- He Loves You!~ no matter what happens!- what was said!, what was done!~<br />GOD Jesus He Loves You Unconditionally!- <br />No Matter What~! <br /><br />From A friend Of The Lord Jesus~<br />Love PamelaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-87216354220549331962009-05-03T14:35:00.000-05:002009-05-03T14:35:00.000-05:00I know I saw some of them, and let some comments m...I know I saw some of them, and let some comments myself! This just maddening!<br /><br />That's so awesome about the couple!Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-90591851030249140302009-05-03T10:11:00.000-05:002009-05-03T10:11:00.000-05:00An elderly couple from my church that has been wor...An elderly couple from my church that has been working with me as I make decisions about leaving my marriage explained something to me the other day about divorce in God's eyes. For years, and even lately, I still hear how much God hates divorce and He does not allow it except in cases of adultery, therefore I've always felt trapped and guilty for wanting out of an abusive marriage because my husband never commited adultery.<br />This wise couple explained to me that although yes God hates divorce he also hates violence and unfaithfulness. And not just sexual unfaithfulness, unfaithfulness in all areas of our lives...financial, trust, etc.<br />I had never seen it that way, and as they said, my husband has been very unfaithful over the years and just recently, and therefore God doesn't expect me to just sit by and continue allowing that unfaithfulness to destroy me.<br />Huh??? First time someone EVER explained that to me, and when I researched it, yep it's right there in God's word, Mt. 19:9...<br /><br />Re: the article you wrote about, if you haven't read the comments on the website following the article you should. Although the article is bad enough, what really got to me were the majority of approving responses. It made me so sad, and mad to read comments from women in abusive situations that said the article gave them hope to continue enduring through a bad marriage. Wow! Yet that was me not so many years ago...I was told that I just needed to continue and know that through my suffering God was making me stronger, and perhaps that is true, because now I have the strength to leave and finally live a healthy life. :)Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15107355327165282364noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-35105066782526883112009-05-03T10:07:00.000-05:002009-05-03T10:07:00.000-05:00And anyone who claims to be a christian would not ...And anyone who claims to be a christian would not be condoning this sin of violence, but would be speaking out against it.<br /><br />AMEN to that Jamey!<br /><br />I'm afraid people have brainwashing this women into thinking she must tolerate it, and just improve herself in order to endure for her family.<br /><br />People love to quote Malachi. So lets look to the last verse of Malachi 2!<br /><br />17 You have wearied the LORD with your words. <br />"How have we wearied him?" you ask. By saying, "All who do evil are good in the eyes of the LORD, and he is pleased with them" or "Where is the God of justice?" <br /><br />Its a wonder they never get to the bottom of that verse.Hannahhttp://www.eaandfaith.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-88179127754659323132009-05-03T07:06:00.000-05:002009-05-03T07:06:00.000-05:00Hannah, the ignorance and apathy of many in the fa...Hannah, the ignorance and apathy of many in the faith community towards those who are abused is appalling. The way I see it, domestic violence is a sin. No man has the right under a marriage to abuse his wife or children. And those who are encouraging a woman to stay in this situation, are encouraging the abuse to continue. When are people going to wake up and see the truth. I don't see how any christian can see the sin of abuse and think it is ok. Since when does a marriage contract give anyone the right to abuse his family. I also believe that when a man chooses to abuse his wife and children, he broke his vows to the marriage. When a man refuses to get help and change, he broke his vows to the marriage. When a man chooses violence over love, he broke his vows to the marriage. A real christian man who is walking with God would not abuse his family. And anyone who claims to be a christian would not be condoning this sin of violence, but would be speaking out against it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-54368849722242345322009-05-02T21:38:00.000-05:002009-05-02T21:38:00.000-05:00Tee hee Amy! I love your long post! It gives me ...Tee hee Amy! I love your long post! It gives me hope that people are listening! (I didn't think it was long, and I enjoyed it)<br /><br />There are alot of ridiculous articles I agree. The advice you receive is called spiritual pixie dust. You just sprinkle it around and miracles happen they feel. Marriage and healing takes work, and in most cases you don't get handed this miracle without it.<br /><br />What I think is strange? Abusers tell you that if you would do marriage GOOD ENOUGH they will be happy. Churches - well they use the same guilt trip. They both focus on one party (and it AIN'T them or their advice or well...lack of there of!). Strange how they both point in the same direction at times huh? <br /><br />To be honest I think the church does it out of ignorance, and the abusers? They do it due to alot of issues. Brokeness, Entitlement, Control, etc.Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10948559.post-11640140189028299472009-05-02T21:06:00.000-05:002009-05-02T21:06:00.000-05:00Ugh! This is exactly the type of thing I read and ...Ugh! This is exactly the type of thing I read and heard so much after I became a Christian and had already endured 10 years of emotional and verbal abuse. I needed to give it all to God, pray harder, submit more and respect him no matter what. I was to turn the other way when he belittled our children because if I stepped in I was undermining his role as a father and it was for me to pray about the situation and trust that God would stop it all. I was to step out of the way and let God in to work in his heart. Hmmm? Never did seem to work so therefore I beat myself up over not being a good Christian wife. I must be doing something sinful in my life that was keeping God from protecting me.<br /><br />Then this past fall I found your website and another one by Joel and Kathy Davisson which turned everything I had been told and had believed on it's ear.<br />I finally discovered that it wasn't okay and that God was working and He was going to work through me. I wasn't supposed to turn the other cheek over and over again, I was to stand up to it and say NO! And God was going to honor that and lead me to safety, which He has.<br /><br />Enough of these ridiculous articles under the guise of Christian articles that keep women trapped in abusive marriages by making us feel guilty, not worthy, and selfish.<br /><br />Thank you for all you do...your site has restored my faith and showed me what true love and a real marriage should be by defining what an abusive marriage looks like. <br /><br />Sorry for the long post! LOLAmyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15107355327165282364noreply@blogger.com